On the last episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, we saw that Scott Disick was super depressed.
The love of his life had dumped him and he thought the entire Kardashian family – who had basically adopted him as one of their own – was shunning him as well.
Khloe Kardashian wasn"t having any of Scott"s mopey crap, so she told him to quit feeling sorry for himself and get his sh*t together.
So what does the Lord do? What any unreasonable person would do: seek out life advice from a psychic.
Specifically, he wants to know if he"s been cursed by the forces of evil.
In the clip below, he brings Kendall Jenner along with him, although we don"t know why he didn"t just ask her for a reading, because Kendall claimed she was psychic last month.
"The cards talk about a load of negative energy that"s been going on, and in the center of the spread comes up the devil card, which means there"s definitely been an energy that"s been following you around," says the psychic.
"So to answer your question, I would probably say you do have a curse," she adds.
Scott is floored. But he"s also impressed by the soothsayer"s mad skillz.
"You know, right off the bat, she confirms that there is a curse. So I think she"s pretty good," Scott reasons.
To unlock the curse, says the oracle, Scott must adorn himself in white and perform an offering with a live rooster.
Don"t worry, he doesn"t have to kill it.
"The rooster carries what you have, it sets you free as you set him free, and off he goes," the psychic explains.
But where will he go? Will the rooster ever find his family again? What if he gets hit by a car?
Pardon my concern, but the rooster didn"t ask for any of this. So allow me to offer my own divine knowledge to Scott.
YOU DON"T HAVE A CURSE, DUDE, YOU JUST MAKE TERRIBLE CHOICES AND NEED TO GET OFF THE BOOZE.
That"ll be 500 dollars, please.
