Ben Affleck Comes to Senses, Dumps Shauna Sexton

Last night, the Boston Red Sox triumphed over the New York Yankees in the American League Divisional Series. 

All over the New England region, inebriated fans engaged in all manner of impulsive behavior, giddy with the possibility of their flagship city taking home its 47 bajillionth championship in the past 20 years.

But Ben Affleck can’t drink anymore so he just dumped his girlfriend.

We kid Beantown Benny, of course.

We give the guy all the credit in the world for committing himself to the hard work of getting sober.

That said, we’re about to gently slow roast him like a side of pork because that’s how we show love around here.

As you’ve probably heard by now, Affleck checked into rehab for the third time last month.

Though he didn’t always seem to take his treatment all that seriously — Ben was in the habit of leaving the facility to work out at his home gym every day — he stuck it out and even stayed on longer than initially intended.

We don’t know what kind of program Ben is working, but it seems he just reached the “drop all the excess baggage you picked up during your last bender” step.

According to People magazine, Affleck has broken up with Shauna Sexton, the 22-year-old Playboy model he briefly dated before checking into a treatment center last month,

“There was nothing to split from as it has been casual,” a source tells the magazine.

“He enjoyed being with her but is working on himself, and being together with her at this time is not something that works,” the insider adds.

“He will date in the future, but for now his focus is on his sobriety, family and his next project.”

All joking aside, it sounds like focusing on his family and sobriety is the best thing Ben could be doing at the moment.

Upon leaving treatment, Affleck issued a heartfelt statement filled gratitude and optimism:

“The support I have received from my family, colleagues and fans means more to me than I can say. It’s given me the strength and support to speak about my illness with others,” the Oscar winner wrote.

“Battling any addiction is a lifelong and difficult struggle,” Affleck continued.

“Because of that, one is never really in or out of treatment. It is full-time commitment. I am fighting for myself and my family.”

We wish Ben and his family all the best.

We can’t say the same about the Red Sox, who will hopefully go down in humiliating fashion in the ALCS.

View Slideshow: 31 Celebrities Who Have Been to Rehab

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Shia LaBeouf Dumps Mia Goth for FKA Twigs

Folks, get ready for a twisty tale with some strange names and even stranger hairstyles.

It’s been a while since we checked in with our old friend Shia LaBeouf, and in news that should surprise absolutely no one, things are still very weird in the Beef’s corner of the world.

Thankfully, Shia no longer thinks he’s Tupac, and as far as we can tell, he hasn’t been arrested for groping any strangers in a while.

But that doesn’t mean he’s finally found a modicum of stability in his life.

In fact, quite the opposite is true.

If you haven’t been keeping track of the Lynchian soap opera that is Shia’s life, you may have been under the impression that he’s still married to Mia Goth.

Sadly, that’s no longer the case.

In fact, no one is quite sure if Shia and Mia were ever legally wed, as they were married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator.

In any event, the Beef-Goth union is no longer, and Shia has moved on with none other than FKA Twigs.

You might be familiar with Twigs’ music, or you might remember her from when she dated Robert Pattinson.

There was a time when it was rumored that Pattinson and Twigs were engaged, but these days, she and LaBeouf are officially dating. 

Apparently, The Daily Mail recently conducted a brief interview with Twigs “through the intercom of her home” (?!?!?), and the songstress confirmed that she and LaBeouf are indeed an item:

“We’re very happy, we’re having a nice time,” said the disembodied voice of Twigs.

Apparently, Mia is the last to know about the relationship, and she’s still under the impression that she and Shia are on a break:

“Everybody in their circle knows that Mia and Shia are separating,” an anonymous friend tells the Mail.

“She’s spending her time between London and New York while he’s currently in London. Mia had been having some problems with Shia. It was a very crazy relationship and he is very fiery.

“She has told her friends that she can’t take any more. When he was preparing for a part, Mia would keep away from him and move out because his rehearsals were so intense.”

It’s anyone’s guess as to where this is all headed, but one thing is for sure — unless you’re reading about Game of Thrones or the NFL, you’re not gonna see this many bonkers names in one article.

We’ll keep an eye out and let you know if Barkevious Mingo and Equanimeous St. Brown start hooking up.

