Chrissy Teigen’s an absolute treasure and one of our favorite celebrities.
But this time she’s shared a little too much information. Like, she’s overshared before, but this is really pushing the envelope.
It’s about her sex life with John Legend, and it reveals as much about what they don’t do in the bedroom as it does about what they do.
So the unofficial Queen of Twitter did this Marie Claire interview for the July cover and, somehow, shared an anecdote about her anus. Like you do.
“John and I had a double date, and we were joking around, and I go, ‘John’s never seen my butthole."”
We still don’t really understand how this came up in the interview, but we can guess ways that it came up on a double-date.
Like, maybe they were talking about sex acts, which isn’t uncommon among friends.
Maybe they were talking about anal bleaching.
Maybe they were talking about that infamous “6,000 RIM Jobs on the LIne” headline that’s been circulating the internet for years (yes, that’s a real headline that slipped past somebody’s editor).
That line alone tells you that this darling celebrity couple’s sex life is almost shockingly tame. The statistics are that over a third of straight women will admit to doing butt stuff with their boyfriends (who knows how high the percentage really is, you know?).
But we guess that Chrissy and John keep things simple.
Or maybe wild but in some other way.
Based on this interview, she may one day just tell us, because she shares even more information with her next line:
“And John says, ‘Are you kidding? Every time anyone does anything doggy style, you see a butthole. I see it every time."”
We don’t need to explain how the butt and hips are positioned for that, right?
“I was like, ‘We are never doing it doggy style again."”
Now, Chrissy Teigen is seldom serious.
Unless she’s blasting a certain orange-in-chief on Twitter.
So, at first, we wondered if this is even too much information or if it’s just misinformation told for humorous purposes.
It’s not like John Legend is going to issue a press release denying her claims or anything.
That would be the weirdest press release ever … and also super out of character for this couple.
But Chrissy Teigen acknowledges in that same interview that she overshares, and she comes across as totally relatable.
“I’m the person who had the fake ID in high school and college, and I would show it and be like, ‘I’m sorry; it’s fake,’ and run off.”
That sounds like anxiety, and she gets that.
“I don’t know if it’s way too honest or way too anxious — maybe it’s a combo of both.”
That really resonates with me.
And that sounds like anxiety rather than honesty.
There are some extraordinary liars in the world, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t turn into anxious wrecks under certain situations.
Just like there are history supernerds who could never go on a game show because they freeze up under that kind of pressure.
Impulsive oversharing, especially to get a laugh out of someone, can be a huge (if usually positive) symptom of anxiety.
And Chrissy’s even overshared photos of her body before, so we’re not surprised.
Anyway, that was perhaps the most charming interview that we’ve ever read about anyone’s butthole.
But it was still more than we asked for, or needed, about their sex life.
Like, not that Chrissy Teigen and John Legend aren’t very attractive and all that.
But this is gonna make it weird the next time that we reply to one of Chrissy Teigen’s tweets with “mom.”