Shia LaBeouf Dumps Mia Goth for FKA Twigs

Folks, get ready for a twisty tale with some strange names and even stranger hairstyles.

It’s been a while since we checked in with our old friend Shia LaBeouf, and in news that should surprise absolutely no one, things are still very weird in the Beef’s corner of the world.

Thankfully, Shia no longer thinks he’s Tupac, and as far as we can tell, he hasn’t been arrested for groping any strangers in a while.

But that doesn’t mean he’s finally found a modicum of stability in his life.

In fact, quite the opposite is true.

If you haven’t been keeping track of the Lynchian soap opera that is Shia’s life, you may have been under the impression that he’s still married to Mia Goth.

Sadly, that’s no longer the case.

In fact, no one is quite sure if Shia and Mia were ever legally wed, as they were married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator.

In any event, the Beef-Goth union is no longer, and Shia has moved on with none other than FKA Twigs.

You might be familiar with Twigs’ music, or you might remember her from when she dated Robert Pattinson.

There was a time when it was rumored that Pattinson and Twigs were engaged, but these days, she and LaBeouf are officially dating. 

Apparently, The Daily Mail recently conducted a brief interview with Twigs “through the intercom of her home” (?!?!?), and the songstress confirmed that she and LaBeouf are indeed an item:

“We’re very happy, we’re having a nice time,” said the disembodied voice of Twigs.

Apparently, Mia is the last to know about the relationship, and she’s still under the impression that she and Shia are on a break:

“Everybody in their circle knows that Mia and Shia are separating,” an anonymous friend tells the Mail.

“She’s spending her time between London and New York while he’s currently in London. Mia had been having some problems with Shia. It was a very crazy relationship and he is very fiery.

“She has told her friends that she can’t take any more. When he was preparing for a part, Mia would keep away from him and move out because his rehearsals were so intense.”

It’s anyone’s guess as to where this is all headed, but one thing is for sure — unless you’re reading about Game of Thrones or the NFL, you’re not gonna see this many bonkers names in one article.

We’ll keep an eye out and let you know if Barkevious Mingo and Equanimeous St. Brown start hooking up.

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Shia LaBeouf -- Doggin" It with New Wife Mia Goth (PHOTOS)

Newly hitched couple, Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth, took their bulldog out for some family fun this weekend. Shia and Mia were spotted at a dog park in L.A. with their boy, Brando … just days after their quickie Vegas marriage. Shia’s wedding band…

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Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth: ENGAGED!

It’s been a bumpy road for Shia LaBeouf and his aptly-named gal pal Mia Goth, but apparently the pasty pair has decided to commit to one another for the long haul.

Yes, according to TMZ Mia was spotted rocking some engagement bling while strolling around LA hand-in-hand with Shia yesterday.

It’s a surprising move, as it was just last summer that Shia was accused of assaulting Mia and then fleeing the scene before police arrived. 

Not surprisingly, Goth and LaBeouf broke up shortly thereafter.

They were apart for so long that Shia briefly dated someone else, but rumors of LaBeouf and Goth getting back together began to circulate back in October, and it looks like the troubled actor recently decided to seal the deal by putting a ring on it.

The couple has been together (on and off, obviously) since 2012, and LaBeouf recently started referring to Goth as his fiancee in interviews.

Of course, given the actor’s long history of intentionally misleading the public, no one really believed that he and Goth were engaged until Mia was spotted with the lavish evidence on her finger.

So our congrats go out to LaGoth! May you two enjoy many happy years together, and may Shia keep his insane temper in check!

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Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth: Back Together?!

Last week, Shia LaBeouf was arrested in Austin for being, drunk, disorderly and douchey while partying in the city’s famous 6th Street bar district.

LaBeouf was released on bail, and likely won’t face jail time, but it was the latest in a long string of public embarrassments for the once-promising actor. 

Just a few months before his most recent brush with the law, a vicious fight between LaBeouf and girlfriend Mia Goth was captured on video by an onlooker.

The incident left Mia with a black eye, and not surprisingly, Goth and LaBeouf broke up shortly thereafter.

The consensus was that Mia made the right call in distancing herself from the increasingly-troubled Shia.

Now, however, it looks as though the actress has decided to give LaBeouf a second chance.

Several sources are reporting that she and Shia were spotted walking hand-in-hand in LA yesterday. We know that you’re thinking: People walk in LA?!

Seriously though, it looks like Goth and LaBeouf are an item again, and as awesome as they’re hyphenates name would be if they got married, we’re still hoping Mia comes to her senses.

We know some women are attracted to “bad boys,” but we’re pretty sure Shia has crossed the line into “dangerously mentally ill” boy.