Thus far, 2018 has been filled with unexpected twists.
Teenagers are being forced to talk some sense into their senators, and Donald Trump wants to take guns away without due process.
Yes, we’re living in the Upside Down, folks, and it should come as no suprise that Orenthal James Simpsons wants to contribute to your growing sense that life is a confusing nightmare from which we never awaken:
As you may have heard, O.J. is out of prison and has reentered the general population.
Or – put a catchier way – the Juice is loose.
Now, before he became one of the world’s most famous (alleged) murders, O.J. was a football legend who carved out a port-retirement career as a successful broadcaster.
Unfortunately, two pricey legal battles and nine years behind bars have put quite a squeeze on the Juice’s assets.
So it’s time for Simpson to once again horrify the world and further traumatize the family’s of his (alleged) victims by exploiting his infamy for money.
As though 2017 didn’t give Simpson obsessives enough O.J.-phenalia, Sunday night will see the premiere of a Fox special entitled OJ Simpson: The Lost Confession?
Believe it or not, that’s more than just a sensational title, as producers really do claim to have evidence that Simpson confessed to the 1994 murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
Back in 2007, O.J. made the baffling decision to publish a book entitled If I Did It.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, it seems the original title for the book was simply I Did It.
According to the special, Simpson had his attorney call the book’s publisher, Judith Regan, and inform her that he did indeed commit the murders, and thus, the book needed a slightly more tactful title.
Sources tell TMZ that that revelation appears in a scene that was edited out of Sunday’s special for reasons that remain unclear.
Simpson’s lawyer reportedly told Regan that O.J. is not concerned about his public perception, but did not want his children believing that he was guilty.
TMZ points out that Simpson left his wife’s nearly decapitated corpse just feet from where his children slept, and had Nicole’s dog not alerted a passerby, the kids would’ve discovered it in the morning.
But hey, at least he decided to protect from the awful truth over a decade last night.
That O.J. – what a guy!
