We probably don’t need to tell you it’s a strange and difficult time in these United States.
It’s a time in which many Americans feel that institutions that we’ve relied upon since the dawn of our republic may not be with us much longer.
We’re talking, of course, about the most beloved and historically significant symbol of the best this nation has to offer: Taylor Swift’s squad.
There was a time, children, when the #squad seemed nigh indestructible.
These days, however, the once-merry band of singers, models, actresses, and Kendrick Lamar is suffering a crisis in leadership from which it may never recover.
Taylor is lying low after a series of PR nightmares; Lena Dunham is out here killing dogs or whatever; and despite the fact that she’s back in the news in a big way thanks to her long-awaited second album, Lorde hasn’t been spotted with any fellow squad members this year.
Now it seems we know the reason for that:
She simply doesn’t roll deep with those peeps anymore.
Asked by an Australian TV host about what it’s like to party with a bunch of A-listers the Kiwi Vampire Queen set the record straight:
“I don’t hang out with these people at all,” Lorde responded.
The host – obviously chagrined by the news that Lorde doesn’t spend her weekends guzzling rosè out of a 30-foot swan-shaped ice luge in Taylor’s Connecticut backyard – at first refused to believe his guest:
“You’re part of Taylor’s squad, all the magazines tell us,” said the host.
Again, Lorde was dismissive:
“You know, you make friends in different places, but I think for the most part I’m not like, calling my idols for advice necessarily,” she replied.
We’re surprised the host didn’t open a vein on the spot and end it all.
Eventually, he’ll recover from not being able to live vicariously through a 20-year-old pop singer, but will his life still have meaning?
It will not.
Of course, the big question now is – why doesn’t Lorde roll with her famous homies anymore?
Is it because she’s simply decided the A-list life isn’t for her?
Or does it have something to do with her comparing Swift to an autoimmune disease?
We won’t know until Taylor releases a scathing diss track on the subject.