Mike Perry is hoping for a second shot at a first impression with Jon Jones … ‘cause the UFC fighter was HIGH AS BALLS when the two met earlier this month — and he says Jon kinda hated him for it. The hilarious tale all went down after Mike…
Showing posts with label Accidentally. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Accidentally. Show all posts
Friday, August 31, 2018
Monday, July 23, 2018
Georgia Southern Student Accidentally Texts the N-Word to Black Roommate
A lot of discussion of racism these days centers upon politics at the highest level, institutionalized racist norms, and white supremacist violence. But individual racism is still alive and well in America.
That is what a black student discovered when her roommate accidentally sent a text message to her that was about her.
It featured an appalling use of the n-word. But the white student who sent it is desperately claiming that autocorrect is to blame.
This deeply unsettling story begins with a pleasant if somewhat anxious exchange via text messages.
“Hey Courtney! My name is Nwamaka,” the blue text bubbles say. “I wanted to introduce myself since I am going to be your new roommate.”
“Hey!” Courtney replies. “Did you just call me? So sorry lol my phone is on silent.”
Some people have their phones making noise all of the time and . . . I’m not sure how they stand it. That said, Courtney may have just been uncomfortable answering an unexpected call.
Nwamaka explains: “It was an accident!”
“Haha it’s all good,” Courtney replies. “I went to add you as a contact and I accidentally called you too.”
That is all well and good … until the next gray text bubble from Courtney.
“Her insta looks pretty normal,” Courtney writes. “Not too n—–ish.”
Yes, that was her using the n-word. With -ish as a suffix. We wish that she were saying needlefish or something, but no.
“OMG I am so sorry!” Courtney immediately wrote. “Holy crap.”
“Damn spell check,” Courtney says, blaming her phone’s autocorrect function for conjuring the literal worst word in the English language. “I did NOT mean to say that.”
Courtney then attempts to assure Nwamaka that she totally didn’t write the n-word.
“I was texting Hannah and I meant to say ‘triggerish,"” she claims.
Triggerish is, notably, not a word. People use new words all of the time (I say yeet at least three times a week), but it’s difficult to see how anything else makes sense in this sentence.
“Meaning like you seem really cool,” Courtney pleads. “Nothing that triggered a red flag.”
Uh, we sort of see that. Though there’s a huge hole in this argument still.
Courtney then says: “I am so embarrassed! I apologize.”
It was not Nwamaka who made the screencaps of their conversation go viral. That was her friend, Dajah Morrison, who was outraged over the texts that her friend received.
“Triggerish is not a word at all,” Dahah told WSAV. “The closest word to that is triggerfish. So for her to cover those things up, it just didn’t add up.”
Many have pointed out that there’s another layer to Courtney’s words.
Have you ever tried to write the word f–k on a phone for the past few years? Android or iPhone, it doesn’t matter.
Your phone is going to try to turn your word into duck. People commenting on this story have noted that, though they’ve had their share of autocorrect embarrassments, they’ve never seen the phone “correct” to a slur.
A lot of autocomplete or autocorrect style programs learn based upon a person’s writing habits. Some have said that, at best, Courtney is suggesting that she uses the n-word a lot in other conversations.
Which is … not much better.
As you can see in the attached image, Georgia Southern released a statement apologizing for the incident.
“The use of such racist comments is offensive and unacceptable and in no way reflects the attitudes or values of Georgia Southern University,” the letter says.
The statement continues: “To be clear, there is no place for bigotry or racism on our campuses.”
There is no mention of any disciplinary action being taken towards Courtney over her allegedly accidental slur.
For the rest of us, this is a great time to remember that those of us who are not black should not use the n-word. Not ending with an -er or with an -a.
Not in text messages. Not in conversation. Not on political signs. And no, not even when we’re singing along with music.
Sunday, June 3, 2018
Off-Duty FBI Agent Accidentally Shoots Someone While Dancing at Club
An off-duty FBI agent accidentally shot someone at a night club in Denver after his gun fell out of his holster and went off while dancing … but luckily the victim seems to be OK. The unnamed agent was getting his groove on early Saturday morning…
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Kanye West Says Slavery Was a Choice, Accidentally Spawns a Meme
On top of espousing his love for Trump, sporting a MAGA hat, and claiming to have "dragon energy," Kanye West decided to also essentially blame black people for slavery.
