Wednesday, December 14, 2016

John Mayer: Everything About Taylor Swift is Lame!

John Mayer must be seething with jealousy, because his ex-girlfriend, Taylor Swift, is waaayyyyy up here.


John Mayer … well, he’s hanging out waaaayyyyy down there.  


In an internet tirade seemingly directed at his majorly famous ex, Mayer said, “Tuesday, December 13 may be the lamest day of the year, conceptually.” 



While it could very well have been innocuous enough, Mayer suspiciously pulled the tweet down either realizing his snafu, or realizing that the douche was strong within. 


If you were caught unaware, December 13 is Taylor Swift’s birthday.


Swift has also long credited the number 13 as her “lucky” one. 


Previously Swift has said, “The significance of the number 13 on my hand.”


“I paint this on my hand before every show because 13 is my lucky number; for a lot of reasons,” she revealed. 


“I was born on the 13th. I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. My first album went gold in 13 weeks.”


“My first number one song had a 13-second intro,” she said. 


13 is a very, very significant number to Taylor Swift, apparently, and it might not be easy for her to just quit it. 



And speaking of quitting things, Mayer and Swift’s parting didn’t come easily, either. 


The song “Dear John” was about John Mayer, which included lyrics like “Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone tonight.”


“Well I stopped pickin’ up and this song is to let you know why /Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone.”


“Don’t you think I was too young /To be messed with? /Maybe it’s you and your sick need /To give love then take it away.”


“And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand /And I’ll look back in regret how I ignored when they said, ‘Run as fast as you can.’ “


Super intense, right? 


Mayer might well have deleted the tweet, but as he should know, the internet never does. 



And if Swift herself catches wind of this, we’re not in for a tweet, but a real treat: you know there’ll be some kind of “Dear John II” to come out of all of this. 


See? Everybody wins — Mayer preserves his “integrity” by not having the actual tweet out there, we get a new Swift song, and Taylor gets to make money.  


As for why he did it, who knows. 


Taylor Swift’s squad and toadies filled up the interwebs with birthday wishes and life accolades all over the place yesterday.


Perhaps that was the reason Mayer thought he’d add his particular brand of praise to the chorus. 


Little did he know — or, hey; fully did he know — he picked the wrong day to call “lame.” 



Frankly, to us, it sounds like Mayer wanted to get his name in the headlines again. 


And not for wearing terrible hats and playing Big Sky Cowboy in Montana with all of his horsies. 


Well played, sir; well played. 



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