You can have your Taylor Swifts, your Beyonces, your Katy Perrys, even your Demi Lovatos. (And that last one’s really hard for us to say. Have you seen Demi’s bikini pics lately?)
For our money, there’s no hotter, cooler, more stylish pop star than the ever-flawless Barbadian queen, Rihanna, a present from the gods, gift-wrapped in a dense cloud of weed smoke.
So we’re 100% not here for not here for any sort of body-shaming of RiRi, and if we had the time, we would find everyone who talks sh-t on her Instagram page, smack them with a cotton glove, and challenge them to pistols at dawn.
That said, we’re a celebrity gossip site, and it’s our obligation, nay – our sacred duty! – to keep you apprised of the rumors surrounding your favorite stars.
So we would be remiss if we didn’t call your attention to the many recent reports that Rihanna is pregnant.
It’s not the first time that social media has been abuzz with reports that Ms. Fenty is expecting, but this time, some folks seem to believe that there’s photographic evidence.
Much of it comes from a recent premiere event for Valerian, the candy-colored action flop starring Ri’s good friend, Cara Delevingne.
As you can see, Rihanna is looking a bit more full-figured these days, and that is not even close to an insult.
Unfortunately, we live in the year 2017, which means the comments on her photos were largely ignorant AF:
“She’s def preggo,” wrote one follower.
“She looks pregnant,” commented another.
One “fan” even took the opportunity to dredge up those old Rihanna-Jay Z cheating rumors, writing:
“She’s glowing. Congrats to her and JAY-Z on another baby.” How droll.
Of course, pics from another Valerian premiere don’t seem to give any indication at all that Ri is knocked up:
So for the above photo, fans turned to old-fashioned body-shaming.
“Damn baby you gained some weight, didn’t you?” one person wrote.
“What is she eating these days?” commented another.
Ah, the wits of the world wide web.
These days, Rihanna is dating Hassan Jameel, and who knows, she might really be knocked up.
But until she comes out with some sort of statement, everyone who feels the need to nitpick her appearance should have to post their most unflattering swimsuit selfie as penance.
It’ll be like an episode of Black Mirror where the twist is that everyone just winds up feeling really bad about themselves.