Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Russell Brand: I Want Katy Perry Back in my Life!

Katy Perry’s disastrous hosting of the VMAs may have American Idol producers in a panic, but there’s at least one person who’s entered into a relationship with Katy who doesn’t regret it.


Remember when Katy was married to Russell Brand? And when he told her that he wanted a divorce via text message?


Well, now he’s decided that he wants to reconcile. 



Katy Perry’s marriage to Russell Brand wasn’t one of those lightning-fast Hollywood marriages where all that it takes is a few months to realize that off of the set or sober or whatever, they can’t stand each other.


No, these two were married for 14 months.


Not long, by marriage standards.


(Even in Hollywood)


What was truly sensational about their breakup wasn’t that it happened soon or late.


It wasn’t even particularly explosive.


No, what was absolutely ridiculous was that, on the 31st of December, 2011, Russell Brand texted to Katy Perry that he was divorcing her.


Again, this was in a text message.



The reasons behind the split?


It wasn’t building animosity. It wasn’t abuse. It wasn’t some torrid affair.


It was that, thanks to both of their careers and schedules, Russell Brand just thought that it was no longer practical for them to be married.


And apparently he somehow reached the conclusion that the best way for the two of them to part ways was to let her know the same way that a roommate lets another know that they’re running low on toilet paper, or coming home with a friend from work so now might be a good time to put on pants.


(I love text messaging, but — and take this from someone who’s found out about deaths over the phone and also had to break that kind of news — some conversations need to happen in person)


You’d think that, understandably, Katy Perry could have raged about their breakup and gotten some well-deserved sympathy.


Instead, she’s stated facts about their split and she’s written songs about the breakup, but she hasn’t roasted Russell Brand as many might have done.


She’s even made it clear that she was in love with him when they married.


Russell hasn’t bashed Katy Perry, either. Which is good, because he really has no standing to.


(Plenty of people have the high ground to say what they want about Katy Perry, but Russell Brand will never be one of those people)



Now, in an interview with Grazia, Russell Brand says that he doesn’t regret their marriage.


And then he keeps on talking.


“It was a very important and lovely time in my life. I don’t regret being married to Katy at all.”


That’s something.


A lot of people, post-divorce, pretend that they were never in love and that the whole thing was a mistake.


“I have very positive feelings about that whole experience and Katy is an extraordinary woman.”


Well, of course he does.


She’s one of the most gorgeous women on the planet.


And he’s the one who ended things on a sour note the moment that he sent her that text.


“I’m willing and open for reconciliation, any kind.”


Reconciliation is Katy Perry’s thing to open herself to, my buddy, my guy. The wronged party gets to announce when it’s time.


Then comes the worst line of the whole thing:


“Because if we can’t overcome our relatively trivial personal disputes in this world, what hope is there for us?”



Yes, he just said referred to their complicated relationship baggage as relatively trivial.


Isn’t that so typical of a rich male celebrity to not realize how in the wrong he’s been?


But you know what?


It’s been nearly 6 years, now.


If Katy Perry decides to let bygones be bygones, that’s her business.


If she were asking our advice … we’d ask if it’s worth it to her to have him in her life. If it would outweigh the old hurt feelings that his presence would dredge up.


(We’d also ask how he fares in her famous sexual rankings; that might be a factor)


But Katy Perry doesn’t ask for our advice. Understandably.



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