Joe Jackson’s been taken to a hospital after a car accident near the Las Vegas strip … TMZ has learned. Law enforcement sources tell us … Joe was a passenger in a black Jaguar when it T-boned a red SUV. MJ’s father walked into a Panda Express…
Friday, June 30, 2017
27 Times Fortune Cookies Just Plain Failed
Look.
We don"t eat fortune cookies because they taste particularly great.
Heck, sometimes we don"t even eat fortune cookies after opening them.
We really just want to read the message inside of these Chinese food treats, which is what makes the following fortunes so disappointing.
As you"re about to find out, they very clearly failed their excited reader at the time they were perused. Big time.
1. This is Not a Fortune
Unless you’re telling us that we’re about to get attacked by a bear.
2. This IS a Fortune
But it’s also just a way of saying that Chinese food is sort of a rip off.
3. For the Record:
Flying is not simple. And this is not funny!
4. Run Where?!?
Away from a bear, we assume.
5. And If We Don’t?!?
What will you do to us, huh?
6. But It Told Me To Pick Another Cookie
And then I did. And it said this. I am SO confused.
Jackson Roloff is a Major #LadiesMan" in Precious New Pic
Look out, women of the world…
… Jackson Roloff is coming for you!
So jokes Tori Roloff is an adorable new photo of the very young man, who strikes more than just a passing resemblance to his famous father in the snapshot below:
“We’re in trouble… #ladiesman,” penned Tori as a funny caption to this photo, which features Jackson making a cute face while wearing a precious hooded sweatshirt and looking far older than his six-plus weeks.
The child was born on May 12 to Tori and Zach, making him the very first grandson for Amy and Matt Roloff, the parents of four children and stars of TLC’s Little People, Big World.
Ever since this blessed occasion took place, Tori and Zach have talked candidly about their bundle of joy.
They haven’t shied away from the fact that he was born with the gene for dwarfism, speaking to People Magazine last month about the challenges this entails.
“You have to encourage a dwarf child a little more because it will take them five steps to do what others can do in two,” Zach has explained.
Afflicted with the same condition as his son, Roloff went on to say that he knew there was a fifty percent chance Jackson would be a dwarf, but obviously that never stopped him or Tori from wanting to procreate.
“I knew, dwarf or not, I was going to parent my child with the mentality that not everyone gets a trophy. You have to earn it,” he said a few weeks ago.
Men with Zach and Jackson’s gene, achondroplasia grow to an average height of 4’4″.
They enjoy a normal lifespan, but babies may have breathing problems, along with delays in muscle development.
Thus far, thankfully, Jackson appears to be happy and healthy.
On this Tuesday’s Season 13 finale of Little People, Big World, viewers got to go behind the scenes of his birth.
We witnessed Tori being understandably nervous about her impending C-section, while Zach was as comforting as a father and husband could be.
In the end, everything went smoothly and a new family member entered the world.
Jackson has already attended a soccer game and been introduced to his uncles and aunt.
Even Jacob Roloff, who has distanced himself from his relatives and who quit the reality series last summer, has stopped by the Roloff farm to meet and greet little Jackson.
And he’s clearly smitten.
“Love bein an uncle so far. Love Little Man,” wrote Jacob as a caption to the following photo in early June:
Jackson better take advantage of all this attention while he can, however.
Audrey and Jeremy Roloff are expecting their first child in September.
Look for early Season 14 episodes of Little People, Big World to center on Audrey’s pregnancy and eventual delivery.
This means that Jackson won’t be the only baby in the family any longer, but just take a look at the precious pictures below.
We have a feeling his family members will still find him pretty irresistible and cuddle-worthy…
Shakira Lands In Argentina for Messi"s Mega Wedding
The private jets are landing in Argentina for the wedding of the year — soccer superstar Lionel Messi tying the knot to his childhood sweetheart … and Shakira’s on the guest list. The singer and her soccer star husband, Gerard Pique, touched down…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)