Thursday, May 12, 2016

Paris Hilton Is Making Yet Another Documentary About Herself, No One Cares

Remember that time you turned to your friend and said, “there aren’t enough great documentaries about socialites with zero interpersonal skills…?”


Well, you’re in luck, because America’s least-favorite heiress is taking part in a documentary about her life.



According to Entertainment Weekly, filming will begin in Ibiza next month, featuring interviews with Hilton in which she will “discuss her rise to fame, reflect on how the spotlight has contributed to the person she’s become and examine the impact her image has had on young women today.”


The news was announced yesterday at the 2016 Cannes Film Festival, where the title is being shopped around to international buyers.


“Paris Hilton is a modern day Marilyn Monroe — beautiful, iconized, world famous, shaped by mass media and misunderstood,” co-directors Don Argott and Sheena Joyce said, per Variety’s initial report from the festival.


“We are thrilled to work with Paris to explore her complicated relationship with the public, the press and the politics that shape our perception of a modern celebrity.”


Hilton’s heydey has long since passed, having been overtaken by her former best friend and minion, Kim Kardashian.



Back in the early 2000s, Hilton more or less created the concept of being “famous for nothing,” accepting 5-6 figures for merely showing up at a club or party.


Hilton has, however, managed to create lucrative businesses, including handbags, fragrances and shoes, and now performs as an international DJ.


Her career really took off when she and (yet another) former friend Nicole Ritchie starred on The Simple Life on Fox;  It was a clever concept at the time, plopping two spoiled rich girls in a rural American town to see how they adjusted.  It also highlighted the insanely wide gap between the country’s poor and rich.


Will people watch the documentary?  Is it just another version of 2008’s Paris, Not France?


Stay tuned.  Or don’t.  You do you.

Kylie Jenner: Furious Her Family Is Paying More Attention To Blac Chyna!

Everyone, make sure you’re extra sweet to Kylie Jenner, because she’s feeling like everyone cares more about her older brother and his baby news than her and her super-dramatic personal life.



JK.  Get over it, youth.


While the rest of the family is sucking it up and wishing Rob Kardashian’s fiance, Blac Chyna all the best, Kylie is “absolutely heartbroken” that all attention is being paid to her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.


Sources recently told Radar Online that  “Kylie is totally trying to play the victim role right now and has been in isolation since she found out that Blac was pregnant.”


The thing is, no one in her family GAF that she’s pouting (we think.  Her facial expressions as of late have been tough to read.).  


They’ve all accepted the fact that Rob has found love and he’s building a family with Blac.


“She cannot believe that this has happened and is absolutely astounded at how fast it all went down!”


Apparently, Kylie was really jonesin’ for that happily ever after every teenage bride dreams of.  Unfortunately, reliable sources told TMZ that she and Tyga, 25, broke up a few days before the MET Gala.



“All Kylie ever wanted from Tyga was a ring and a baby and now that Blac Chyna has this from her own brother she is just completely shut down,” the source said.


“She told her mother this and Kris is basically just like, ‘Shut up Kylie.’” 


Kris Jenner has really grown on me, ever since she mocked Kim Kardashian for her 72-day marriage.


Anyhoo, back to Bratty Jenner.


“Kylie just feels like no one is listening to her and that everyone is just kissing Rob’s a** because they want him to stay on the right path, which he has been.”


Kylie is 18.  She has absolutely no idea what she wants.  You’d think she would be used to being ignored, considering she has five older siblings (and that’s not counting her dad’s four other children).


Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: Is It Finally Over?!?

First, Kylie Jenner and Tyga.


Now, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.



As previously reported, Kylie and Tyga have finally broken up, for real this time, following over a year of dating.


But that news will quickly get bumped from the front page if the latest In Touch Weekly cover story proves to be accurate…


… because it claims Kim and Kanye are also over!


The feature screams about DIVORCE and BETRAYAL between the couple, alleging that a bodyguard who worked for Kimye is revealing “everything.”


We’d be skeptical about this claim no matter what, but that bodyguard is named Steve Stanulis.


We’ve already been over how he only worked for the couple on two occasions and how he was certainly not privy to any major secrets.


He also once worked as Chippendales dancer, which doesn’t automatically discredit the guy. But it doesn’t make it any easier to believe him, either.


The tabloid goes on to wrote that Kardashian and West’s “marriage is finally over after a constant stream of faking happiness.”


An anonymous, totally real and legitimate “insider” supposedly tells the publication:


“Kim has consulted with divorce lawyers and is close to having papers drawn up.”


WHOA! That would be huge news… if true.



It’s worth noting that this same magazine said in July of 2014 that Kim and Kanye were splitting after 58 days.


But the famous tandem has blown that prediction out of the water. The’re working on, like 1,058 days at the moment. Give or take some days.


Math was never our strong point.


But our BS Detector remains pretty strong.


And we’re calling BS on this cover story!


Say what you want about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (please!), but the couple actually does seem in love. We think they’re in it for the long haul.


Kim Kardashian and Kanye West: Is It Finally Over?!?

First, Kylie Jenner and Tyga.


Now, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.



As previously reported, Kylie and Tyga have finally broken up, for real this time, following over a year of dating.


But that news will quickly get bumped from the front page if the latest In Touch Weekly cover story proves to be accurate…


… because it claims Kim and Kanye are also over!


The feature screams about DIVORCE and BETRAYAL between the couple, alleging that a bodyguard who worked for Kimye is revealing “everything.”


We’d be skeptical about this claim no matter what, but that bodyguard is named Steve Stanulis.


We’ve already been over how he only worked for the couple on two occasions and how he was certainly not privy to any major secrets.


He also once worked as Chippendales dancer, which doesn’t automatically discredit the guy. But it doesn’t make it any easier to believe him, either.


The tabloid goes on to wrote that Kardashian and West’s “marriage is finally over after a constant stream of faking happiness.”


An anonymous, totally real and legitimate “insider” supposedly tells the publication:


“Kim has consulted with divorce lawyers and is close to having papers drawn up.”


WHOA! That would be huge news… if true.



It’s worth noting that this same magazine said in July of 2014 that Kim and Kanye were splitting after 58 days.


But the famous tandem has blown that prediction out of the water. The’re working on, like 1,058 days at the moment. Give or take some days.


Math was never our strong point.


But our BS Detector remains pretty strong.


And we’re calling BS on this cover story!


Say what you want about Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (please!), but the couple actually does seem in love. We think they’re in it for the long haul.