Monday, August 7, 2017

Rihanna: Nearly Nude, Probably Not Pregnant

Last month, rumors that Rihanna is pregnant began to make the rounds on social media.


The reports seemed to be entirely based on a handful of troll-ish d-bags looking at recent photos of RiRi and deciding she looks like she’s knocked up.


Based on her latest Instagram photo we’re go ahead and offer our own opinion:



If she is pregnant, it’s way too early in the game for some Internet jackwagon to make that assessment by looking at a damn photo.


Ms. Fenty is in Barbados at the moment, and as you can see, she decided to bless the island nation with the sight of her in … some sort of bejewled peacock bikini thing.


We’re not really sure what you call that, but we know that it’s worthy of two very enthusiastic thumbs up.


Rihanna is in Barbados to perform at the Grand Kadooment, the celebratory conclusion of the famous Cropover Festival.


Whenever she returns to her native country we get some incredible photos, but this year’s might take the cake.


Anyone can go to Barbados and snap some epic sand and surf shots, but not everyone can decorate their cleavage like comething Liberace might imagine on LSD.



For obvious reasons, the photos have prompted many re-posts, along with captions about how your “fav” could never pull this look off, because for some reason, fandom is a competitive thing in 2017.


Anyway, for many folks it’s been a tough year with a lot of frightening stuff in the evening news.


So feel free to take comfort in the fact that it looks as though Rihanna will be continuing to show off her curves for the foreseeable future.


Maybe someday she’ll get pregnant.


Hell, maybe she’ll really get pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s baby.


(Remember when that was a rumor. Never change, Internet.)



But for now, it doesn’t look like there are any Baby RiRis in the offing, and there are a few facts you can hang your hat on:


1. Rihanna looks amazing in whatever that thing is that she’s wearing.


2. Hassan Jameel is a lucky man.


3. We should all move to Barbados immediately.



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