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Miranda Lambert DUMPS Evan Felker Because He "Broke Her Rules" (Report)

Well, folks, it’s late August, which means all over the country, summer romances are coming to a bittersweet end.

Most of the lovers parting ways this week are camp counselors who hooked up out of boredom or college students eager to hurry back to the campus meat market after three months of fitful sleep on some townies’ sweaty futon … but even celebrities aren’t immune to the rush of an ill-advised hot-weather fling.

So it was that Miranda Lambert and Evan Felker started dating, despite the pesky fact that he’s married to someone else.

But after months of tabloid headlines accusing Miranda of being a “homewrecker,” Lamber and Felker have officially called it quits.

News of the split comes courtesy of Miranda’s latest print interview, in which she copped to being newly single:

“Love is a hard road sometimes and it’s been a roller-coaster ride for me, but I’m definitely thankful for all the ups and downs because I’ve had some really good songs come out of it,” Lambert told The Tennessean.

“You’ve got to take the bad parts and put them on paper and then move on to the happy parts.”

Insiders confirmed the breakup, claiming that Felker had violated one of Lambert’s clearly-defined rules:

I don’t think it was a dramatic split, but he knew what he was ‘allowed’ to do based on her rules and he broke them,” one source tells People magazine.

“He did something that he knew she wasn’t going to approve of, she assumed he did it and he didn’t deny it.”

While it’s always sad when a relationship comes to an end, for Miranda this situation is more lining than dark cloud.

From the very start, her romance with Felker was a PR nightmare with claims that Lambert, largely due to the fact that Felker’s wife, Staci Nelson, refused to just quietly go away.

Instead, she shared her story with her ever-growing Instagram following, and Miranda didn’t exactly come away smelling like a rose.

Things seemed to come to a head earlier this month, when Nelson accused Lambert of stalking her.

It was also around that time that Felker and Nelson finalized their divorce.

“Staci very much believes in marriage and very much wanted hers to work,” says the source.

“Lucky for her, the breakup happened a few days after the legal process was over and she felt no obligation to take him back.”

We’re guessing Evan is currently wondering what he can do to win Staci back.

Good luck with that one, fella.

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Halsey Dumps G-Eazy, Hints That She Caught Him Cheating

Well, it’s official.

After a year of dating, singer Halsey and rapper G-Eazy have officially called it quits.

Halsey stunned fans by making the announcement on Instagram earlier this week.

“I normally keep this kind of thing private but provided our public nature I feel the need to inform my fans,” the 23-year-old wrote.

“G-Eazy and I are taking some time apart. I’m eager to continue the upcoming passage of time dedicating myself to my art and career, and the duration of my tour.”

She added:

“I wish him the best. Thanks for respecting our privacy at this time.”

It was a typical boilerplate amicable breakup announcement — but it wasn’t along before Halsey complicated the situation with a cryptic tweet:

As fans were quick to point out, “pumpkin eater” is generally preceded by the words “Peter, Peter” or “cheater, cheater,” and unless Halsey was watching Family Guy or dreaming of Dinklage at the time of the tweet, the former doesn’t really make sense.

The singer didn’t speak up to set the record straight when fans started speculating that this was her way of suggesting G-Eazy had been unfaithful.

And this seems to be a situation in which her silence speaks volumes.

Whatever the case, Halsey wasted no time before posting a “revenge body” bikini pic on the ‘Gram.

Of course, her followers might be reading into this one too deeply.

It’s hotter than Satan’s taint in most of the US right now, and really, anyone who’s outdoors wearing anything more than swimwear this week is clinically insane.

So it’s possible Halsey simply decided to post a photo in which she’s wearing a bikini, and there’s no vengeful motive behind it.

It’s also possible that we’ve devoted entirely too much thought to a Halsey bikini photo.

Anyway, despite the fact that the couple enjoyed collaborative success with the hit single “Him & I,” members of Halsey’s inner circle are reportedly thrilled about the split.

It seems some were opposed to the relationship from the start, and their feelings only intensified after G-Eazy was arrested for assault and possession following an altercation in a bar back in May.

Besides, couple duets are great, but we all know the real money is in breakup songs.

