Lindsay Lohan REALLY Wants You to Care That She Turned 30

Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 30th birthday over the weekend, and while we’ll grant that there was a time when a lot of people didn’t think she would make it to the big 3-0, turning a year older isn’t really an achievement.

Lindsay posted the above photo on her Instagram page on Saturday, presumably to remind us that she has no idea how the world or human interactions work.

We know that Lindsay is terrible at Photoshop, so she probably didn’t make it, but just the fact that she posted a birthday card to herself with nothing but Emojis in the caption is weird as hell.

Even weirder: that’s just the beginning of Lohan’s bizarre obsession with her own birthday.

Not only did Lindsay host a live online Q&A session to “celebrate” the occasion (seriously), she also attempted to make her own birthday hashtag happen.

Clearly, she learned nothing from Toaster Strudel heiress Gretchen Wieners, because the girl pushed #LiloIs30 for days before taking the hint that it wouldn’t be catching on.

And if you thought the weirdness would end there, clearly you don’t know #LiLo.

“Happy birthday to me from a genius mind with a beautiful heart!! Hurry back to London soon! #letsdothis #LILOIS30”

It kinda feels like Lindsay is a freakin’ Martian who just learned about the concept of birthdays last week.

You can’t just post a pic of someone and wish yourself a happy birthday from them.

If you could, Kate Upton and LeBron James would wish us a happy birthday every year.

Lindsay posted nearly a dozen pics in celebration of her birthday, many of them documenting the Greek Islands vacay that she took with her rich Russian boyfriend.

Hilariously, she did the A-list celebrity thing where she was careful not to give away her exact location, so as to avoid getting mobbed by adoring fans.

We’d say she could’ve just not posted on social media every 20 minutes, but then where would we have gotten out #LiloIs30 updates?

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston: Major PDA Alert In Fourth of July Pic

Ugh, smug couples.

As if seeing Tom Hiddleston wearing an “I Love T.S.” tank top weren’t bad enough, now we have to see pictures of them looking like they’re taking engagement photos.

Of course Swift’s engagement photos would include cameos by Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, because that is how Swift’s life works.  

I’m not bitter, I’m just hangry.

Swift’s best friend, Britany LaManna posted the photo of the three couples – including herself and husband, Ben – on the porch of Swift’s Rhode Island home.

While everyone attempted some form of a pose, Hiddleston and Swift were in their own little world, and quite frankly, we felt like we had walked in on something super intimate.

View Slideshow: Tom Hiddleston: 8 Things to Know About Taylor Swift’s New Bae

Swift hosted famous friends over the weekend, including Lively, Karlie Kloss, Cara Delevingne, Ruby Rose, Uzo Aduba, Gigi Hadid, and Martha Hunt.  

The gang wore matching red, white and blue striped bathing suits, and made good use of the bouncy slip and slide put up in Swift’s back yard.

Maack is Swift’s best friend since childhood; the singer served as Maid of Honor at her wedding back in February.

Regarding Hiddleston, No one really understands the relationship he has with Swift. 

Some call it a whirlwind romance, while others think it’s a publicity stunt set up to benefit both parties.

The fact that these two have been dating for a full three minutes and have already gone on a holiday in Rome, and that Swift has met Hiddleston’s mother, has everyone wondering what TF is going on.

By the way, all of this was captured by a photographer that some fans suspect was hired by the couple.

A few weeks ago, a source told Us Weekly that Hiddleston was biding his time.  As soon as Swift and Calvin Harris broke up, Hiddleston was ready to make a move.

Not that Swift minded.

“He’s hot, smart, talented, British – everything she’s into,” the source said.

View Slideshow: Taylor Swift July Fourth Party: See the Photos!

Brielle Zolciak-Biermann: Dating Red Sox Minor League Pitcher Michael Kopech!

She’s in love!  She’s in love, and she doesn’t care who knows it!

Brielle Zolciak-Biermann is dating Red Sox minor-league pitcher Michael Kopech, and the two lovebirds have been flaunting their romance all over social media.

According to TMZ, the two have been dating since March.