It did not go over well. At all. And neither did Kanye"s attempted explanation.
Since Kim Kardashian has insisted that this is not a mental health issue, and since mental health advocates are discouraging people from blaming mental illness for bad behavior, many are left to assume that Kanye is just … bad.
Or at least suffering from the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
After this latest claim, that 400 years of slavery was somehow a choice that black people made, Black Twitter was all over it.
In real life, people know that slaves were separated from their families, forbidden to read or write, forced to abandon their religions, shackled, and often mutilated as punishment.
But, in order to satirize the absurdity of Kanye"s claims, these hilarious tweets try to imagine a world where slavery somehow was a choice.
The results are much, much funnier than the very grim subject matter. Take a look:
1. Imagine clocking out of slavery
If slavery were a choice, many imagine that it would be similar to working today. Which can be less than fun, but definitely isn’t like real slavery.
2. So THAT was the secret!
The number that she chose is not random. It of course refers to the date of the Civil War.
3. Whoops!
If only real life had been so civilized.
4. Some imagined how they’d choose masters
“Slavecare” is a hell of an idea. Oh no, we hope that the writers of HBO’s trainwreck of a series “Confederate” don’t see this.
5. One "job" title was clearly coveted
Even slaves have varying levels of status. That’s a grim fact from history.
6. If it’s a choice, they could have said "no"
Again, if only the colonizers and slavers had been more civilized.
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Mike Tyson Accidentally Punched UFC Star Fabricio Werdum, "Almost Broke My Nose"
Things got a little TOO real on a Mike Tyson’s movie set — when the 51-year-old accidentally socked UFC star Fabricio Werdum with a REAL punch … and it almost shattered his nose! Mike and Werdum were shooting a fight scene…
Friday, January 5, 2018
Paris Hilton Leaves New Fiance On the Curb Accidentally
Paris Hilton’s new fiance has been relegated to precious cargo No. 2 — he was left eating dust after Paris and her $ 2 million engagement ring jumped into a waiting SUV. This video is hilarious … Chris Zylka was virtually kicked to the curb after…
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Ricky Williams Accidentally Calls Himself "the High Guy" On Live TV
Ricky Williams just handed out the most factual football analysis ever spoken — accidentally calling himself “the high guy” during a hilarious moment on a live TV broadcast!! Williams — who LOOOOVES pot — was giving his prediction for…
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Justin Bieber Accidentally Drives Into, Injures Photographer
Justin Bieber accidentally ran over a photographer as he left a church service in Beverly Hills … and the loud impact was captured on camera. Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping at a City Church event. He climbed…
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
The Bachelorette Ending: Accidentally Spoiled by Dean Unglert?
This might be old news to those of you who follow The Bachelorette Spoilers, but to most fans of the series, any hint of a spoiler is a huge deal.
Remember our heartbreak when Rachel Lindsay bid farewell to Dean Unglert, who totally should have made it to the show’s very end?
In a recent interview, it sounds like Dean Unglert, precious cinnamon roll that he is, may have accidentally spilled the beans about Rachel’s ultimate decision.
(Surely, though, he could do nothing wrong)
In an interview that reminds us all that Dean Unglert is probably not going to be the next Bachelor (because the world is a cruel, cruel place and life is torment and we will all succumb to entropy), Dean Unglert let something slip.
Because he talks about who he thinks should be the next guy to star on The Bachelor.
“Hands down, Peter Bachelor 2018.”
Whoa, there.
You can’t star on The Bachelor after winning The Bachelorette.
(Not unless there’s a whole messy sequence of events between those two)
Because, if Peter Kraus wins The Bachelorette, that would mean that he is Rachel Lindsay’s fiance and therefore has no business looking for another, different fiancee unless they’re doing a polyamorous approach to the Bachelor Nation.
This would seem to imply that Dean knows that Peter Kraus doesn’t win.
Bless him, he tries to cover for it.
“If that’s possible!”
Awwww!
He surely knows that it isn’t.