View Slideshow: 19 Most Bitter Breakups in Hollywood History

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Mackenzie Standifer Quits Social Media, Dumps Ryan Edwards?!

Mackenzie Standifer has put up with an awful lot during her brief marriage to Ryan Edwards.

But now it seems she may have finally become fed up with his many awful tendencies.

Ever since Ryan was arrested back in March, he and Mackenzie have both been laying low on social media.

But now, Standifer has taken things a step further.

She appears to have quit Instagram completely, and some Teen Mom OG fans believe they"ve picked up on subtle signs that she and Ryan are no longer together.

Here"s what we know so far:

1. Happier Times

In the wake of his March arrest for a probation violation, Mackenzie initially stood by her man. Unfortunately, that was just the beginning of Ryan’s downfall.

2. Repeating a Pattern

The day after the arrest, it was revealed that Ryan had been using an online dating profile to try and cheat on Mackenzie. It was not the first time he had done so.

3. It Gets Worse…

That same week, the public learned that Ryan’s ex, Maci Bookout, had been granted a restraining order after revealing that Ryan had threatened to kill her husband.

4. A Painful Separation

There was a time when Ryan wasn’t even allowed to make contact with his son, Bentley. A judge has since lifted that order of protection, but Ryan’s vistation rights remain in jeopardy.

5. The Future

It’s unclear what’s next for Ryan. He could still be facing jail time, and he’s in for a hell of a custody battle with Maci.

6. Mackenzie’s Next Move

Mackenzie is five months pregnant with Ryan’s baby (his first, her second), and fans have been encouraging her to kick him to the curb. Now, it seems she may have done exactly that …

View Slideshow
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Mackenzie Standifer DUMPS Ryan Edwards Following Arrest, Cheating Scandal?

The hits just keep on coming for Ryan Edwards, who"s currently rivaling Adam Lind as the most troubled baby daddy in the Teen Mom franchise.

Last week, Edwards was arrested for allegedly violating his probation by skipping a scheduled drug test.

Shortly thereafter, the world learned that Edwards had used Tinder to try and cheat on his long-suffering wife, Mackenzie Standifer.

Sadly, all of this happened within days of news that Mackenzie is pregnant with Ryan"s child.

So perhaps it should come as no surprise that Standifer has finally had enough…

1. A Troubled Marriage

Mackenzie and Ryan had trouble from the start, but their marriage has recently gone downhill much more rapidly than anyone could have expected.

2. A Bad Omen

Teen Mom OG fans will likely never forget the sight of Ryan losing consciousness while drivng to his own wedding. The scene prompted many viewers to warn Mackenzie about the dangers of entering a marriage with Edwards. Now, it seems their worst fears have been confirmed.

3. Downward Spiral

Last week, Ryan was arrested in Tennessee and held on $ 5,000 bail for an alleged probation violation. The probation stemmed from an April 2017 arrest for heroin possession.

4. A Misleading Statement?

Mackenzie addressed the matter publicly in a way that only left fans more confused. She insisted that Ryan was taken into custody simply so that he could be booked … one year after his initial arrest. She’s since been criticized for lying to the public, but it’s possible that Ryan lied to her.

5. The Truth Comes Out

Yes, for a full year, Ryan and Mackenzie kept the the news of his possession arrest a secret. It seems even Ryan’s baby mama, Maci Bookout, was kept in the dark. Maci has filed for an order of protection against Ryan after learning of his arrest and ongoing legal troubles.

6. And There’s More…

To make matters worse, Ryan got caught up in an entirely different sort of scandal just days after his arrest. This one involved allegations that he’d been unfaithful to Standifer yet again…

View Slideshow
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Jeremy Calvert Dumps Girlfriend We Just Found Out About

After months of keeping a relatively low profile, Jeremy Calvert is suddenly reminding Teen Mom 2 fans of his existence in a big way.

Most of the tabloid attention has had to do with Calvert’s social media attack on his Teen Mom 2 co-stars.

But in addition to Calvert’s most recent clashes with Leah Messer and company, he’s also making headlines for the latest developments in his tumultuous love life.

Back in September, Jeremy got back together with Brooke Wehr, a reunion that she celebrated by posting a nude photo of Calvert.

