John Mayer wants to can the idea that men must be alpha males and take what they want — including women — and replace it with a new doctrine focused on respect and sensitivity. The guitar-slinging crooner was doing a cancer benefit show…
Showing posts with label Mayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mayer. Show all posts
Monday, October 8, 2018
Sunday, September 2, 2018
Ex-UFC Owner"s Daughter Has Bruno Mars, John Mayer & Seal Play Wedding
The UFC is the gift that keeps on giving, especially if you’re one of the guys who sold it for max profit … and later got some of the biggest names in music for your kid’s wedding. Frank Fertitta’s daughter, Kelley, got hitched this weekend in…
Saturday, June 16, 2018
John Mayer Will Guest Star on HQ Trivia Sunday
John Mayer’s taking his show on the road … to make a special guest appearance on the popular live trivia game, HQ Trivia. Sources close to the singer-songwriter tell TMZ … he’ll join host Scott Rogowsky — aka Host Malone, aka Quiz Khalifa, aka…
Friday, March 23, 2018
John Mayer And Hailey Baldwin Grab Dinner Together
John Mayer and Hailey Baldwin hugged it out leaving dinner Thursday night … but it just seems super friendly. The duo was joined by other friends including “Boy Meets World” star Danielle Fishel at dinner in the San Fernando Valley. Baldwin had…
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
John Mayer: Hospitalized for Emergency Appendectomy!
Early today, John Mayer was hospitalized for emergency surgery.
Please save your “Your Body Is A Wonderland” jokes for the end.
On Tuesday, Dead & Company’s official Twitter account posted this:
“Early this morning, Tuesday, December 5th, John Mayer was admitted into the hospital for emergency appendectomy forcing the Dead & Company December 5th concert in New Orleans to be postponed.”
Now, that can be pretty serious. The appendix might not be a vital organ, but when it begins to swell, it’s effects can be profoundly painful.
If it were to burst, it would be much, much worse.
Don’t freak out that it’s an “emergency appendectomy,” as … that’s generally how appendectomies work. It’s not an elective surgery; you remove it before it kills you.
Even so, this is major surgery. They will in all likelihoods make a number of small incision points, one in his navel and two below his waist. They’ll then “inflate” in order to create some wiggle-room and use endoscopic tools to carefully remove the appendix.
Ideally, before it bursts.
Scarring will be pretty minimal — it’s not like those huge abdominal scars that people who got the surgery in years past received.
Recovery will take weeks.
Based upon my experience (I had an appendectomy in 2004), the worst part of recovery is dealing with lingering pain if they used carbon dioxide to make room for the endoscopic surgery. For me, that gas pain was worse than appendicitis or the surgery itself.
It will probably be days before he’s willing to eat again, but unless there are complications, he should be able to be up and (very gingerly) walking as early as tomorrow.
He’ll need to avoid alcohol for a few weeks and also avoid any heavy lifting. Sitting up is going to be a pain for several days, at least.
Hopefully, he’ll make a full and speedy recovery.
Yeah, a lot of people consider John Mayer to be a douche, but it takes more than rubbing people the wrong way to deserve to have one of your organs explode. That’s rough.
Now, when the metaphorical smoke clears and it’s announced that John Mayer has made a full recovery, then we can start making jokes.
The “Your Body Is A Wonderland” jokes.
Perhaps some jokes at the expense of Katy Perry, one of John Mayer’s many famous exes.
As we all recall, Katy Perry ranked John Mayer as the best at sex when compared to Diplo and Orlando Bloom.
If you feel like making a joke with twists and turns, you can even try to make a joke connecting John Mayer’s misbehaving appendix with his allegedly large penis.
(I’ve thought of several but wouldn’t care to subject anyone to them)
That’s up to you; just don’t tell inappropriate jokes at work.
The Twitter account posted an update:
“All tickets for the December 5 show will be honored for the rescheduled date. Information on the rescheduled date will be announced as soon as possible. Should ticketholders choose to seek a refund, they will be available at point of purchase.”
That’s great news, though we’re sure that ticketholders are currently more concerned about John Mayer’s well-being than they are about what to do with their tickets.
We all look forward to when we can poke fun at John Mayer’s goofy statements instead of worrying about his health.
John Mayer Hospitalized for Emergency Appendectomy
John Mayer’s been rushed to a New Orleans hospital for an emergency appendectomy. John was hospitalized early Tuesday morning according to a rep for the singer. We’re told he’s in surgery right now. The guitarist is touring with The Dead and…
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
John Mayer Says Hello to 40 in PJs and $600 Sandals!!!
