Every time we think Scott Disick has hit rock bottom, he somehow burrows deeper, like some sort of intrepid, alcoholic miner in search of a mother-lode of reality TV ratings at the center of the Earth.
But hey, Americans love a good comeback story, and at this point, a comeback from Scott would be like if Apollo Creed literally came back from the dead to kick Ivan Drago’s ass at the end of Rocky IV.
Anyway, enough tortured analogies about how bad Scott has it these days.
The point is, in a life pretty much defined by effing up, the 34-year-old has been effing up worse than ever in recent months, and it may have finally cost him everything.
These days, Disick is not allowed to see his children, his baby mama won’t speak to him, and his health is reportedly failing rapidly following a bender of epic proportions.
But perhaps the surest sign that Scott is down and out is the fact that he’s finally been fired by Kris Jenner.
This is a woman who would split a bottle of pinot grigio with Zombie Hitler if she thought it would be good for ratings, so when Kris says you’re so far gone you’ve got to go, you know you’ve really done wrong.
But fortunately, Scott hasn’t lost faith in the Lord.
And by “the Lord,” of course, we’re referring to his own dumb nickname for himself.
Scott participated in the upcoming Keeping Up With the Kardashians 10 Year Anniversary Special (we guess it was filmed before he got the ax).
In a sneak preview from the special (which premieres on Sunday), Scott reveals that he still has feelings for Kourtney Kardashian.
And apparently, he still makes every effort to get into her good graces … or at least into her pants.
“She’s like the only person I’ve ever loved in my life,” Scott tells host Ryan Seacrest.
“I think she’s cute and stuff.”
When Seacrest asks Scott if he still hits on Kourtney, the Lord gives a characteristically blunt reply:
“Yeah, I try to f–k her like once a week,” he says.
And they say romance is dead.
Of course, this special was likely filmed several months ago, and it looks as though Scott and Kourtney are no longer on speaking terms.
But maybe he’s still trying to f–k her through email or something.
