Look. We"ve all been there.
We"ve all been teenagers, a bit curious, a bit confused and all kinds of titillated by the opposite sex.
So we can understand what the young man in the following video is thinking.
He"s thinking this:
BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! OH MY GOD, SO MANY BOOBS!
See, the young man is serving as a security guard for the San Diego Chargers in this explicit footage, working the sidelines at this past Sunday"s game against the Oakland Raiders.
But that"s not all he"s working.
He"s also working his own penis, in a pretty intense manner by the looks of things.
This video popped up on Facebook yesterday, quickly making the viral rounds because… well…
Because it features a security guard standing in broad daylight, directly in front of a group of cheerleaders (not to mention tens of thousands of fans in the stands), very clearly pleasuring himself.
Talk about unsportsmanlike conduct!
No wonder the Chargers are likely moving to Los Angeles next season!
There"s a flag at nearly full staff on the play!
This is a clear example of illegal hands to the… head!
Move over, Odell Beckham Jr. There"s someone else out there who excels at using one hand!
We"ve never seen such a clear case of holding!
But seriously folks….
The team has been unable to identify the horny employee, who has reportedly been fired by Elite Security, but San Diego did issue a statement that reads as follows:
"We are aware of the disturbing actions of an Elite security staff member at Sunday’s game. We apologize to any fans who may have witnessed the incident."
And we apologize to anyone who clicks PLAY on the following video. Consider yourself warned.