(Hey, everyone marks special occasions in their own way.)

That was probably the last update on Jeremy’s love life that most fans were aware of.

But it looks like a whole lot has changed in the past two months.

For one thing, Jeremy and Brooke broke up.

We’re not sure when, exactly, because Jer was uncharacteristically quiet about the split.

But at some point, he got involved in an entirely new relationship, this one with a woman named Kristen Blake.

Calvert announced the relationship just last week with a now-deleted photo of Blake.

“When true love comes together,” he captioned the image.

Sadly, it seems that “true love” was short-lived.

Earlier this week, Jeremy posted the above photo, along with a caption that many fans are interpreting as a breakup announcement.

“3 words that are way to loosely used now days and so easy to say to people. And I’m just as guilty as everyone else that says it for the most part,” he wrote.

Tellingly, Calvert disabled comments on the post.

It’s anyone’s guess what happened between these two, but the fact that Jeremy has been railing against infidelity lately might be significant.

“Dude if ur fucking married or engaged don’t send me fucking shit on here or snap chat like wtf. it’s killing me not to call u bitches out on here,” he captioned a recent post.

“Get ur shit together 99% of you have fucking kids and a family stop trying to fuck it up.”

Sounds like Jeremy is at his wits’ end these days.

As for whether or not his frustration has anything to do with his love life, we may never know.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online to relive Calvert’s many ups and downs.

View Slideshow: Jeremy Calvert BASHES Teen Mom 2 Co-Stars in Epic Instagram Rant!

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Christina El Moussa Dumps Doug Spedding Amidst Drug, Cheating Rumors

Let the Christina El Moussa and Tarek El Moussa reconciliation rumors begin again in earnest.

Okay, maybe not.

But the blonde-haired HGTV star is single once again after ending her relationship with controversial boyfriend Doug Spedding.

And for good reason, too:

An insider tells In Touch Weekly that Spedding had fallen back into his old drug habit, while he was also caught cheating on El Moussa with a former lover.

As a result of his crashing off the wagon, Spedding has agreed to seek professional help.

He has entered an in-patient rehabilitation facility for addiction issues, People Magazine also confirms, with a source saying the following:

“Christina supports Doug’s decision to seek treatment and remains in contact to support his recovery.”

Acknowledging the split without fully acknowledging the split, Christina took to Instagram Tuesday night and shared this message:

“There is no shame in beginning again, for you get a chance to build bigger + better than before.”

She added via caption:

“People can impact you in different ways … the important ones enter your life for a reason a season or a lifetime #keepthefaith.”

El Moussa actually knew and dated Spedding many years ago, long before meeting ex-husband Tarek,

They rekindled their romance after the El Moussa filed for divorce earlier this year, but multiple flags have been popping up ever since.

There was chatter in June, for example, that Spedding had been cheating on El Moussa, as Radar Online even published an alleged text message from Doug to a woman named Tracy in which he asks if she she wants to “f-ck right now.”

It’s unclear whether or not she was in the mood to do so.

But it’s very clear this was SO not cool of Spedding.

In 2011, meanwhile, Spedding was arrested for possession of a controlled substance after being caught with methamphetamine.

He subsequently completed a diversion program.

He also has a domestic violence arrest on his record and has been accused, multiple times, of fraud at his car dealership.

So El Moussa likely made the right call here in leaving Spedding behind.

We doubt she’ll actually get back together with Tarek, but the parents of two adorable kids remain on great terms.

They continue to film Flip or Flop together and will even be teaming up to produce new shows for HGTV.

“Working with Tarek comes easy for both of us,” El Moussa has said, adding last month:

“We have worked together for 12 years and we will continue to work and co-parent together. We have a lot of fun (both on and off camera) flipping houses.”

View Slideshow: HGTV Scandals That Rocked the Television World

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Rasheeda Frost Actually Dumps Husband! Finally!

At long last, it is over between Kirk Frost and Rasheeda Frost.

Following several months of rumors and innuendos, along with near-confirmation that Kirk both cheated on her and impregnated his mistress, the Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta star has finally seen the light.

