Friday, November 2, 2018

Bella Thorne Is Naked, Increasingly Desperate on Instagram

Bella Thorne is only 21, but at times, it seems that her career, such as it is, may have already peaked.


Nominally, Bella is an actress, model, singer, etc., but like so many of her peers, Thorne’s most lucrative revenue stream is social media, particularly Instagram, where she’s amassed an astonishing 18.4 million followers.



And like Kylie Jenner before her, Bella knows what makes the internet tick.


We’re talking, of course, about nudity.


It’s up there with funny cat videos and political outrage on the list of things people just can’t help but click.



Unfortunately, it’s also a game of diminishing returns.


The internet quickly loses interest in naked bodies it’s seen before and moves on to new nudity.


Some young stars realize this and change tactics (hence Miley Cyrus’ rebranding as a sober, fully-clothed hippie), while others double-down and offer up more flesh than ever, which seems to be Bella’s strategy.



We’ve seen Bella Thorne naked before, but never this much in one day.


Both the pic and the video above appeared on Bella’s Instagram page on Wednesday, and the captions have left fans confused, to say the least.


“So excited for the big release behind this shoot btw I’m wearing underneath nude bra and bathing suit bottoms for comfortability and it helps the whipped cream stay attached ;)” Bella wrote



We appreciate the old-school emoticon, and we’re sure the Instagram admins appreciate the clarification that she’s not actually naked.


But what does it all mean?


“Thorne by Bella,” Thorne later added. “Gonna be a big release w this shoot I’m stoked”.


Adding to the confusion is the fact that she’s posing in front of a neon sign that reads, “electric p-ssy.”



Is she launching her own line of vibrators? Is she actually a sex robot from the future?


Only time will tell.


But hey, we can’t really hate, since it’s marketing tactics like these that helped make Kylie Jenner a near-billionaire.


We suppose that’s another thing Bella has in common with Kylie — a preference for inappropriately old dudes.



Bella is currently dating 31-year-old Mod Sun, just as Kylie hooked up with a Z-list rapper who was nearly a decade her senior back when she was in her teens.


Look, everything’s legal here, and a 10-year age difference isn’t that weird in most circumstances, but if you’re 31 and you have a whole lot in common with people who are barely old enough to buy alcohol, it might be time to reexamine your choices.


And it’s not like Bella is known for being crazy mature for her age, ya know?



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