“I don’t know if he’s engaged or not. But I would gladly concede to Peter as next Bachelor.”
Now, we’re firm believers that Dean Unglert has done nothing wrong, ever, in his life.
So we’re not going to be mad at him for “spoiling” this.
Peter Kraus and Dean referred to each other as their best friend.
They had an epic bromance on that show and we hope that it’s made them friends for life.
(Friends that shade Bryan Abasolo together are friends for life)
It’s a little hard to see Dean not knowing if Peter is engaged.
Peter should win The Bachelorette, as we’ve said before.
(Just as Dean should have made it to the very end)
But we already know that Peter wouldn’t make it, thanks to this summer’s Bachelor in Paradise shenanigans.
Because if Peter Kraus had gotten engaged to Rachel Lindsay, they wouldn’t have sent him to Bachelor in Paradise.
But you know what?
Dean doesn’t need to have any special knowledge, or even to have kept up with where his very good friend was or was not spotted, to have made this slip.
Maybe he just never wanted to imagine that he and his good friend would get torn apart by a woman.
(Even a woman as gorgeous as Rachel Lindsay)
And, by the way, it looks like Dean and Peter are both on Bachelor in Paradise together.
(Only Dean has been announced, but thanks to that spoiler, it looks like they’ll both be on there)
We’re so glad that they’re going to get to hang out on camera some more, you know?
Hopefully, this time, they won’t both be pursuing the same girl.
Like we said, Rachel Lindsay should have picked Peter Kraus.
(Even though, sadly, we already know who wins)
But, you know, her loss will be someone else’s gain.
And if Peter doesn’t get snatched up on Bachelor in Paradise.
(Or in real life)
Maybe he will be the next Bachelor on The Bachelor.
And have Dean cheering him on the whole time.
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Kurt Eichenwald: MSNBC Contributor Accidentally Reveals Love of Anime Tentacle Porn
Kurt Eichenwald is a political commentator who’s best known for his ability to be liked by no one.
Actually, that’s not fair.
Eichenwald is best known for butting heads with bow tie enthusiast and noted wedgie target Tucker Carlson, one of the few people on the planet who might be more loathed than Kurt.
It doesn’t matter if you lean left or right in your political views, Eichenwald and Carlson both suck out loud, and they’ve both devoted their sad careers to Mad Maxing their ways across the post-apocalyptic media hellscape created by Roger Ailes.
We know, we know:
You clicked on a headline about tentacle porn, and we’re boring you with a feud between two middle-aged, basic cable sad sacks who probably put their number of Twitter followers on their resumes.
The reason we bring up the Eichenwald-Carlson feud is because it came to a head today in hilarious fashion when we learned that one of them likes to crank it to the sight of comely cartoon chicks having their way with horny sea creatures.
You see, Eichenwald was in the process of accusing Carlson followers of sending him anti-Semitic flyers (even though he’s not Jewish) in order to intimidate him.
To prove it, he posted this screenshot:
“Since being on your show, I get things like this a lot, most always from ppl mentioning u,” Eichenwald tweeted, along with the pic.
“Ur the Julius Streicher of Fox,” he added, referring to the publisher of an anti-Semitic newspaper.
Inflammatory stuff.
But it was quickly overshadowed by something that has little to do with politics and everything to do with Kurt’s love of sexy, girl-on-squid action.
Twitter quickly noticed that one of the open tabs on Eichenwald’s computer reads “B-Chiku,” referring to a type of animated tentacle porn.
Rather than just copping to getting off on octo-sex, Kurt offered an unlikely explanation involving … his entire family?
“Sigh. Ok, I’m a dumbass. Believe it or not, my kids & I were trying to convince my wife that ‘tentacle porn’ existed,” Eichenwald tweeted.
“I tried to find some to show her it was real. But I couldn’t find any – & ended up w/ this. My family reads my twitter feed, so they know this is true.”
He added:
“No one hacked my account. We were searching to prove to my wife tentacle porn exists … I’ve got nothing left to say about this. Believe what I say or dont. Think my family has odd conversations (we do) or don’t. So it goes.”
It’s worth noting that Eichenwald’s kids are grown … but still.