John Mayer is now 40 and supremely confident in his wardrobe choices … and he flaunted it as he stepped off a plane in Rio. John arrived in Brazil Monday — the day he hit the big 4-0 — to do 5 concert dates. Fans greeting him in the airport…
Friday, October 13, 2017
John Mayer Scores Diamond "Big Lebowski" "The Dude" Chain for 40th Birthday
John Mayer’s way over the line with his 40th bday celebration — ‘cause he’s hanging with the Dude. The singer bought an iced out chain pendant of one of his favorite movie characters — the Dude from “The Big Lebowski.” The 18k white gold piece is…
Thursday, June 29, 2017
John Mayer Finally Responds to Katy Perry"s Sexual Rankings!
When your ex singles you out as their best former lover, people are going to expect a response. People are going to ask you for a response.
So yes, somebody finally put that skeezy John Mayer on the spot about Katy Perry’s comments.
Brace yourselves, because he’s still very much John Mayer.
So, Katy Perry ranked her past lovers a little while back.
She did it at the behest of James Corden; it was part of this goofy livestream thing that she was doing.
Anyway, she only ranked three lovers. John Mayer came out on top.
(Well, she ranked him the highest; she didn’t get into positions).
After John Mayer came Orlando Bloom with the silver medal, McKayla Maroney-style.
Honestly, since we know that a waitress got fired for “amazing” sex with Orlando Bloom, silver doesn’t sound bad at all.
Last of the three, though Katy Perry stressed that all three were amazing lovers whom she’d happily boff again, was Diplo.
Diplo’s response to coming in last among the three was very … Diplo.
Diplo suggested that sex with Katy Perry wasn’t memorable, which we have a hard time believing.
In his Rolling Stone interview, John Mayer responded to Katy Perry‘s compliment in a consummately John Mayer style.
He manages to not say anything yet infuriate us at the same time.
“I don’t have a cool-enough thought for you.”
We’ll have to remember that line the next time that we’re asked something on the spot, we guess.
“I’ve hacked this game. I pay very little of the price of fame now. I get to play the music that moves me the most.”
…What.
“I’m having the time of my life. I’m 39 — I remember 32. I don’t wanna do it again.”
That’s just his response to Katy saying that he’s good at banging.
Why is he like this?
In case you thought that Mayer was just, like, rambling like that in order to be evasive about Katy Perry … this is how he talked about switching from alcohol to pot.
“Drinking is a f—ing con. How much is enough? Every time I drank, I was looking for some sort of regulated amount.”
FYI, there’s no regulated amount unless we’re talking about legal limits.
You just drink it as long as you feel like drinking it but not so much that you die.
It’s basically the same rules that apply to orange juice and water. It’s not that hard, my guy.
“It always feels wrong for me. I always feel like I went overboard. ‘I said two, now it’s three, now we’re at four?’”
Is four drinks considered a lot? We’re not sure, and neither is he.
“I never had a serious issue with it, but I remember looking around, going, ‘This feels rigged. I’m taking a break. There’s never an amount that felt like I was succeeding at life. It always felt wrong.”
Honestly, we’d try to wrap our minds around how drinking is “rigged” but we could do something more productive with our time.
Like, you know, literally anything else.
The one good thing from skeezy John Mayer’s barely intelligible ramblings is that we know that he’s grown as a person.
Yes, really.
Remember 7 years ago when John Mayer referred to Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm?”
Because we sure do.
That was wildly inappropriate.
With that in mind, we should be grateful that he didn’t refer to Katy Perry as a “sexual MOAB” or “sexual rail gun” or whatever it was that he was probably tempted to say.
As for Katy Perry’s sexual prowess?
We know that it’s easy to poke fun at and criticize her (sometimes she deserves criticism, sometimes she doesn’t).
But she’s probably very sexually competent.
Friday, April 21, 2017
Katy Perry Shoots John Mayer Down in Hilarious Fashion
John Mayer is in the midst of some sort of douchiness apology tour.
The idea is to make the public forgive him for his many years of being a douche, but ironically, the whole venture is tremendously douchey.
Through confessional ballads and self-deprecating interviews, Mayer is attempting to turn back the clock to a time when the mention of his name didn’t conjure up images of a text left on “read” for four days and anxious wait for the results of a VD test.
Mayer’s redemption campaign has mostly been harmless (and ineffective), but now it seems he’s dialing the whole thing up to 11 by attempting to worm his way back into the life of one of his most famous exes.
Yes, sources say Mayer is trying to win back Katy Perry.
It might seem like a ludicrous proposition, but believe it or not, Mayer and Perry have gotten back together several times since their original breakup, so it’s not so crazy for John to think she’d be willing to give him another shot.
Fortunately, Katy is older and wiser these days, and it seems she’s far less susceptible to Mayer’s BS.
According to Life & Style, Mayer recently tried to swoop in on Katy following her breakup with Orlando Bloom.
The singer reportedly sent his ex a massive bouquet of 100 roses to her house, along with a note reading, “I’m here for you.”
According to a source close to the situation, Katy was having none of that, and she immediately had the bouquet donated to a nearby nursing home.
