If you’ve been anywhere near social media or a millennial in the past two weeks, then you’ve probably caught wind of the fact that Ariana Grande is engaged to Pete Davidson.
Fans have been obsessing over the news, and not only because one of the most famous musical artists in the universe is planning to marry a guy who was previously known to the public only as “that gangly guy from SNL.”
You see, Ariana and Pete’s relationship has been the subject of a great deal of suspicion, largely because these two are moving insanely fast.
Like, “relationship tattoos on the second date” fast.
Now, famous people do wildly impulsive things all the time.
It’s a natural result of rarely having to face any real consequences for their actions.
But Ariana is generally thought to be savvier than most young celebs, and Pete probably still works the Chuckle Hut in Staten Island every Tuesday.
In other words, they don’t seem like the types who would rush into an engagement after less than a month of dating.
(Especially since Ariana’s ring reportedly cost $ 93,000, which means Pete must now work for free as Lorne Michaels’ indentured servant until such time as his debt is repaid.)
So perhaps Pete and Ariana aren’t really rushing into things at all.
Perhaps they’ve been dating for much longer than anyone realizes and they only recently became free to gush about their relationship publicly.
You see, Ariana just broke up with Mac Miller in May, after more than two years of dating.
Around the same time, Pete abruptly ended his longterm relationship with Cazzie David.
As Refinery29 points out, it’s a situation that has fans donning their detective caps in hopes of sorting this timeline out:
As you can see, Twitter user Nicole Boyce has been putting in work, and her calendar confirms that Pete and Ari’s romance began under some seriously sketchy circumstances.
It looks as though Ariana dumped Mac, began spending a whole lot of time with Pete, and one week later — to the day, ladies and gentlemen! — Davidson broke up with Cazzie.
Does this mean Grande kicked Miller to the curb so she could devote herself full time to wooing Pete?
Or have these two been low-key hooking up ever since Ariana hosted SNL back in 2016, and Ari was just the first to sack up and kick her significant other to the curb?
Sadly, we probably won’t find out until one of them tells all in an angry post-breakup interview.
We’re not trying to be haters, but c’mon … relationship tattoos are a kiss of death 120 percent of the time.
