With so many disturbing things about Donald Trump’s policies, personality, and the way he’s spent his life enriching himself at the expense of others, it can be easy to overlook some of his lesser flaws.
Fortunately, unlike the President-elect, we’re not preparing to assume power as the leader of the free world while also squeezing in meetings with emotionally unstable rappers, so we have time to concern ourselves with minor issues like Trump’s sh-tty taste in food.
Just kidding! According to his morning rage-tweet, Trump has plenty of time to obsess over trivialities like overdone cheeseburgers.
On Wednesday, Vanity Fair published a piece by Tina Nguyen entitled “Trump Grill Could Be the Worst Restaurant in America.”
Nguyen posited that the establishment was more than just a sub-par tourist-t steakhouse, and actually serves as a reflection of the political neophyte himself, offering diners a “cheap version of rich,” consistent with Fran Lebowitz’s notion that Trump’s appeal lies in his role as “a poor person’s idea of a rich person.”
In other words, Trump Grill (or “Grille” as its spelled on some signage) is all sizzle and no steak.
Nguyen poked fun at everything from the food (“sad little meat things” and “woody batons called ‘fries’) to hilariously over-rehearsed banter from the staff. (“Oh, I’ve shaken hands with him before, and they’re pretty normal-sized hands,” her waiter said, seemingly apropos of nothing.)
Naturally, none of this sat well with the Donald.
“Has anyone looked at the really poor numbers of @VanityFair Magazine. Way down, big trouble, dead! Graydon Carter, no talent, will be out!” Trump tweeted this morning.
Many have pointed out that the tweet (particularly the “big trouble, dead!” and “will be out!” parts) sounds like a threat, which is more than a little disturbing coming from a man who will soon be tasked with defending the Constitution, including that all-important First Amendment.
Of course, it’s possible that the random attack on Carter had nothing to do with criticism of “flaccid, gray Szechuan dumplings [and] their flaccid, gray innards,” and everything to do with Trump’s insecurity over his own anatomy.
Several sources have pointed out that Carter seems to have been the first to remark on Trump’s tiny hands during his time as Spy magazine.
Trump has voiced his displeasure with Carter several times in the past and hilariously, he’s been known to send photos of himself to the journalist in hopes of demonstrating that his hands are actually of a normal size for an adult male.
So yeah, even though Trump’s latest attack on Vanity Fair isn’t really about the Fieri-quality fare at his restaurant, we’ll still grant it the distinction of unseating that ridiculous taco bowl selfie from Mayas his most ridiculous food-related tweet.
Your next president, ladies and gentlemen.