To make sure that Mayer got the message, she then had her assistant send a pic of the flowers – presumably just chillin’ in the middle of the bingo room – to John’s phone.
“She’s horrified that he’s pining for her so publicly,” an insider tells the tabloid.
“She’s hardened her heart against him.”
Unfortunately for Katy, it seems Mayer has no intention of giving up:
“He’s desperate to convince her he’s a changed man, but she’s told friends she’ll get rid of anything he sends her,”
You’re barking up the wrong tree, John!
Katy Perry isn’t impressed by massive flower arrangements and grand declarations of love.
They’ll only get you a restraining order and a sternly-worded letter from attorneys.
At least that’s what we’ve heard, anyway.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Dave Chappelle, John Mayer Pay Touching Tribute to John Mayer
Yesterday, the world learned the tragic news that comedy icon Charlie Murphy had passed away at the age of 57.
Tributes to Murphy began pouring in from all corners of social media almost immediately, many of them from the late actor and standup"s colleagues in the entertainment world.
But it wasn"t until today that we learned of the manner in which Murphy"s life was commemorated by his two most important collaborators: his brother, Eddie Murphy, and Dave Chappelle, the man whose sketch show helped make Charlie a household name.
It was on Chappelle"s Show that Murphy shared the side-splitting tales of his encounters with Rick James and Prince, and it seems that like the rest of us, Chappelle still enjoys quoting the best lines with his friends.
Of course, in Chappelle"s case, his friends are A-listers like John Mayer, and when they quote Charlie Murphy, they do it on stage in front of 20,000 people.
Chappelle joined Mayer during a concert in Ohio last month, and the two of them reflected on Murphy"s life and contributions to the world of comedy.
“Today, I got some terrible news,” Chappelle told the crowd.
“My good friend, Charlie Murphy, passed away this morning, and everybody in comedy is heartbroken.”
Dave and John reflected on the highlights of Murphy"s tragically shortened career (It"s good to know we"re not the only ones who still call people "habitual line-steppers."), and Chappelle asked Mayer to honor Charlie with a performance of "You"re Gonna Live Forever In Me."
"Rest in peace Charlie Murphy," Chappelle said by way of introducing the song.
"We love you. We loved your comedy, we loved your stories, and we love your spirit."
Dave Chappelle Pays Tribute to Charlie Murphy at John Mayer Concert (VIDEO)
Dave Chappelle stopped by his friend John Mayer’s concert Wednesday night to show the love to a friend they just lost — Charlie Murphy. Dave got onstage and praised Charlie for his friendship, comedy and storytelling. Then Dave told the crowd that…
Monday, April 3, 2017
Live Nation Stops Bootlegers from Selling John Mayer Merchandise at MSG
Live Nation is hell-bent on making sure no one’s peddling bootleg John Mayer t-shirts outside Madison Square Garden next month when his show rolls through town. The company just got a temporary restraining order banning street vendors from…
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
John Mayer Throws Shade for Taylor Swift"s Birthday
John Mayer celebrated Taylor Swift’s birthday not by throwing a party, but by throwing MAJOR shade her way. John tweeted a not-so-subtle diss at his ex Tuesday — her 27th born day — calling it “the lamest day of the year.” He pulled the…
John Mayer: Everything About Taylor Swift is Lame!
John Mayer must be seething with jealousy, because his ex-girlfriend, Taylor Swift, is waaayyyyy up here.
John Mayer … well, he’s hanging out waaaayyyyy down there.
In an internet tirade seemingly directed at his majorly famous ex, Mayer said, “Tuesday, December 13 may be the lamest day of the year, conceptually.”
While it could very well have been innocuous enough, Mayer suspiciously pulled the tweet down either realizing his snafu, or realizing that the douche was strong within.
If you were caught unaware, December 13 is Taylor Swift’s birthday.
Swift has also long credited the number 13 as her “lucky” one.
Previously Swift has said, “The significance of the number 13 on my hand.”
“I paint this on my hand before every show because 13 is my lucky number; for a lot of reasons,” she revealed.
“I was born on the 13th. I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. My first album went gold in 13 weeks.”
“My first number one song had a 13-second intro,” she said.
13 is a very, very significant number to Taylor Swift, apparently, and it might not be easy for her to just quit it.
And speaking of quitting things, Mayer and Swift’s parting didn’t come easily, either.
The song “Dear John” was about John Mayer, which included lyrics like “Wonderin’ which version of you I might get on the phone tonight.”
“Well I stopped pickin’ up and this song is to let you know why /Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone.”
“Don’t you think I was too young /To be messed with? /Maybe it’s you and your sick need /To give love then take it away.”
“And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand /And I’ll look back in regret how I ignored when they said, ‘Run as fast as you can.’ “
Super intense, right?
Mayer might well have deleted the tweet, but as he should know, the internet never does.