Appearing on radio show Dish Nation on Monday, Rasheeda revealed to hosts Gary with da Tea and Porsha Williams that she and Kirk are taking a long break.

“We’re separated, and we’re working on making sure that we’re doing everything that we need to do for our family,” she said.

Rasheeda and Kirk share two kids together, a  four-year old son named Karter and a 16-year old son named Ky.

“We are parenting very well,” the VH1 star added, emphasizing of herself and her estranged husband:

“We have good communication. Two people trying to figure out the best thing to do for our children as far as making them comfortable, as far as him and I, that’s just what it is.”

News of this couple’s split really should not come as a surprise to anyone who has been following their saga on Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta.

A significant portion of last season was dedicated to the rumor that Kirk knocked up Jasmine Washington.

The star himself denied fathering Washington’s son, who was born last summer, while many wondered whether this storyline was concocted by producers because Jasmine was suddenly a full-time cast member on the series this past spring.

Whether or not Kirk cheated on Rasheeda with Washington, however, there’s no denying the fact that he has cheated on Rasheeda in the past.

Frost himself has admitted as much.

Still, Rasheea had stood by her man.

“Rasheeda should be able to see through his excuses but with Kirk she never sees clearly,” an insider told Hollywood Life in July, adding at the time:

“At the end of the day, she wants so badly to believe him.

“She still can’t wrap her head around him having a baby behind her back, she just can’t accept that he would lie to her that way.”

Will the Frosts ever reconcile?

You never know. They have been married for 17 years. That’s a very long time and strong feelings linger.

“I love Rasheeda to death,” Kirk said on the show’s reunion special this summer. “That is my soulmate. When you get yourself in a situation, you just get there. I just pray that it gets better.”

He’ll need to do a lot more than pray at this point.

He’ll need to buy out every florist in the area… and then some!

You stay strong and you do you, Rasheeda. You deserve better.

View Slideshow: Love & Hip Hop Cast Rankings: Who Can Actually Sing?

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Paramount Pictures Settles with Production Assistants Who Had to Take Dumps in their Cars

Paramount Pictures just anted up hundreds of thousands of dollars to a group of production assistants who say working conditions on some huge movies were so bad they were forced take craps in their cars. TMZ has learned, Paramount agreed to pay the…

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Joey Chestnut Celebrated Hot Dog Victory with Giant Dumps

To the victor go the soils …  Joey Chestnut — the man who gobbled 72 wieners and buns on July 4th — says he still feels like crap … even after taking one. Chestnut and Miki Sudo — who won the women’s title in Nathan’s Famous…

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Paris Jackson Dumps Michael Snoddy For Another Man!

Though just 18 years old, Paris Jackson has endured her share of ups and downs.

Paris has spent her entire life in the spotlight, and the world looked on as she mourned her father, struggled with substance abuse, and even attempted suicide.

Unfortunately, it seems that Paris’ love life hasn’t provided much in the way of solace or stability.

Until recently, Paris was dating Michael Snoddy, a 27-year-old drummer who had her family worried for a number of reasons.

In addition to the age difference, there was reason to believe that Snoddy was using Paris for her wealth and music industry connections.

On top of all that, Snoddy had been accused on more than one occasion of using racial slurs and expressing white supremacist views.

So yeah, Paris may have dodged a bullet when she ended that relationship.

Unfortunately, now fans are concerned by the speed with which she seems to have moved on to a new relationship.

Yes, it appears that Paris has moved on with a new man already.

It’s more than a little surprising, considering rumors that Paris and Snoddy were engaged were circulating around social media just a few months ago.

Neither party took any steps to deny the reports, either.

But Paris is well and truly over that relationship these days, and she wants the world to know she’s had zero trouble moving on.

Paris posted the below pic on social media last night, and as you may have guessed, the guy in the photo is not the unfortunately-named Mr. Snoddy:

The Guy With the Similar Neck Tattoo is named Tony Oller, and his Instagram reveals nothing about him other than the fact that he’s 25 years old.

So hey, at least Paris is moving slightly closer to her own age, right?

Anyway, fans immediately started speculating that Paris and Tony are dating, and once again, her silence is speaking volumes.

Yet again, Paris is doing nothing to dispute the rumor, which is being widely viewed as her way of confirming it.

