A person would have to be out of their mind to commit such an act in public.
Apparently this was the case at an Ohio Kroger Supermarket, which 23-year-old Colin Murphy treated as his toilet on May 29th.
Court records state that Murphy appeared intoxicated as he “stumbled” through the grocery aisles, “slurring his speech and reeking of booze.”
Murphy then made his way to the self-checkout station, where he stripped down in front of an employee, and proceeded to defecate on the grocery scanner.
Where people scan their food.
Regularly.
Police then arrested Murphy, and charged him with public indecency and disorderly conduct.
His bail was posted at $ 2,000.
Murphy was locked up on Sunday, and released from Hamilton County jail after his arraignment on Monday. A judge “ordered him to stay away from the store,” local station WLWT reports.
Prior to this, Murphy was arrested in December 2014 for “obstructing official business,” when he broke into a school and caused more than $ 100,000 in damage.
According to police, Murphy smashed a window at Rothenberg Preparatory Academy around 2.a.m., and by the time they got there, he was “inside the building damaging several water lines and school rooms causing excessive damages to floor, ceilings and student areas exceeding $ 100,000 in value.”
Murphy ran from the police (and a police dog), and was then “wrestled to the ground by two officers.”
He was charged with breaking and entering, obstructing official business and vandalism, which are all felonies, according to Cincinnati.com.
During his mayhem spree inside the building, Murphy turned safety showers on, which caused a lot of water damage.
Fortunately, a spokeswoman said, Murphy’s antics did not affect the school day, which must have disappointed several students. And Murphy, for that matter.
If you’re going to destroy school property, at least break a few more things so the kids get a day off.
At the end of the day, Murphy is just a school-damaging scanner pooper.