Farrah Abraham … well, goodness knows she tries.
She tries to be eloquent, she tries to be thoughtful, she tries to communicate in a way that makes sense.
She just always, always fails.
When we see Farrah on Teen Mom OG, she has such trouble expressing herself, and she often misunderstands what other people try to tell her.
When we see her do interviews, she really strives to be intelligent and insightful, but that’s just not who she is. That’s not in her skill set.
It’s a rare occasion that we have to see something she’s actually written — as you can imagine, that’s an especially tragic experience.
And unfortunately, it’s an experience we’re facing today.
See, Farrah has been working hard on building up a business for her daughter, Sophia.
She’s getting her into acting and modeling, and she recently opened up a children’s boutique for her to “run.”
Right now, she’s getting the website for the store up and running, and in doing that, she wrote a nice little thing called “Our Story” for the About section.
Well, she tried to make it nice. It didn’t really turn out that way.
And that’s because, as it turns out, the girl just is not capable of writing. At all.
Farrah’s story begins with “Sophia Laurent is the owner of this celebrity children’s boutique, at age 7 Sophia loves to shop and create for exclusives and awesome toys, clothing and accessories for boys and girls from new born to 12.”
It’s not great, but hey, at least we know what she’s trying to say, right?
“Sophia was born on MTV Network and her shows continue to be on the network in many other countries Poland, Canada, United Kingdom’s, Africa and much more,” Farrah continues.
And that’s where it all falls apart.
For one, Africa is not a country. For two, “United Kingdom’s” … United Kingdom’s what? Did she mean to name countries in the United Kingdom?
Does she think there are multiple United Kingdoms, and she just got confused with how to make it plural?
Oh, honey.
She goes on to write “Sophia Laurent believes in every child has a voice and sky is the limit for any child any age and we hope to make every child whom walks in our store feel special like a king or queen.”
Right, right.
Things are similarly awful for the rest of the story, until Farrah gets to the end, when she … you really just have to see this madness for yourself.
“Sophia’s biggest fan her mother Farrah Abraham top female celebrity in our nation continues to grow the inventory, customer service and success of the children’s boutiques plan of expansion.
Atrocious grammar aside, does Farrah sincerely believe that she is the “top female celebrity in our nation”?
Forget all the huge movie stars, like Meryl Streep, Sandra Bullock, and Julia Roberts, or newer, immensely popular actresses like Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone.
Don’t even think about naming any beloved singers like Taylor Swift or Beyonce.
No, the top female celebrity in our nation is for sure, beyond the shadow of a doubt, Farrah Abraham.
Just … bless her heart.