So we guess Carlson wins the day?
That said, we’re sure he’d prefer that his victory didn’t involve tentacle porn.
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Todd Heap Accidentally Strikes, Kills 3-Year Old Daughter with Car
Todd Heap, a former stand-out tight end who played 12 seasons in the NFL, is now living through the worst possible nightmare for any parent.
The Mesa Police Department in Arizona has confirmed that Heap accidentally struck and killed his three-year-old daughter with his truck on Friday.
According to official police records, Heap said the child was in her driveway when he went to move a truck and hit her just before 4 p.m. local time.
Authorities told an ABC affiliate that there were no signs of impairment or suspicious circumstances behind the incident.
It sounds at the moment like it was just an awful, awful accident.
The Mesa Police Department told Fox 10 Phoenix that Heap’s daughter was taken to a local hospital, where she later died.
Prior to being drafted by the Baltimore Ravens in 2001, Heap attended Mountain View High School in Mesa and then went on to play at Arizona State University.
He spent 10 seasons with the Ravens and then joined the Cardinals in 2011 and 2012 before injury forced his retirement about halfway through his second season with Arizona.
Heap’s daughter was the youngest of his five children with wife Ashley.
The ex-All Pro is yet to comment on the situation, but we cannot imagine what he is going through.
In 2014, Heap was inducted in the Baltimore Ring of Honor, the highest distinction the Ravens can give to a player.
He finished his career with 499 receptions, 5,869 yards and 24 touchdowns.
Upon learning of this sad news, various members of the NFL family reached out to Heap and asked for prayers via social media.
Here’s a look at what many of them have said:
We join everyone who has reached out to Heap to offer their thoughts and condolences.
Our hearts go out to him and his loved ones during this impossible time.
May his beloved toddler rest in peace.
Shaq to Pay for Funeral of Georgia Teen Who Accidentally Shot Himself on Live Video
Shaquille O’Neal is helping ease the pain for a Georgia family struck by tragedy … he’s paying for the funeral of a boy who accidentally shot and killed himself. 13-year-old Malachi Hemphill was showing off a gun on Instagram Live when it…
Todd Heap Accidentally Hits, Kills 3 Yr. Old Daughter With Truck
Former NFL star tight end Todd Heap accidentally hit and killed his 3 year old daughter while moving his truck in the driveway of his Arizona home today … according to police. Mesa Police responded to an emergency call for a pedestrian hit by a…
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Nicki Minaj Nip Slip: Accidentally Posted to Instagram?!
We all know that Nicki Minaj nip slips are a fairly common sight on social media, so perhaps it’s not surprising that her millions of Instagram followers examine every pic she posts with a magnifying glass.
But this time we’re thinking they may have been fooled by an optical illusion.
Like we said, this wouldn’t be the rapper’s first nip slip.
In fact, it wouldn’t be the first time that Nicki posted a nip slip to Instagram by “accident.”
But after spending more time examining this photo than we care to admit, we’re confident that this pic features at best the a mere outline of areola.
There’s a roundish shadow where a nipple might be, but we can’t help but think there’s some serious wishful thinking at work here.
Knowing how strict the Instagram no-nipple policy is, the fact that the pic is still online several days after it was originally posted is pretty good indication that it doesn’t meet the qualifications for a nip slip.
But hey, if you’re worried that Nicki has lost her risque edge, fear not.
She also posted these:
Yeah, if you can ignore the random box of donuts behind her in the one pic, it’s pretty sexy stuff.
Nicki originally tagged her fiance Meek Mill and wrote something about how the pics are “just for him.”
Plenty of fans pointed out how dumb that was because she posted them on IG instead of just sending them to Meek.
So Nicki deleted the caption but kept the pics – which we’re taking as an admission that they’re just a plea for attention.
Never change, Nicki.
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Florida Father Accidentally Shoots, Kills Son
Tragedy has struck a family in Sarasota, Florida.
According to The Tampa Bay Times, a 64-year old man named William Brumby was with his daughter and two sons at the High Noon Gun Range on Sunday when a horrible accident took the life of one of his children.
Both eye witness accounts and surveillance footage say that Brumby was firing rounds in a shooting lane next to a wall.
