As you’ve no doubt heard by now, the New England Patriots beat the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI last night, coming from 25 points down to to earn the first overtime victory in Super Bowl history.
If you don’t live in Boston and you’re not the President of the United States, there’s a good chance you’re a bit bummed by the results of the game, as the Pats are a widely hated team that’s loved by widely hated people.
Unfortunately, there were no Sad Ben Affleck reaction shots last night, but we did get to enjoy news of Mark Wahlberg being a premature sore loser.
Yes, the Pats eventually cruised to an anti-climactic victory, but throughout much of the evening, things were looking pretty bleak for Tom Brady and company.
So bleak, in fact, that Mark Wahlberg decided to peace out on the proceedings in the third quarter.
Not surprisingly, Mark took a good deal of flak on social media for committing one of the cardinal Bostonian sins.
(Lack of faith in Tom Terrific is right up there with correctly pronouncing the word “car.”)
But Mahky Mahk maintains that he had a perfectly good reason for bouncing early, and it had nothing to do with the score, okay?!
“I had to leave the game early because my youngest son wasn’t feeling well,” Wahlberg wrote on social media last night.
“Trust me, I would have loved to be at the stadium — but family first. Doesn’t mean I don’t love my Patriots too!”
Look, we’re not saying Mark’s lying about his son not feeling well.
We’re just saying that had the game not been shaping up to be a blow-out in the Falcons’ favor, he probably would’ve worked out some arrangement where his wife took his youngest home and he stayed at the stadium with his other kid.
But hey, at least Mark’s not alone in his fairweather fandom.
Witnesses say Donald Trump left his Super Bowl party when it was looking like the Pats were in the process of getting buried by Atlanta.
Of course, we can’t really blame him on that one:
If we were wearing a suit and sitting at a conference table with Reince Preibus, we’d probably be eager to call it a night, too.
Unlike Mark, the president didn’t offer an excuse for why he packed it in early.
No word yet on whether Mark’s come up with a suitable excuse for the time he blinded a guy in a racially-motivated hate crime.
Yup. We went there.