This claim never gets old…said no one ever.
If you’re writing up the story at Life & Style, you’ve convinced yourself that the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant again, to the point where you insist that a sticker be slapped on the cover to confirm the news.
A sticker declaring “The Official Announcement” does not a confirmation make.
Here’s how it happened (in the writer’s head): “Kate has told her immediate family she is in the early stages of pregnancy,” a source squealed.
“To be honest, it was an accident and total surprise. They hadn’t wanted a third child for a couple of years, but now that it has happened, she and William are thrilled.”
Like any parents expecting a fake baby, William and Catherine are “already excitedly discussing names for the little prince or princess.
“The favorites are Charles or Philip, after William’s dad and grandfather, and Caroline, after Kate’s mother [Carol]. They don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl because they already have one of each.”
Since the source must be either a doctor or a psychic (or both!), he or she pointed out that the pregnancy totes “won’t get in the way” of the Cambridge’s trip to India and Bhutan (which kicks off Sunday, April 10th).
Let’s pretend for a moment Catherine is with child. With her two previous pregnancies, Her Royal Highness was bedridden with hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness in which the mother cannot keep food or liquid down. It got so serious with Prince George in 2012 that Catherine was admitted to hospital.
Never mind that the Zika virus has prompted several married women to go on birth control until a cure has been discovered, but Kensington Palace would take the initiative and announce her pregnancy as they’ve done in the past, to keep the press from speculating.
Mom – if you’re reading this, Kate’s not pregnant. I don’t care what you saw in the check-out aisle of Roche Bros.
