Matt Damon Masturbates in The Martian Parody Trailer

Earlier this week, The Martian trailer went viral.

The film stars Matt Damon as an astronaut who gets left on Mars by his crew.

That concept sounds intriguing, but not nearly as intriguing as the one presented on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Taking aim once again at his good friend and frequent foil, Kimmel sets up Damon's next movie a bit differently, titling it "The Mastronaut: Emission to Mars" and, put simply, making it appear as if Damon just masturbates throughout the entire thing.

'Sometimes the greatest love of all is under the zipper of your space suit,” narrates the fake trailer, while Kimmel later adds:

"44 years he spent with himself researching that role."

Funny stuff, but Kimmel better be careful. Damon might kidnap him again.

https://ce.ivyrc.com/matt-damon-masturbates-in-the-martian-parody-trailer/

Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva in New Court Battle Over Lucia

Z STAFF

EXCLUSIVE

Mel Gibson and baby mama Oksana Grigorieva are about to square off in court this morning … and it’s all about their 5-year-old daughter Lucia.

TMZ has learned, Mel is about to go to Australia to do a movie and wants to take his daughter with him for the summer. We’re told Oksana objects, so they’ll be making their respective cases before the family law judge. 

Our sources say the contention between Mel and Oksana on issues of child-rearing has not subsided … there are many conflicts. 

And this is interesting … we’ve learned Mel is extremely involved in Lucia’s life. In fact, the judge has continually increased his custody of Lucia over the years, to the point where he now has physical custody of his daughter slightly more than 50% of the time.  

See also

• Mel Gibson — My Record is Clean — Oksana Conviction Expunged


• Oksana Grigorieva — VIOLATES Confidentiality With Mel Gibson — Loses Settlement Agreement


• Oksana Grigorieva Files For Bankruptcy — I've Got $ 10 To My Name!

http://ce.ivyrc.com/mel-gibson-oksana-grigorieva-in-new-court-battle-over-lucia/

6/10/15 - Cassadee Pope at the 2015 CMT Awards in Nashville....

6/10/15 – Cassadee Pope at the 2015 CMT Awards in Nashville.

http://ce.ivyrc.com/61015-cassadee-pope-at-the-2015-cmt-awards-in-nashville/

13 Parenting Hacks to Help You Raise Your Children

It's easy to make fun of mothers and fathers across the nation for their questionable parenting moves.

But let's face it: we've all been there. We've all struggled to figure out what is right, what is wrong and what we can do to just SHUT THAT BABY THE HECK UP!!!

In the most loving and gentle way possible, of course.

With that in mind, THG is proud to present this list of parenting hacks that should make life's most difficult and most important job at least a little bit easier.

Scroll down, click around and don't bother to thank us. A generation of well cared-for kids is all the thanks we need…

1. Glove Love

Fill a glove with barley or beans. Pat your child with it. And then leave it there all night so he or she feels comforted.

2. A Homemade Hammock

This looks so relaxing, we may need to come up with an adult version as well.

3. Make Chores Into a Game

Who can get the most dirt into his or her square the fastest?!?

4. Monster Spray!

Your son or daughter will never be afraid of monsters again after you come up with this creative solution.

5. A Clean Slate

You’re baby WILL stain him or herself. A mixture of Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda will help get most anything out.

6. Pacify Yourself

Don’t want to lose your kid’s pacifier? Don’t want to get it dirty? May we suggst sauce-to-go cups?

View Slideshow

http://ce.ivyrc.com/13-parenting-hacks-to-help-you-raise-your-children/