If you were lucky enough to catch the Rolling Stones during their most recent US tour, then you can attest to the fact that Mick Jagger hasn’t slowed down much with age.
And apparently, the legendary singer’s preternatural youthfulness isn’t limited to the stage.
Back in June, the world learned that Jagger is expecting his eighth child with Melanie Hamrick, his 29-year-old ballerina girlfriend.
“Mick was at the hospital for the arrival,” reads a statement from Jagger’s publicist.
“Mother and baby are doing well and we request that the media respect their privacy at this time.”
Jagger already has seven children, ranging in age from 45 to 17.
We’d make a joke about Jagger changing diapers at an age at which most seniors are preparing to have their own diapers, changed, but let’s be honest:
Mick Jagger has never done anything more than wave a sassy finger in the direction of a soiled Pamper.
Jagger has not yet publicly commented on the good news, nor have his older kids:
Georgia, James, Jade, Elizabeth, Lucas, Karis and Gabriel.
Despite his prodigious procreation, Jagger was married only once, to Bianca Jagger, mother of his daughter Jade.
Not surprisingly, the news inspired some hilarious observations on Twitter.
Some highlights:
“Fact of the day: Mick Jagger now has a child who is younger than his great-granddaughter.”
“Just when you think the world’s gone crazy you find out Mick Jagger had a baby with a 29-year-old ballerina & everything makes sense again.”
“Some people think Mick Jagger is too old to have children, while others are Mick Jagger.”
You get the point.
Obviously, it’s easy (and fun) to crack jokes about the situation, but we’d like to take a moment wish Mick, Melanie, and their new bundle of joy all the best.
However, we’d also like to make an important suggestion:
Mick, it might be time to retire “Satisfaction” from the Stones’ setlist.
You can’t sing that song without irony when you’ve had eight kids with five different women over the course of five decades.