Our long national nightmare is over.
… Because Brandi Glanville and Joanna Krupa have finally settled their lawsuit.
That’s right, folks. The Curious Case of the Allegedly Smelly Vagina has reached its conclusion.
It’s hard to go into a highly publicized lawsuit and come out smelling like roses.
Given the circumstances, though, we wouldn’t care to speculate on Joanna’s odor. She apparently tends to overreact.
Brandi Glanville and Joanna Krupa have put an end to Joanna’s $ 15,000 lawsuit with an out-of-court settlement, the details of which are still under wraps.
But it looks like Joanna, at least, is happy with the results.
Because it’s Brandi Glanville who’s issuing a public apology.
Brandi Glanville’s apology, shared with E!, doesn’t admit to any slander or whatever but nonetheless gives Joanna about as much out-of-court vindication as she could expect.
“I want to apologize to Joanna Krupa for the statements I have made about her.”
Honestly, and we absolutely love Brandi, but that’s long overdue, right?
“I regret making such statements about Joanna Krupa; I also certainly never intended my statements to be taken so seriously and out of proportion”
She regrets making the statements — well, of course she does, since nobody likes getting sued.
As for regretting them being “taken so seriously and out of proportion,” well … the only one who really did that was Joanna Krupa herself.
You gotta admire a woman who throws shade even in her public apology.
“I apologize as I never wanted my statements to affect Joanna Krupa’s reputation and I wish her nothing but continued success in life.”
That last part’s … diplomatic.
Not necessarily true, but that’s a tasteful ending to an agreed upon apology.
As for the details of the settlement, which haven’t been revealed, we can only give you our educated guess:
Since they settled, they probably didn’t exchange money.
Both Brandi and Joanna are worth millions, so we don’t imagine that the $ 15,000 was the big deal here.
No, what was at stake was their respective reputations and clearly shared stubbornness.
Seriously, these two have more in common than gorgeous looks and Real Housewives fame.
It’s unbelievable that this absurd farce of our legal system made it into court for this long.
We’re guessing that the “nail in the coffin” for Brandi’s defense — whatever forced her to capitulate and apologize — was the recent testimony of Joanna Krupa’s ex.
If you remember, Romain Zago claims that Joanna Krupa’s vagina smells wonderful.
That’s a real thing that he said in court, claiming that her genital odor is the “best in the world.”
By the end of that guy’s testimony, you’d have thought that Joanna’s genital odor doubled as an air freshener.
But however it came to be, thank goodness that this particular bit of nonsense is over.
Though we still don’t know if Joanna Krupa is ever going to live down the “smelly vagina” association.
And that’s not Brandi’s fault — we don’t think that people would still be talking about it if Joanna hadn’t made such a stink about it.
(Pun not intended, we swear)