Hayes Grier Assures Fans: I"m Okay!!!

Listen closely. Do you hear that sound?

It’s the sound of millions of young teenage girls letting out a sigh of relief.

How come?

BECAUSE HAYES GRIER IS OKAY, FOLKS!

The Internet sensation still has a long road to go before he is in prime physical condition, but the 16-year old used social media on Friday to assure fans that he’s up for the challenge.

On Thursday, Grier was involved in a serious dirt biking accident.

It’s unclear exactly what went down, except that the crash took place in North Carolina and Grier’s brother was VERY concerned soon after it went down.

He tries to keep fans apprised of his sibling’s condition, but the concern came through loud and clear from Nash Grier.

“He can move & talk (thank god) but he’s coughed up a lot of blood. That’s all I know,” Nash originally Tweeted, later adding:

“Praying he has a quick recovery… Damn I hate hearing s–t like that on the phone, scared me to death.”

But now Hayes has taken to Twitter to calm both his brother down and his legion of followers down.

“Doing good guys, little banged up but we’ll be alright. Part of having fun,” Grier wrote along with the photo above, which was obviously snapped of him in the hospital.

In a subsequent message on Twitter, he added: “thank you for the good wishes.”

In addition to his own social media, Hayes re-Tweeted a number of media reports about his crash.

Soon after word spread that Hayes had been injured, the hashtag “#PrayForHayes” proceeded to spread on Twitter.

It’s understandable why.

Just 16, Grier has amassed 3.53 million Twitter followers… 5.3 million Instagram followers… 4.4 million Vine followers … and 848,000 YouTube subscribers.

Hayes had been back home in North Carolina, filming his new comedic docs-series, “Top Grier,” when the accident occurred.

The program centers around him returning to Mooresville, where he attempts to run his family’s 19-acre farm.

It is schedule to consist of 12 half-hour episodes that can be viewed on Verizon’s Go90 via mobile devices.

He competed on Season 21 of Dancing with the Stars (see below) and made it to Week 7.

We wish him a speedy recovery!

President Obama Assures Veteran: I Am NOT the Lead Singer From Korn!

On Wednesday, the nation celebrated Veterans Day, and numerous public figures took time to thank the men and women of America"s armed forces for their service.

Yesterday, as part of the White House"s week-long tribute to our nation"s troops, President Obama presented Army Captain Florent Groberg with the Medal of Honor – and dropped a bombshell that"s certain to shake the world of American politics to its foundation.

In his speech, Obama shared the following account of the first time he met Groberg:

"He woke up on a hospital bed in a little bit of a haze. He wasn’t sure, but he thought that he was in Germany, and someone was at his bedside talking to him And he thought that it was the lead singer from the heavy metal band Korn.

"Flo thought, "What’s going on? Am I hallucinating?" But he wasn’t, it was all real…And so, today, Flo, I want to assure you that you are not hallucinating. You are actually in the White House, those cameras are on, I am not the lead singer from Korn."

Obviously, this statement is outrageous for a number of reasons.

For one thing, President Obama (if that is your real name), it was your duty to inform the American people that you"re not the lead singer of Korn before we twice elected you to the highest office in the land!

What if those votes were based on your innovative vocal stylings on "Freak On a Leash"?

Also, Korn was really more of a rap-rock outfit than a "heavy metal band."

It"s an important distinction, because – as indicated by the correlation between the release of Ben Carson"s hip hop track and his rise in popularity – the American people want a president who can spit bars, son.

Frankly, we don"t know what to believe anymore.

All this time, Donald Trump"s been calling for Obama"s birth certificate, when all we really needed to do was take note of the President"s conspicuous lack of gold records and shiny Adidas track suits to know we"d been had.