Aaron Rodgers may have been sidelined with a broken collarbone for most of the 2017 NFL season, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t seeing plenty of action off the field.
In fact, it seems he spent a lot of time under center and had no trouble finding an eligible receiver.
Yes, that’s our extremely immature way of saying he was having sex … with none other than NASCAR legend Danica Patrick.
In some respects, these two are made for each other:
They’re both elite athletes who risen to the top of their respective professions.
And the timing couldn’t be better, as Rodgers broke up with Olivia Munn back in April, while Patrick parted ways with Ricky Stenhouse just last month.
But in one important way, this relationship is an abomination that should have Rodgers on his knees before a Vince Lombardi shrine begging forgiveness to the Gods of Lambeau Field.
You see, Danica was born in Wisconsin, but she’s a Bears fan, which already makes her some sort of Midwestern Benedict Arnold.
Now, she’s Bears fan who’s seen more Packer penis than anyone who gave their phone number to Brett Favre in 2007.
As a Bears fan from Wisconsin who’s dating a Packers legend, Patrick is some sort of double-double-crosser, and she should lose all her Midwest privilieges.
That means no deep-fried deserts, no quoting the movie Fargo, and absolutely no cornhole of any kind.
We kid, of course.
We actually love these two as a couple and we hope they sire many photogenic babies who are capable of appearing in the Super Bowl, the Indy 500 and a GoDaddy commercial starring Clay Matthews all in a single year.
The couple reportedly met at the ESPYs in 2012, where Patrick confessed her allegiance to Rodgers’ rival team.
It’s currently known how long they’ve been an item, but Patrick confirmed the relationship rumors in a recent interview with the Associated Press, saying simply:
“Yes, Aaron and I are dating.”
Asked whether she’ll be sporting a Cheesehead hat come September, Patrick gave an answer that’s sure to please the people of Wiconsin:
“I told him a long time ago I’d always root for him as a player,” she said.
“Now I am probably going to cheer for the whole team. Take out the word ‘probably.’ Now I’m going to cheer for the whole team.”
We won’t be convinced until she loses a finger to frostbite during a late-December home game.