A short while later, one of the shell casings hit the wall, ricocheted off of it and dropped down the back of the man"s shirt.
Brumby, a father of seven, proceeded to use his right hand (which was holding the weapon) to attempt and remove the shell casing.
As he reached for it, however, he pointed his gun behind him and accidentally fired, hitting his 14-year-old son, Stephen, who was standing behind him.
After being transported to Sarasota Memorial Hospital, Stephen passed away from his injuries.
We cannot begin to imagine how anyone in this family is feeling at the moment.
David Brumby, Stephen"s 24-year-old brother who was also at the gun range with his 12-year-old sister told a local ABC affiliate that Stephen was a sweet child.
"He was the most outgoing, gregarious, friendly, loving person you"d ever know," David said of his late sibling.
David, who was backed up by the medical examiner, also made it clear that his father did NOT point his gun at Stephen.
The bullet that struck his brother had gone up toward the ceiling and ricocheted down. It was a freak accident.
"No matter how calm you try to stay, there"s no way to wipe the images away from your mind of your little brother bleeding out in your arms," he said.
A GoFundMe page has been gone live to assist the family with expenses related to Stephen"s death.
It is unlikely that any charges will be filed against the father.
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
TV Anchor Accidentally Sculpts Sand Into a Penis
Give it up for live television, folks!
In a segment from KMTV’s Morning Blend that has gone viral for a very understandable reason, co-host Mike DiGiacomo is helping his team promote a charity sand sculpting event.
He"s interviewing a sand sculpting expert who has created a special took that helps one make spheres in sand.
Pretty cool, right? Pretty useful in this context, no?
Most definitely.
But DiGiacomo gives the tool a whirl and then quickly realizes that he has accidentally created… on air.
"What did I make just make there?" the anchor asks as he erases a smooth set of sand testicles.
If it"s any comfort to DiGiacomo, he isn"t alone when it comes to making penis references on live television.
Consider the following weather pattern and report:
And consider the look of this weather map:
Check out the full clip of DiGiacomo"s phallic mishap now:
TV Anchor Accidentally Sculpts Sand Into a Penis
Give it up for live television, folks!
In a segment from KMTV’s Morning Blend that has gone viral for a very understandable reason, co-host Mike DiGiacomo is helping his team promote a charity sand sculpting event.
He"s interviewing a sand sculpting expert who has created a special took that helps one make spheres in sand.
Pretty cool, right? Pretty useful in this context, no?
Most definitely.
But DiGiacomo gives the tool a whirl and then quickly realizes that he has accidentally created… on air.
"What did I make just make there?" the anchor asks as he erases a smooth set of sand testicles.
If it"s any comfort to DiGiacomo, he isn"t alone when it comes to making penis references on live television.
Consider the following weather pattern and report:
And consider the look of this weather map:
Check out the full clip of DiGiacomo"s phallic mishap now:
Friday, April 8, 2016
Kate Middleton: Accidentally Knocked-Up! Royal Baby On The Way!
This claim never gets old…said no one ever.
If you’re writing up the story at Life & Style, you’ve convinced yourself that the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant again, to the point where you insist that a sticker be slapped on the cover to confirm the news.
A sticker declaring “The Official Announcement” does not a confirmation make.
Here’s how it happened (in the writer’s head): “Kate has told her immediate family she is in the early stages of pregnancy,” a source squealed.
“To be honest, it was an accident and total surprise. They hadn’t wanted a third child for a couple of years, but now that it has happened, she and William are thrilled.”
Like any parents expecting a fake baby, William and Catherine are “already excitedly discussing names for the little prince or princess.
“The favorites are Charles or Philip, after William’s dad and grandfather, and Caroline, after Kate’s mother [Carol]. They don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl because they already have one of each.”
Since the source must be either a doctor or a psychic (or both!), he or she pointed out that the pregnancy totes “won’t get in the way” of the Cambridge’s trip to India and Bhutan (which kicks off Sunday, April 10th).
Let’s pretend for a moment Catherine is with child. With her two previous pregnancies, Her Royal Highness was bedridden with hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness in which the mother cannot keep food or liquid down. It got so serious with Prince George in 2012 that Catherine was admitted to hospital.
