President Donald Trump has a new golf buddy … Peyton Manning. The two hit the links together at Trump National Golf Club in Virginia on Sunday — along with Republican Sen. Bob Corker from Tennessee (same state where Peyton played his…
Monday, June 5, 2017
Vladimir Putin to Megyn Kelly: Get a Life, Loser!
When he’s not stoically stroking a cat or swivelling in a chair to reveal himself to a captured foe, Russian President Vladimir Putin likes to keep up appearances as the democratically elected, non-villainous head of a functioning industrialized nation.
That means occasionally conversing with reporters, despite the fact that it would be so much easier to put their heads on spikes outside the Kremlin as a warning to others
On Sunday night, Trump foil turned Fox News refugee Megyn Kelly interviewed Putin on her new 60 Minutes-esque weekly newsmagazine.
Not surprisingly, Putin was his usual petulant self, bristling at questions about Russia’s alleged collusion with the Trump administration, and seemingly at all times one subtle head nod away from having Kelly dragged off to a Siberian work camp.
“You have created a sensation out of nothing,” Putin replied when asked about charges of Russia hacking the DNC and meddling in the 2016 election.
“And out of this sensation you created a weapon of war against the president,” he said, referring to Trump. “You people over there … good job. Your lives must be boring.”
Yes, Vlad just went full Regina George and basically asked Kelly why she’s so totes obsessed with him.
To her credit, Kelly pressed on and asked the real-life Bond villain about the alleged pee tapes starring Trump and some Russian hookers.
Okay, she didn’t use the word “pee tapes” but she did ask if Russia has incriminating information that it’s using to blackmail Trump:
“Well this just another load of nonsense,” Putin replied.
“Where would we get this information from? There was a time when he used to come to Moscow but, you know, I never met him. Do you think we’re gathering information on all of the [Americans visiting Russia on business].
“Have you all lost your sense over there?” he concluded, really piling on the rhetorical questions in not-at-all-super-suspicious fashion.
This is some top-notch gaslighting, folks.
The good thing about engaging in the kind of cartoonish supervillainy that sounds ridiculous when you describe it out loud is that all you have to do to defend yourself is say it out loud.
It’s a tactic that’s probably been employed by evildoers throughout history.
“Riiiiight, I’m brainwashing you into worshipping me as a Christ-like figure so that I can convince you to commit a series of brutal murders in hopes of igniting an apocalyptic race war,” we imagine a young Charles Manson telling his followers.
Clearly, Vlad has learned from the very best bad guys.
Ciara"s Sunday Fun Day with Future Jr. (PHOTO)
Ciara’s back in the spotlight … this time on mommy patrol. The singer and her son, Future Jr., enjoyed some sun and a little water gun action at a beach park Sunday in Seattle. It’s the first time we’ve seen Ciara out in public in just over a…
Kylie Jenner: Look at My Boobs, Not My New Lips!
It looks like Kylie Jenner’s back at it again.
Not just with social media pics — well, that too — but it looks like she may have gotten a little work done.
A little more work done, anyway.
We know that we’re supposed to be looking at her boobs here, emphasized as much by that white top as by her seatbelt.
But our eyes keep darting to those lips.
They don’t just look plump, they look painfully full.
Kylie’s admitted to overfilling her lips in the past, but we guess that she hasn’t learned from past mistakes.
Though … really, if she learned from past mistakes, we all would have forgotten who Tyga was in, like, 2015.
If only.
These lips don’t just look big, they look painful.
Anyone who’s ever microwaved some chicken apple sausage — because who has time to cook with an oven? — can easily imagine those lips bursting open under pressure.
We keep touching our lips and wincing at that pic, you know?
It’s one thing to inflate your lips too much for taste.
But it’s another thing to make them look so big that it’s hard to close your mouth..
Regular, non-painful big lips look good.
You don’t have to follow fashion magazines or even put that much thought into the faces that you find attractive to do that.
Just, like, go to the character creation screen of any video game — the better looking faces are gonna have the lip size sliders pretty far to the right.
As far as fashion is concerned, yeah, you have to grudgingly admit that Kylie’s been a part of people worrying so much about having big lips.
Just like the Kardashians as a whole have been influential in the conversation about butt sizes.
But isn’t to say that they deserve credit.
See, the Kardashians seem to be all about cultural appropriation.
From putting their hair in dreads or cornrows to trying to claim ownership over bodily features associated with black women, the Kardashians are what you’d call problematic.
And while Kendall Jenner, when she’s not starring in tone-deaf Pepsi controversies, usually just does her modeling thing instead of raiding African-American culture and claiming the spoils as her own, Kylie is a major offender.
We might not be saying this if we thought that her curves were 100% grass-fed free-range organic, because your body shape is your body shape.
But … come on, guys.
Kylie’s figure is such an hourglass that you expect a movie villain to dramatically turn her upside down to begin a countdown.
The lips are such a big thing, because when the good folks at Black Twitter blow off some steam, it’s not uncommon to hear them look at white celebrities who are being praised for their looks and wonder where that star’s lips are.
Which is, you know, a harmless critique, and Kylie “fixing” her own lips might not be a big deal if she didn’t then use them to market her own lip products.
As if big lips are a Kylie thing. It’s kind of like how the white cheerleaders in the movie Bring It On always stole the routines of the black cheerleaders.
And the thing is that, despite the probably millions of words written on the subject of Kylie’s very specific antics, she’s probably not even aware of it.
Celebrities exist in a bubble, folks.
To Kylie, any well-conceived criticism on social media probably gets drowned out by random vitriol until it all just looks like “haters.”
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