Two weeks ago, Kopech, 20, posted a cute photo to his Instagram with the caption, “Pretty good week, all in all.”

Because she’s a woman, and because we as women find it very hard to not gush about a fella we fancy, Zolciak-Biermann is a bit braver with her captions.

She posted one of Kopech on the pitcher’s mound (below) with a heart emoji.

Another Instagram show the reality star wrapped in Kopech’s arms with the caption, “So this is what it’s really like…”

Before meeting Kopech, Zolciak-Biermann dated Slade Osbourne, who appeared on episodes of Bravo’s Don’t Be Tardy.

“We broke up two weeks ago,” she told E! News back in October 2015.

“Even though you will see us as a couple for the rest of the season on Don’t Be Tardy, we are no longer together.

“He’s not the man I thought he was, and as a result, my entire family and myself are disappointed.”

Kim Zolciak: Morphing Into Daughter Brielle Biermann?

Kopech and Zolciak-Biermann’s relationship is long distance at the moment.  When he’s not playing in Salem, Virginia, the pitcher is visiting his lady love in Atlanta.

Zolciak-Biermann catches some of his games, and Snapchatted on interaction between Kopech and fans.

“when ur bf is more famous than u lmao,” she wrote while filming Kopech sign autographs.

TMZ has the vitals on Kopech: He’s 6’3″ and weighs 205 pounds.  The family reportedly loves that he’s a “gentleman.”

Kopech’s Instagram is full of inspiring captions, including his struggle in the limelight:

“I’m baaackk.

“Since the last time I’ve pitched in a game I’ve seen hate mail directed at my family, I’ve been on the receiving end of many threats & I’ve lost more than half of my supporters. I’ve been told I’ll never amount to anything. Well… we’ll see!”

We love a man with goals.

View Slideshow: Brielle Zolciak: Photos of Instagram’s Newest Star

Brielle Zolciak-Biermann: Dating Red Sox Minor League Pitcher Michael Kopech!

She’s in love!  She’s in love, and she doesn’t care who knows it!

Brielle Zolciak-Biermann is dating Red Sox minor-league pitcher Michael Kopech, and the two lovebirds have been flaunting their romance all over social media.

According to TMZ, the two have been dating since March.

Two weeks ago, Kopech, 20, posted a cute photo to his Instagram with the caption, “Pretty good week, all in all.”

Because she’s a woman, and because we as women find it very hard to not gush about a fella we fancy, Zolciak-Biermann is a bit braver with her captions.

She posted one of Kopech on the pitcher’s mound (below) with a heart emoji.

Another Instagram show the reality star wrapped in Kopech’s arms with the caption, “So this is what it’s really like…”

Before meeting Kopech, Zolciak-Biermann dated Slade Osbourne, who appeared on episodes of Bravo’s Don’t Be Tardy.

“We broke up two weeks ago,” she told E! News back in October 2015.

“Even though you will see us as a couple for the rest of the season on Don’t Be Tardy, we are no longer together.

“He’s not the man I thought he was, and as a result, my entire family and myself are disappointed.”

Kim Zolciak: Morphing Into Daughter Brielle Biermann?

Kopech and Zolciak-Biermann’s relationship is long distance at the moment.  When he’s not playing in Salem, Virginia, the pitcher is visiting his lady love in Atlanta.

Zolciak-Biermann catches some of his games, and Snapchatted on interaction between Kopech and fans.

“when ur bf is more famous than u lmao,” she wrote while filming Kopech sign autographs.

TMZ has the vitals on Kopech: He’s 6’3″ and weighs 205 pounds.  The family reportedly loves that he’s a “gentleman.”

Kopech’s Instagram is full of inspiring captions, including his struggle in the limelight:

“I’m baaackk.

“Since the last time I’ve pitched in a game I’ve seen hate mail directed at my family, I’ve been on the receiving end of many threats & I’ve lost more than half of my supporters. I’ve been told I’ll never amount to anything. Well… we’ll see!”

We love a man with goals.

View Slideshow: Brielle Zolciak: Photos of Instagram’s Newest Star