And if Swift herself catches wind of this, we’re not in for a tweet, but a real treat: you know there’ll be some kind of “Dear John II” to come out of all of this.
See? Everybody wins — Mayer preserves his “integrity” by not having the actual tweet out there, we get a new Swift song, and Taylor gets to make money.
As for why he did it, who knows.
Taylor Swift’s squad and toadies filled up the interwebs with birthday wishes and life accolades all over the place yesterday.
Perhaps that was the reason Mayer thought he’d add his particular brand of praise to the chorus.
Little did he know — or, hey; fully did he know — he picked the wrong day to call “lame.”
Frankly, to us, it sounds like Mayer wanted to get his name in the headlines again.
And not for wearing terrible hats and playing Big Sky Cowboy in Montana with all of his horsies.
Well played, sir; well played.
Monday, October 24, 2016
Drake -- Taylor Swift, Katy Perry & John Mayer ... No Bad Blood at My 30th Bday (PHOTOS + VIDEO)
Drake celebrated his BIG 3-0 Sunday night with a stacked guest list who put their differences aside, namely exes Taylor Swift and John Mayer, as well as Katy Perry. Taylor rolled into Delilah in WeHo flanked by squad members…
Sunday, October 23, 2016
John Mayer: My Latest Victim ... Demi Lovato!
John Mayer, legendary skeezoid lothario, apparently has his sights set on Demi Lovato, who’s had a rougher than rough few years.
What is it about troubled young women that gets Mayer’s motor running like this?
We don’t know, but it’s creepy and disturbing as hell.
Poor Demi Lovato can barely settle on a hair color for more than a week, and Mayer’s got a racist penis.
When you put the two of those together, it’s definitely bad news for everyone involved (and even those who are just simple fans of humanity).
Us reported that the two were spotted looking terribly chummy at West Hollywood nightclub, Catch L.A.
If that doesn’t make your breath catch in your throat, it’s probably because you’re already passed out on the floor due to extreme distress.
“John had his arm around Demi and was whispering sweet nothings into her ear,” the source revealed.
“Nothing” is probably a good word for it, because anything that comes out of John Mayer’s mouth – music included – should be filed under “nothing.”
“She was into it,” the source continued.
“They weren’t making out or anything, but she was giggling the whole time.”
Seriously? Sick!
Though the mag reported that the two entered separately, and left the same way, that doesn’t mean that John won’t eventually get his way.
The two reportedly were stuck like glue for more than an hour, and Mayer was said to have dropped one of the corniest lines of all, and said that Demi “has one of the greatest voices.”
Mayer and Lovato have a history of stroking the other’s ego.
In 2009, John tweeted something about Demi Lovato and her music and brilliance and blah blah and talent, and Demi returned the favor by calling him her “inspiration” and “idol.”
Gag us with a pitchfork.
Later the duo collabed on a song for Demi’s Here We Go Again album, and had more fawning things to say.
“John Mayer’s been a huge influence on me,” she said.
“His songwriting really inspires me.”
“I guess he heard I was a huge fan, and he sent me a letter,” she revealed.
Mayer would have been fawning over Lovato when she was 17, and him, 32, so yeah.
We’d give it a few buffer years before trying to buff Lovato if we were almost double her age at the time of initial contact, too.
“Then we ended up writing together.”
Well isn’t that a story for the grandkids.
Now that Lovato is done with Wilmer Valderrama, and Mayer’s … whatever he always is, perhaps the two can collaborate on more than just music.
Somebody pass the popcorn, yeah?
Monday, January 4, 2016
Katy Perry and John Mayer: Back Together For 2016!!!
We’re a few days into a new year, so a lot of the folks reading this are currently brimming with motivation and positivity, but sadly, most of you will eventually fall back into your old ways.
So why delay the inevitable? Why not make like Katy Perry? All you have to do is cut to the chase and kick off 2016 by repeating your worst mistake for the 4,000th time.
Yes, Katy and John Mayer ended 2015 with a bang, literally, as they were spotted having dinner together in Los Angerles, and then heading back to Katy’s place in separate vehicles.
The old taking two cars schtick didn’t fool the paparazzi, however, and Us Weekly is now reporting that Katy and John are back together.
We apologize for the confusing feeling of deja vu you’re experiencing at the moment.
John and Katy have reconciled many, many times before, and no, we don’t really have any idea if they’re actually dating or just making bedroom fireworks and exploring one another’s wonderland-like bodies.
The singers appeared to briefly be an item again last summer, but several sources reported that Mayer dumped Perry in July as part of a pattern that these two are seemingly doomed to repeat until the end of time.
But hey, it’s a new year, so maybe John and Katy are a new couple, right?
Sure. Hey, let us know when you drop that extra 20 pounds, quit Facebook, finish your novel and start volunteering, won’t you?
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