Friday, October 5, 2018

Kim Kardashian on Instagram: Gaze Upon My Vagina, Won"t You?

The sight of Kim Kardashian naked or in a partial state of undress is not an uncommon one.


But if the popularity of modern superhero movies has taught us anything, it’s that people want nothing more than to see the same exact thing over and over again.




And in the case of naked Kim, at least it’s free and doesn’t eat up three hours of your afternoon.


As you can see, Kim is wearing a bikini in her latest selfie.


But it’s not just any bikini, mind you.



For one thing, it’s Chanel, and probably custom, which means it also probably costs about as much as your college education.


On top of that, this particular piece of swimwear holds the distinction of being the World’s Tiniest Bikini.


And whenever a fancy designer label is combined with an opportunity for partial nudity, Kim just appears, like Beetlejuice with giant boobs.



Kim captioned the photo:


“Chanel vintage, lets please be specific,” which is a reference to the Metro Boomin song “Chanel Vintage.”


But you came here for boobs, not esoteric allusions to 4-year-old hip hop songs.



Although at this point, what’s really left to be said about Kim Kardashian’s boobs?


Well, quite a lot actually.


For one thing, they look remarkable, especially for a woman who’s birthed and breastfed (we think) two children.



And while she’s rumored to have undergone a lift or two, as far as we know, Kim has never received implants.


Of course, she appears to be lying on her back here, so despite the amount of flesh that’s exposed, it’s not easy to determine exactly what’s going on with Kim’s breasts these days.


Obviously, Mrs. Kardashian-West is in the best shape of her life, and she deserves credit for the amount of work that she puts into hair removal.



Although, to be fair, once you achieve that level of wealth, we’re sure someone does the pube-plucking for you.


We’re speaking figuratively, of course.


You can be sure a pair of tweezers hasn’t entered the vicinity of Kim’s vagina in quite some time.


These days, she probably undergoes some new technique involving magical incantations that the rest of us haven’t even heard of yet.


This has been your daily installment of us creepily spending far too much time rumination on Kim Kardashian’s body.



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