You won’t see Danielle Bregoli hitting any Harvard dorm parties with Malia Obama anytime soon because the rumors she’s got a scholarship to the Ivy League school are bogus. We got Danielle in NYC Friday where she laughed at the thought of…
Showing posts with label Harvard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Harvard. Show all posts
Friday, December 8, 2017
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Danielle Bregoli: Accepted to Harvard?!
Danielle Bregoli. Her bad behavior and distinctive threats earned her fame as the cash me ousside girl. More recently, she’s been making music under the name Bhad Bhabie. Sure.
That’s not exactly the kind of branding that you associate with ivy league education. And yet … Danielle recently bragged on social media about receiving a full ride to Harvard.
Please tell us that this is just a bad dream. Please.
Danielle Bregoli took to Instagram to share this image.
Whether the image is real or photoshopped (though the Florida native who new resides in L.A. has been spending time in New England, recently), Bregoli’s caption sure raised some eyebrows:
“Keeping da t-shirt , but giving away my full ride scholarship to Harvard to da best fan video of #igotit”
She followed this with three emojis of tearful laughter.
Then she wrote:
“@harvard #futuredropout” followed by a bag of money emoji, a black heart emoji, and a fire emoji.
What. On. Earth.
Ignoring the ludicrous tag and a definitely not real giveaway … did Danielle Bregoli somehow get into Harvard?
If we learned one thing from Gossip Girl, it’s that Blair Waldorf is beautiful and amazing and deserves the world. But we also learned that ivy league universities have an interest in attracting students with famous names.
(Okay, we didn’t need Gossip Girl to learn that)
Is Danielle Bregoli … or Bhad Bhabie as she is calling herself now in what we assume is a (successful) effort to destroy any lingering faith in the world … quite famous enough to make the cut?
First, she appeared on Dr. Phil for her bad behavior, where, taking offense at the audience’s laughter, she attempted to threaten them with “cash me ousside, howbow dah?”
What some saw as the atrocious behavior of a girl with an unenviable life and very likely no real future, others saw as an accidental moment of comedic genius. A meme was born.
Not all memes lead to personal fame, but this one did, and Danielle is capitalizing on it. She’s moved to L.A. where she reportedly has a reality series in the works.
And that’s not all. …
Danielle Bregoli is making music. As we mentioned, under the name Bhad Bhabie.
And it is with a heavy heart that we report that Danielle Bregoli’s first single was record-breaking.
So she’s an upcoming reality star and, like or not, the fourteen-year-old troublemaker is a success in the music industry.
Bhad Bhabie is set to make millions from her music deal, because the American Dream is dead and we’re now living in the American Nightmare.
With all of this considered, has Harvard offered her a very early admission … and a free ride?
No.
Like, we don’t know for sure in terms of Harvard releasing a statement on the absurd subject.
But the common sense that we keep in our brains for just such occasions tells us that Danielle Bregoli is just saying outlandish things for publicity.
That is literally how she got famous, folks. She has a brand to maintain.
It’s not impossible for a 14-year-old to get into Harvard, but if insulting Dr. Phil were all that it took, any 14-year-old who’s ever seen that poorly-disguised Texan walrus would have gotten an ivy league education.
By the way, the fact that Danielle was offering her full ride as a “giveaway” is probably supposed to be her nod that, you know, she’s joking.
That’s not how full rides or scholarships work. it’s not a cruise.
We do have to wonder if Danielle Bregoli might end up getting sued over that post. Some might consider it false advertising. If you announce a giveaway prize and can’t deliver, well, a jury might decide that you have to fork over some serious dough.
If somebody takes her at her word and decides to sue, we might end up cashing her in debt.
Monday, November 20, 2017
Malia Obama: Drunk and Stoned at Harvard Football Game?
Well, it’s Thanksgiving on Thursday, and some of you may be feeling like you’re walking into the annual dinner table political debate with a depleted arsenal.
After all, ISIS hasn’t been defeated in 30 days; Obamacare is still the law of the land; our borders remain wall-less; and our totally emotionally-stable president has declared war on Marshawn Lynch and Lavar Ball.
But don’t worry, you can always divert attention away from the issues by focusing on the fact that … college kids are getting drunk!
Yes, Malia Obama (or Obummer, if you’re so inclined! Derp!) is a student at Harvard now, which means that instead of engaging in activities that are appropriate for presidential offspring (colluding with foreign dictators, slaughtering elephants for fun, etc.), she’s busy hitting the books.
But while Malia’s more studious than, say, Eric Trump, who we hear isn’t allowed to use paste without supervision, she’s still a 19-year-old girl, so it’s no surprise that she likes to occasionally cut loose.
Sadly, instead of enjoying wholesome activities like sliding into the Kremlin’s DMs or cramming a tusk into her carry-on, Malia is drinking, hooking up with dudes, and yes … puffing on the devil’s lettuce.
In short, Malia has been “partying,” and for some reason, that’s being treated as news.
According to TMZ, Malia was spotted making out with some guy while tailgating before this weekend’s Harvard-Yale football game.
Other reports are taking things a step further, with claims that Malia acted “pretty drunk” at the game.
One witness even claims she was spotted smoking weed outside a pizza place prior to the big game, which is literally the most college thing we’ve ever heard.
As folks who creepily fixate on the private lives of teenage girls can tell you, this isn’t the first time that Malia’s been spotted–in the words of one witness–“living her best life.”
Over the summer, Malia went to Lollapalooza, where she puffed on some jazz cabbage and danced with her friends, like she was some sort of college kid at a music festival or something.
So there you have it, folks.
Come Thursday, when your sicko lib-cuck nephew is asking you to pass the tofurkey, you can inform him that he supports the party of degeneracy.
Of course, it’s possible you’ll have choked to death on your Stove Top by then, what with having been forced to suffer the sight of kneeling football players and grimace your way through pre-meal prayers that don’t end with a rousing chant of “merry Christmas!”
Stay strong out there, patriots!
Sunday, August 27, 2017
Malia Obama Harassed at Harvard ... I"m Not An Animal
Malia Obama just arrived at Harvard, but she’s having trouble blending in, especially Saturday when she felt harassed by a woman hell-bent on getting a photo. Eyewitnesses tell TMZ, Malia was in Harvard Square with a friend. As she approached…
Friday, May 26, 2017
Mark Zuckerberg Finally Gets Harvard Degree, James Earl Jones Too! (PHOTOS)
Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook and made billions upon billions, but he never did get a degree from Harvard … until now. Mark was presented with an honorary Doctor of Laws degree Thursday at what would’ve been his alma mater if he hadn’t…
Mark Zuckerberg Finally Gets Harvard Degree, James Earl Jones Too! (PHOTOS)
Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook and made billions upon billions, but he never did get a degree from Harvard … until now. Mark was presented with an honorary Doctor of Laws degree Thursday at what would’ve been his alma mater if he hadn’t…
Friday, November 4, 2016
Tennis Star James Blake -- I"m Proud Of Harvard ... For Dropping Hammer On Soccer Team
Tennis star James Blake is PROUD of his alma mater Harvard for taking swift action against the men’s soccer team — saying he’s glad the school didn’t go the Penn State route and try to cover it up. Harvard’s Dean cancelled the rest of the…
Harvard University -- School Suspends Soccer Team ... Over Sex-Rating Scandal
Harvard University has suspended the men’s soccer team for the remainder of the season after officials found that players had been creating detailed reports on women they’d like to bang. An investigation was launched into the program over…
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