Mike Perry is hoping for a second shot at a first impression with Jon Jones … ‘cause the UFC fighter was HIGH AS BALLS when the two met earlier this month — and he says Jon kinda hated him for it. The hilarious tale all went down after Mike…
Showing posts with label Stoned. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stoned. Show all posts
Friday, August 31, 2018
Monday, November 20, 2017
Malia Obama: Drunk and Stoned at Harvard Football Game?
Well, it’s Thanksgiving on Thursday, and some of you may be feeling like you’re walking into the annual dinner table political debate with a depleted arsenal.
After all, ISIS hasn’t been defeated in 30 days; Obamacare is still the law of the land; our borders remain wall-less; and our totally emotionally-stable president has declared war on Marshawn Lynch and Lavar Ball.
But don’t worry, you can always divert attention away from the issues by focusing on the fact that … college kids are getting drunk!
Yes, Malia Obama (or Obummer, if you’re so inclined! Derp!) is a student at Harvard now, which means that instead of engaging in activities that are appropriate for presidential offspring (colluding with foreign dictators, slaughtering elephants for fun, etc.), she’s busy hitting the books.
But while Malia’s more studious than, say, Eric Trump, who we hear isn’t allowed to use paste without supervision, she’s still a 19-year-old girl, so it’s no surprise that she likes to occasionally cut loose.
Sadly, instead of enjoying wholesome activities like sliding into the Kremlin’s DMs or cramming a tusk into her carry-on, Malia is drinking, hooking up with dudes, and yes … puffing on the devil’s lettuce.
In short, Malia has been “partying,” and for some reason, that’s being treated as news.
According to TMZ, Malia was spotted making out with some guy while tailgating before this weekend’s Harvard-Yale football game.
Other reports are taking things a step further, with claims that Malia acted “pretty drunk” at the game.
One witness even claims she was spotted smoking weed outside a pizza place prior to the big game, which is literally the most college thing we’ve ever heard.
As folks who creepily fixate on the private lives of teenage girls can tell you, this isn’t the first time that Malia’s been spotted–in the words of one witness–“living her best life.”
Over the summer, Malia went to Lollapalooza, where she puffed on some jazz cabbage and danced with her friends, like she was some sort of college kid at a music festival or something.
So there you have it, folks.
Come Thursday, when your sicko lib-cuck nephew is asking you to pass the tofurkey, you can inform him that he supports the party of degeneracy.
Of course, it’s possible you’ll have choked to death on your Stove Top by then, what with having been forced to suffer the sight of kneeling football players and grimace your way through pre-meal prayers that don’t end with a rousing chant of “merry Christmas!”
Stay strong out there, patriots!
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Chris Brown SUPER Stoned, Stopped By Cops in Amsterdam!
Chris Brown partying and getting high in Amsterdam is not a shock.
It"s legal to smoke marijuana there, so Breezy partaking in the local culture really isn"t even a big deal.
It is not legal, however, to drive while under the influence – or to drive a motorcycle without a license plate.
But after a coffee house smokeout session, Brown hopped on a dirt bike and drove around the city, only to be stopped by local police, which was caught on video by TMZ.
The weed must"ve really chilled out Brown, who we all know has displayed violent tendencies in the past, because he was cool as a cucumber throughout the entire ordeal.
His friend tried to explain that Brown was "one of the most famous rappers," but the cops there had no idea who he was – which might"ve actually worked in his favor considering his past brush-ups with the law.
The officer told Brown and his entourage that they"d be slapped with a fine and couldn"t drive any further, and Brown was surprisingly calm.
"That"s fine," he told them. "We"ll get the van to come get us."
And in a move that made us wonder if this was the real Chris Brown or some sort of imposter, he even thanked the cop for a job well done.
"Thank you for doing your job, sir, appreciate it," he said without a lick of sarcasm, and even invited the officer to attend his show the following night.
"They"re nicer than LAPD. I"ve been on pavement," he told his friends.
When the authorities told him he"d have to go down to the station to pay a fine for driving without plates, he was good with that, too.
"No problem, sir," he said, then later complimented the man"s jacket.
Looks like a high Chris Brown is a very, very nice Chris Brown.
Later, the rapper posted videos from the station to his Instagram account, calling the police "cool as shit."
TMZ also caught videos of Chris smoking a joint just before getting on the bikes, and of a local woman complaining about his driving as he just sits there grinning from ear to ear.
Perhaps his charm got him out of the higher (no pun intended, but it works) crime of driving under the influence.
Either way, it"s quite the contrast to last week"s TMZ vid in which we saw an angry Brown stomping on a man"s head during a concert.
Something seems fishy, though. These Amsterdam videos are eerily clear and shot quite close up. Were they somehow staged?
It"s hard to know, but we"re fairly certain they incited a couple eye rolls from Brown"s baby mama Nia Guzman, who has been warring with her ex over social media and recently slammed him as an "Instagram dad."
All we know is if we ever have a run-in with Breezy, we hope he"s high when it occurs.
Chris Brown SUPER Stoned, Stopped By Cops in Amsterdam!
Chris Brown partying and getting high in Amsterdam is not a shock.
It"s legal to smoke marijuana there, so Breezy partaking in the local culture really isn"t even a big deal.
It is not legal, however, to drive while under the influence – or to drive a motorcycle without a license plate.
But after a coffee house smokeout session, Brown hopped on a dirt bike and drove around the city, only to be stopped by local police, which was caught on video by TMZ.
The weed must"ve really chilled out Brown, who we all know has displayed violent tendencies in the past, because he was cool as a cucumber throughout the entire ordeal.
His friend tried to explain that Brown was "one of the most famous rappers," but the cops there had no idea who he was – which might"ve actually worked in his favor considering his past brush-ups with the law.
The officer told Brown and his entourage that they"d be slapped with a fine and couldn"t drive any further, and Brown was surprisingly calm.
"That"s fine," he told them. "We"ll get the van to come get us."
And in a move that made us wonder if this was the real Chris Brown or some sort of imposter, he even thanked the cop for a job well done.
"Thank you for doing your job, sir, appreciate it," he said without a lick of sarcasm, and even invited the officer to attend his show the following night.
"They"re nicer than LAPD. I"ve been on pavement," he told his friends.
When the authorities told him he"d have to go down to the station to pay a fine for driving without plates, he was good with that, too.
"No problem, sir," he said, then later complimented the man"s jacket.
Looks like a high Chris Brown is a very, very nice Chris Brown.
Later, the rapper posted videos from the station to his Instagram account, calling the police "cool as shit."
TMZ also caught videos of Chris smoking a joint just before getting on the bikes, and of a local woman complaining about his driving as he just sits there grinning from ear to ear.
Perhaps his charm got him out of the higher (no pun intended, but it works) crime of driving under the influence.
Either way, it"s quite the contrast to last week"s TMZ vid in which we saw an angry Brown stomping on a man"s head during a concert.
Something seems fishy, though. These Amsterdam videos are eerily clear and shot quite close up. Were they somehow staged?
It"s hard to know, but we"re fairly certain they incited a couple eye rolls from Brown"s baby mama Nia Guzman, who has been warring with her ex over social media and recently slammed him as an "Instagram dad."
All we know is if we ever have a run-in with Breezy, we hope he"s high when it occurs.
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