Friday, December 2, 2016

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick: Officially Back Together!

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are giving love another try after being apart for almost two years.


Keeping Up With the Kardashians ratings are pretty low these days, after all. 



E! reported that the former couple are definitely back on, and if that doesn’t tickle the cockles of your humbug heart, then this surely will: 


They’ve been together, now, for several months, and though they’re not living together — yet! — it’s gotta be coming soon.


 The Christmas holidays and all, you know. 


… You have seen Love Actually, right? 


Okay — then you know how this is going to play out. 



A source reportedly close to the family told the website, “They are back together and giving their relationship a try again.”


Did Kourtney finally, once and for all, get sick of Biebdong?


Perhaps.


But it’s more likely that Scott chilled out and relaxed with the seedy Vegas appearances and super shallow jumpoffs. 


“Scott’s mellowed out a lot and hasn’t been partying.” 


Well, hell, friends — there you have it. 



The source also claimed that Kourt and Scott wanted to make things work for their children, because you know there’s nothing like staying together for the kids. 


Really, the loveliest bit is that this comes at a time when KUWTK’s cameras have — allegedly, ROFLCOPTER — stopped rolling, and no one’s around to catch their lucrative PDA photos on video. 


Coupling that with the fact that since interest in the reality show has begun waning since real life interfered — Kim Kardashian’s robbery, Kanye West’s mental breakdown — it’s easy to see that somebody, somewhere is looking for some good news for a change. 


Previously, it was reported that Kourtney was really putting the heat on Scott, and Kourtney wants to get married stat. 


“Kourt’s been impressed with how hard he’s worked to get back into her good graces,” a source reported, “and she fell in love with him all over again during their Mexican vacation,” which was a recent happening. 



There seems to be something about Mexican vacations that makes people lose their damn minds.


Perhaps it’s the worm in the tequila. 


You’ve seen Poltergeist II, right?  


There you have it. 


Kourtney was then said to give Scott an ultimatim to marry her — because nothing quite says, “I love you” like “Marry me or it didn’t happen.” 



For Scott’s part, it sounds like he took the million-dollar bait: the two are reportedly in wedding-planning mode, and it’s supposedly gonna be a “quiet” affair at home. 


Shew. 


Not if the Momager has anything to do with it, it won’t. 


And then, of course, we’ll see a televised spectacle where poor, insane Scott Disick goes entirely off the rails, flees the scene as he strips himself of his mentally-binding marital garb, and checks into rehab, where he’s never, ever seen again. 


Or, you know, something. 


OH BUT CONGRATULATIONS GUYS. 



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