So it’s yet another twist in a life that seems to be endlessly full of drama.

But hey, Paris seems happy, and with all she’s been through, that should be enough for her fans.

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Ex-Inauguration Announcer Charlie Brotman Scores New Gig After Trump Dumps Him (VIDEO)

Longtime inaugural announcer Charlie Brotman is pissed Donald Trump fired him from the post he’s held for 60 years, but tells us he’ll still be working come Jan. 20. The 89-year-old announcer, who’s MC’d presidential inaugurations since Dwight D.…

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Farrah Abraham Dumps Simon Saran, Shills Dating App

Remember last week when we reported that Farrah Abraham and Simon Saran are back together?

Well, it turns out the reconciliation only lasted about as long as Farrah’s porn career.

According to her latest Instagram posts, it seems Farrah and Simon have broken up once again.

Or at the very least, Farrah is pretending they’ve called it quits so that she can hawk a new dating app with the implication that she’s looking to get busy with the sad souls who download it.

Ms. Abraham posted the above photo yesterday, along with the following caption:

“I love this new sexy app for singles who like to go out.”

She went on to extol the virtues of Peeq, which from what we can tell is a Tindr-like app for those seeking no-strings-attached sex.

In another post, Abraham encouraged users to “find” her on the app.

Again, Farrah is the type who would encourage “sexy singles” to hunt her down even if she were involved in a committed relationship, so there’s no guarantee that she’s once again kicked Simon to the curb.

But whatever the case, she’s Instagram single once again, and in Farrah Land, isn’t that all that really matters?

No, it’s also worth noting that Farrah is looking more like a soulless blow-up doll every day and poppin’ bottles with a six-foot Pikachu for some reason:

The best part is that in the caption for this pic, she offers zero explanation for the presence of everyone’s favorite Pokemon.

Like so many things in Farrah’s life, it only makes sense to Farrah.

Just kidding, there’s no way she devotes the slightest thought to any aspect of her absurd existence.

Watch Teen Mom online to relive all of Farrah’s mist ridiculous moments.

Ozzy Osbourne DUMPS Mistress, Begs Sharon for Forgiveness!

Earlier this month, fans were shocked to learn that Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne had split after 33 years of marriage.

Sharon had put up with so much for so long, what could have possibly sent her over the edge at this late stage of the game?

The Talk host held nothing back.

She confirmed the split and the rumors that Ozzy was cheating with hairstylist Michelle Pugh over a tall glass of, you guessed it, lemonade.

Now, sources claim that Ozzy has ended his affair with Pugh in hopes that Sharon will take him back.

“His family is really important to him and he’s come to his senses,” a source told Page Six.

“Sharon is Ozzy’s whole life; he can’t manage without her.”

Funny how family suddenly becomes important only after someone is caught cheating.

According to the insider, the affair with Pugh lasted about six months, which Sharon caught wind of after looking through Ozzy’s e-mails.

Last week, we reported that Sharon was already meeting with divorce lawyers to make the end of their marriage official.

However, the new source claims Sharon will drag her feet.

“She’ll wait months,” said the insider.

“It’s a huge decision with a lot of moving parts, so she’s going to see how everything shakes out before deciding what she wants to do and what is best for their kids.”

Still, others suspect Sharon orchestrated the entire thing as a publicity stunt to garner interest when Ozzy goes on a reunion tour with Black Sabbath next month.

And given that Sharon’s been so open about everything, well, let’s just say Kris Jenner would be proud.

View Slideshow: 17 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces EVER

Jenny Slate: Comedian Dumps Her Husband For Chris Evans?!

Actress and comedian Jenny Slate is one of those entertainers whom you’ve almost certainly seen before, but you’ve probably given little to no thought to her personal life.

Frankly, she probably preferred it that way.

But like it or not, Ms. Slate’s name is making the rounds in the world of celebrity gossip today thanks to a rumored love triangle involving none other than Captain America himself.

Sources say Slate and Chris Evans are a full-blown couple these days, which is odd, as Slate has been married to Dean Fleischer-Camp since 2012.

Apparently, Slate and Camp separated last week – not long after Slate and Evans wrapped filming on the upcoming drama Gifted.