Never mind that the Zika virus has prompted several married women to go on birth control until a cure has been discovered, but Kensington Palace would take the initiative and announce her pregnancy as they’ve done in the past, to keep the press from speculating.
Mom – if you’re reading this, Kate’s not pregnant. I don’t care what you saw in the check-out aisle of Roche Bros.
Monday, April 4, 2016
Courtney Stodden Accidentally Sets Hair ON FIRE in Wild Video!
There are blonde moments, and then there"s this glorious disaster.
Courtney Stodden was livestreaming on Periscope over the weekend when things got seriously hot.
No, she didn"t start reenacting scenes from the Courtney Stodden sex tape.
Things actually heated up in the most literal sense when Courtney"s hair went up in flames.
Courtney and her psychic were chatting with fans during some sort of seance when the 21-year-old got a little too close to a candle.
No one was hurt, so feel free to watch the video and laugh. Even the victim appears to see the humor in this situation.
When Courtney praised herself for being brave after she posted a makeup-free selfie, we weren"t really buying it.
Now that we"ve seen her reaction to a flaming extension, however, we agree that she"s got some serious cojones.
No word on why Court is making weird sounds with her mouth or why her friend is joking about cats getting hit by cars.
Apparently Ms. Stodden"s Periscope account offers much more interesting highlights than we would"ve thought.
Sadly, setting her hair on fire isn"t even the dumbest thing Courtney does in this video.
We don"t know how many times we can say this, people: turn your phone horizontal when you"re shooting video!
Friday, April 1, 2016
Adam Lind Accidentally Texts Nude Photo to Jenelle Evans Instead of Chelsea Houska, Sh!tstorm Ensues on Twitter!
Back in February, graphic photos of Adam Lind having sex with a former girlfriend leaked online, causing the famously short-tempered Teen Mom 2 star to flip out and demand that the pics be deleted from social media.
You might think that the incident would’ve taught Lind to be a bit more cautious with his racy selfies. You would be wrong:
Not only has Lind been posting nude photos online, he’s been texting them to his ex Chelsea Houska. Or at least trying to, anyway…
Moments ago, Chelsea’s co-star Jenelle Evans tagged Houska in a tweet that was initially thought to be a joke:
“Hey @ChelseaHouska tell your dude Adam Lind to stop sending me dick pics,” Evans wrote. “I can see why you cut his ass loose. Looks like those steroids are having some BAD side effects LOLOLOLOLOL!!!”
Houska replied:
“Adam is not my dude. If he’s sending you dick pics that’s between the two of y’all!”
The ladies went back and forth with Chelsea mostly keeping her cool, but eventually implying that she thinks Jenelle is lying (a fair assumption, as Jenelle lies about everything).
That’s when things got really ugly:
“Bitch I will post your baby daddy’s shriveled-ass ‘roid dong right here just to prove I ain’t lying,” Jenelle tweeted. “I have 1.2 million followers and they’re all about to be busting out their magnifying glasses.”
Lind hasn’t tweeted since 2011, but someone must have alerted him to the goings-on, because he intervened just as it seemed that Jenelle was about to show his man bits to the world:
“LADIES, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CONFUSION,” Adam wrote. “I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR USING ALL CAPS, BUT I’M FILLED WITH RAGE (AS ALWAYS) AND I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPRESS MYSELF.”
“I MEANT TO SEND THOSE PHOTOS TO CHELSEA, BUT I SENT THEM TO JENELLE BY MISTAKE. I WOULD NEVER INTENTIONALLY SEND NUDE PHOTOS TO SOMEONE I HAVEN’T ALREADY HAD SEX WITH BECAUSE…WELL, YOU BOTH KNOW WHY.”
The situation is shocking not only for the feud it appears to have kicked off between Jenelle and Chelsea, but also because it seems that we just discovered the big (or should we say small) reason that Adam Lind is so angry all the time.
Surprising stuff – or at least it would be, were it not for the fact that this is just a really long April Fool’s joke! HA!
Watch Teen Mom 2 online at TV Fanatic for some actual drama.
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