Thursday, May 11, 2017

Donald Trump Slams Stephen Colbert: I Saved His Career!

When Stephen Colbert began hosting his own show back in 2005, he was playing a character.


The “Stephen Colbert” of The Colbert Report was a puffed-up, right-wing, bile-spewing egomaniac who embodied everything loathsome about American politics. 


When Colbert left both the show and the character behind to fill David Letterman’s CBS time slot back in 2014, fans worried that no one else would be able to so deftly highlight the absurdity of political extremism in 21st Century America.



Little did we know the 2016 election held in store.


These days, your daily dose of “what in the actual f–k?!” is brought to you by the president himself, Cheeto Face McTeensyHands.


It feels like if you tune out even momentarily you miss another jaw-dropping example of Donald Trump proving he’s woefully unqualified not only for the presidency, but for any position that requires regular participation in polite society.


This week’s lowlight was Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey, a move so blatantly corrupt that even the Richard Nixon Presidential Library has been getting its shots in.




Nixon Library Quote


But of all the people taking shots at Trump, it seems it’s Colbert who’s most effectively gotten under the president’s Day-Glo skin.


Back on May 4, Colbert joked about the very friendly relationship between Trump and Vladimir Putin, and it seems Trump has spent the past week crafting his response.


As usual, he choose “unhinged ravings of a lunatic” as his medium:


“There’s nothing funny about what he says,” Trump told Time magazine today.


“And what he says is filthy. And you have kids watching. And it only builds up my base. It only helps me, people like him. The guy was dying.”



That’s around the time when a remotely sane person would stop talking, but this id the President of the United States we’re talking about!


“By the way they were going to take him off television, then he started attacking me and he started doing better. But his show was dying,” Trump went on.


“I’ve done his show. … But when I did his show, which by the way was very highly rated. It was high highest rating. The highest rating he’s ever had.”


Yes, apparently Donald Trump has delicate the sensibilities of a Southern belle and he just faints dead away at the utterance of the mildest profanity.


So next time Melania wants him to shut the hell up, she just play a tape of Donald’s conversation with Billy Bush.



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Chilli from TLC Says All Lives Matter, and Twitter Can"t Deal

Remember when TLC was the ultimate in girl groups, when songs like “Waterfalls” and “No Scrubs” were the songs of a generation?



According to Twitter, those days are officially over.



See, in a new interview, TLC’s Chilli and T-Boz (RIP Left Eye) were asked about the Black Lives Matter movement, and if they felt strongly about it or attended any marches.


Chilli answered with “I personally didn’t go into any marches, or anything like that, but for me, all lives matter, you know what I mean?”


If you’re not aware, it’s important to note at this point that responding to anything about Black Lives Matter with “all lives matter” is seriously frowned upon by many, many people.


“There is a time when different groups are targets for different things,” Chilli said to further explain her stance.


“So I just think that, just the whole … you know … what happened with the police brutality against these young black boys and stuff like that, all of that kind of stuff is wrong, even if it was a caucasian teen kid that this was happening to or whatever.”



“It’s just not right.”


She added that perhaps people in positions with authority should be subject to more thorough background checks, and a “mental stability kind of check” to see if they’re fit for that kind of work.


Interestingly enough, the ladies were also asked about Donald Trump, and T-Boz said that she doesn’t care about him.


“God is my president,” she said, “so I just feel sorry for the people it affects, but I don’t care about him.”


As an American, T-Boz, you’re the people it affects. Girl.



Right, so TLC did this bizarre interview, then Twitter found out about it. And it did not go over well.


“Please stick to the rivers and the lane that you’re used to,” one person tweeted in an adorable play on the lyrics to “Waterfalls.”


Another savagely wrote “The caucasian scenario Chilli made up doesn’t happen, so she’s canceled, & I’m glad Usher cheated on her, music wouldn’t be the same.”


“How are TLC, proud pioneers of social consciousness in the 90s, gon’ be so ignorant on the Black Lives Matter movement,” one sad soul wondered. “Beyond disappointed.”



A patient Twitter user took the time to explain “Chilli has missed the point. We know all lives matter. The title is supposed to be sarcastically ‘Black Lives Matter TOO."”


As for the late, great Left Eye, one person that she is “rolling in her grave. She would never.”


What a mess.


Are you as troubled by TLC’s comments as the rest of the internet seems to be?



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