In retrospect all the signs were there.

The actors recently gushed about one another during an episode of Anna Faris’ podcast:

“I didn’t know what to expect when I met Chris. I was a little scared because I kind of felt like, Well, I don’t know him. He’s a giant man with huge muscles and he’s Captain America. How could we ever connect?” Slate said.

“[But the] first night that we hung out, I was like, Wow, I could hang out with Chris for, like, 90 hours.”

Evans echoed the sentiment, saying, “Oddly enough, I’ve only known Jenny for a few months, which is insane to say because we’re like the same animal.”

In the past, Evans has been linked to Jennifer Lawrence, Elizabeth Olsen, Minka Kelly, and Sandra Bullock.

It may sound like he gets around, but friends say Evans is actually a serial monogamist who’s just looking for the right girl.

In any case, they may have started under sketchy circumstances, but we like Evans and Slate as a couple.

If for no other reason than Slate deserves more starring roles, and someone with Chris’ clout might be able to make it happen, we hope these two work out.

Taylor Swift DUMPS Calvin Harris Over His Love of "Happy Ending" Massages?!

Last month, Calvin Harris was spotted leaving a Thai massage parlor known for providing its clients with “happy endings.”

Taylor Swift was busy welcoming various celebrities on stage as part of her seemingly never-ending 1989 Tour, and it seemed that she wasn’t bothered by her boyfriend’s fondness for rub-and-tug establishments.

Now, however, Radar Online is reporting that Taylor quietly dumped Calvin over the weekend after realizing that there was more than just massages going on inside that parlor.

No stranger to cheaters, Taylor reportedly had her suspicions from the start, but Calvin was able to convince her that his $ 40-a-pop (tee-hee) sessions were no more unseemly than a visit to the chiropractors.

“When the photos got posted on Radar, said to him, ‘What the f–k?” says one insider. “He lied to her. He gave some bullish-t excuse that his masseuse was sick and he needed his shoulder worked on.”

As more facts came to light, Taylor reportedly realized that Calvin was just the latest in her string of philanderering boyfriends, and she firmly gave him the boot.

Sources say Harris has been desperately trying to fix the situation, but Taylor has remained firm in her insistence that it’s over.

“He wanted to fly in to see her [on tour] and repair things, but her assistant called gave her a firm ‘no,"” says one insider. “Instead he went to Vegas with his bros.”

That’s one way to get over being dumped.

Of course, we all know how Taylor handles breakups. Get ready to hear a multi-platinum song about what a piece of sh-t you are, Calvin!

View Slideshow: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris: So in Love!

Taylor Swift DUMPS Calvin Harris Over His Love of "Happy Ending" Massages?!

Last month, Calvin Harris was spotted leaving a Thai massage parlor known for providing its clients with “happy endings.”

Taylor Swift was busy welcoming various celebrities on stage as part of her seemingly never-ending 1989 Tour, and it seemed that she wasn’t bothered by her boyfriend’s fondness for rub-and-tug establishments.

Now, however, Radar Online is reporting that Taylor quietly dumped Calvin over the weekend after realizing that there was more than just massages going on inside that parlor.

No stranger to cheaters, Taylor reportedly had her suspicions from the start, but Calvin was able to convince her that his $ 40-a-pop (tee-hee) sessions were no more unseemly than a visit to the chiropractors.

“When the photos got posted on Radar, said to him, ‘What the f–k?” says one insider. “He lied to her. He gave some bullish-t excuse that his masseuse was sick and he needed his shoulder worked on.”

As more facts came to light, Taylor reportedly realized that Calvin was just the latest in her string of philanderering boyfriends, and she firmly gave him the boot.

Sources say Harris has been desperately trying to fix the situation, but Taylor has remained firm in her insistence that it’s over.

“He wanted to fly in to see her [on tour] and repair things, but her assistant called gave her a firm ‘no,"” says one insider. “Instead he went to Vegas with his bros.”

That’s one way to get over being dumped.

Of course, we all know how Taylor handles breakups. Get ready to hear a multi-platinum song about what a piece of sh-t you are, Calvin!

View Slideshow: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris: So in Love!