If you’re a fan of Teen Mom 2, then you Kailyn Lowry is pregnant with her third child, and she’s been less than forthcoming with details regarding the identity of the father.
Social media has been abuzz with theories as to who Kailyn’s baby daddy might be, but no conclusive evidence has emerged.
However, it looks like we now know the reason for all the secretiveness:
You see, Kailyn isn’t quite sure who the father is.
Yes, in a move that stunned fans, the Teen Mom 2 star posted a photo of famed paternity sleuth Maury Povich on Instagram.
Lest we fail to pick up on the symbolism of the cryptic shot, she added a lengthy caption explaining her situation:
“Everyone has been wondering who my baby’s father is, so i decided to finally fill you guys in,” Kailyn wrote.
“It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I actually don’t have the answer to that question.”
Kailyn says she downloaded Tinder after getting divorced from Javi Marroquin, and she “never quite mastered the art of swiping left.”
“I was planning to wait until the baby arrived to sort it out,” Kailyn wrote.
Explaining that she hadn’t planned to rely on traditional methods of paternity testing, she instead worked out her own method:
“Like, it’s gotta be one of a few dudes, right? I figured if the baby was really good at producing TV segments, I’d just assume it was J.C. Cueva.”
“If he showed an early talent for entering other people’s homes without permission, then that would prove the kid is Javi’s.”
Sounds like iron-clad reasoning to us!
Kailyn says she had her mind made up to just wait it out, but pressure from fans led her to recruit some top talent in order to get to the bottom of the mystery.
“You guys win! I’m sick of everyone taking guesses when I don’t even know the answer myself,” the 25-year-old wrote to fans.
Never one to let a personal obstacle pass without capitalizing on a potential side hustle, Lowry’s making the most of this one.
“So I’ve decided to go on Maury, where I’ll reveal the results of a pre-natal paternity test.”
This sounds like an all-out ratings bonanza waiting to happen, because the potential candidates will reportedly all be on hand.
“All 11 potential dads will be on the show, and they’ve been working on some dope dance routines for when they find out they’re not the dad.”
“Unfortunately, one guy won’t get to show off his moves!”
We’re not really sure how to process this. It’s a lot to take in.
Does Kailyn really not know who the father of her third child is?
Is she actually going on Maury?
Did we just make this whole thing up as an elaborate April Fools’ joke?
We think you know the answer to that last question.
#FakeNews
