Showing posts with label Baffles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baffles. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Meghan Markle: Latest Wardrobe Malfunction Baffles Entire World

Before she married Prince Harry, Meghan Markle could do no wrong.


Now that she’s been saddled with a royal title, however, it often seems that she can do nothing right.




To be clear, nothing about Meghan’s behavior has changed.


It’s just that now she’s expected to meet the standards of a bunch of stuffy, pearl-clutching royal traditionalists every time she leaves the house.


As a result, headlines about Meghan breaching royal protocol are not uncommon these days.



Of course, these breaches are generally quite tame, such as the time Meghan’s curtsy was not up to the standards of some Brits.


Even the reports of Meghan’s “wardrobe malfunctions” are generally pretty lame.


The Royals have really delivered in the accidental nudity department in the past, such as when topless photos of Kate Middleton made their way across social media.


But with Meg the British tabloids get all fussy over stuff like this:




Meghan Markle Wardrobe Malfunction


This is like a game you might find on a child’s placemat at an especially perverse family restaurant: Find the Wardrobe Malfunction!


Give up yet?


Part of the problem is that you probably spent too much time focusing on the breastal region. 


We’re not perv-shaming you; that’s just one of the most common areas for clothing snafus.




Meghan Markle Wardrobe Malfunction 2


This time, however, the glitch was much further south — and much, much less interesting.


As you can see, Meghan has some splotches on her tights.


That’s it.


Seriously, there are people on social media trying to make a big deal out of it.



Granted, it’s puzzling — how did those splotches get there?!


But the answer is probably something disappointingly pedestrian, like someone spilled a cup of coffee or Meghan stepped in a puddle.


There was a time when spilling your drink on a Duchess was enough to earn you a trip to the guillotine, but sadly, the Brits don’t behead people for clumsiness anymore. Snowflakes.



Some folks have pointed out that Meghan didn’t wear pantyhose before she got married, which means the tights are likely a concession to the royal family’s penchant for ultra-conservative attire.


But we doubt Meghan just went around spilling drinks on her feet in the pre-Harry era of her life.


Maybe that’s one of the more underappreciated ways in which royal life is stifling — you can’t even walk around with wet feet!


This has been another installment of Ridiculously Boring Wardrobe Malfunctions, starring Meghan Markle. 



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Sunday, November 6, 2016

What Time Is It? Daylight Saving Time 2016 Ends, Baffles America Again

In a shocking, literally unprecedented turn of events, Daylight Saving Time 2015 came to a close and shook a nation to its core this morning.


Millions of rattled American citizens were left reeling.


Scrambling, desperate and wondering what the hell just happened, a nation turned to its phones and asked the million-dollar question:


“What Time Is It?”




Fall Back!



Did you remember to fall back?!


Seriously. Trending topics on the web Sunday morning include the likes of “Daylight Savings Time,” “What Time is It?” and “Local Time.”


It’s chaos out there.


Fortunately, The Hollywood Gossip is here to help make sense of it all. Here’s how we got to this point and what you need to do next:


Earlier this morning, for the first time since March 2015, U.S. residents (Arizona, Hawaii and P.R. excluded … lucky) set their clocks forward.


By one hour exactly.


Jaws? Dropping.


Just breathe, people.



Everybody just calm the f–k down.


We know this is a real challenge, but we have got you covered and we promise, we can navigate this mine field and get through it together.


Alright. Now. Down to business.


To keep you on an emotionally even keel amid the pandemonium, we put together a helpful visual guide to Daylight Saving Time 2016 …




Fall the F--k Back



There you go.


A few moments ago, your life was in shambles. Now you’re fully in control of things again. Don’t ever say we didn’t do anything for you.


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