Mark Zuckerberg’s been getting the meme treatment for supposedly looking like a ‘Star Trek’ character — ever since he testified to Congress — but the actor himself doesn’t see it. We got Brent Spiner Monday in Malibu where we asked if he’d seen…
Showing posts with label Zuckerberg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zuckerberg. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
"Star Trek" Star Brent Spiner Doesn"t See Mark Zuckerberg Resemblance to Data
Mark Zuckerberg’s been getting the meme treatment for supposedly looking like a ‘Star Trek’ character — ever since he testified to Congress — but the actor himself doesn’t see it. We got Brent Spiner Monday in Malibu where we asked if he’d seen…
Thursday, July 26, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg Loses $16 BILLION In One Day as Facebook Stocks Plummet!
We imagine Mark Zuckerberg spends all day poking around in our personal business and laughing at our misfortunes, so we’re relishing the opportunity to return the favor.
As you may have heard, Zuckerberg’s company — a plucky little startup called Facebook — is not having the best year.
First, there was Zuck’s testimony before Congress, which was only amusing if you watched it on mute and pretended it was an episode of Black Mirror where a robot gets put on trial for murder.
Shortly thereafter, Zuckerberg was harshly criticized for defending the rights of Holocaust deniers who use his service to propagate their batsh-t beliefs.
Marky Mark probably thought getting publicly crucified for presiding over a company that allows Russian bots to spread fake news and enables neo-Nazis to stoke the flames of racial hatred would the low point of his 2018.
And maybe it was.
But losing $ 16 billion in personal wealth as shareholders call for your head probably still stings just a bit.
Yes, it was a rough day on Wall Street, as Facebook stocks plummetted more than 20 percent, seemingly in response to the company’s recent rash of scandals and bad press.
Of course, even after losing more money in a single day than most people could spend in five lifetimes, Zuck is still worth more than $ 68 billion, so you probably won’t see him doing the Floss for nickels outside a VA hospital anytime soon.
But the loss puts him below Warren Buffett on the list of the world’s richest people, which is amusing for at least two reasons:
1. People actually like Buffett, whereas the sight of Zuckerberg causes most folks to fantasize about perpetrating a fatal wedgie, and
2. We like to imagine Buffett calling Zuck, saying, “How’s my ass taste, kid?” and promptly hanging up the phone.
Of course, it wasn’t just Facebook’s affiliations with Cambridge Analytica and the Pepe the Frog set that have stocks and profit margins plummeting.
The site’s ongoing efforts to become Snapchat for old people are also causing “unforeseen growth cessations” and other mumbo-jumbo that basically means “we might be f-cked.”
“We plan to grow and promote certain engaging experiences like Stories that currently have lower levels of monetization, and we are also giving people who use our services more choices around data privacy, which may have an impact on our revenue growth,” says CFO David Wehner.
Again, this is all relative, as Facebook’s market cap is still valued at about $ 120 billion, so your aunt Sharon’s favorite venue for sharing “wine o’clock” memes won’t be going away anytime soon.
But the important thing is that today’s news affirms the increasingly popular theory that Mark Zuckerberg is not the savior of the Western world, but just some code jockey who was in the right place at the right time.
Watch for him and fellow embodiment of the evils of late capitalism Elon Musk to announce a plan for world domination any day now.
Thursday, July 19, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg: I Didn"t MEAN to Defend Holocaust Deniers!
Remember in late 2016 when it looked like Mark Zuckerberg was testing the waters for an eventual Presidential run? That ship has clearly sailed.
In a recent statement, Zuckerberg seemed to make excuses for Holocaust deniers on Facebook, claiming that the classic neo-nazi talking point is just an honest misunderstanding.
Now, he’s trying to walk back his statements … but not doing a great job of it.
On a Wednesday appearance on the Recode Decode podcast, Mark Zuckerberg reminds listeners: “I’m Jewish.”
That is definitely relevant to the conversation of Holocaust denial and other abhorrent content that spreads via Facebook.
“And there’s a set of people who deny that the Holocaust happened,” Zuckerberg admits.
“I find that deeply offensive,” he says.
For the record, saying that Holocaust denial is offensive kind of misses the point.
‘But at the end of the day,” Zuckerberg continues. “I don’t believe that our platform should take that down.”
Yikes.
He does explain his point of view.
Zuckerberg says that he doesn’t want to block thta content “because I think there are things that different people get wrong. I don’t think that they’re intentionally getting it wrong.”
Some would argue that people who believe evil, untrue things are never intentionally getting it wrong. Other say that most Holocaust deniers are deliberately lying.
“It’s hard to impugn intent,” Zuckerberg says. “And to understand the intent.”
Many would say that the intention behind spreading such misinformation doesn’t really matter.
“I just think, as abhorrent as some of those examples are,” Zuckerberg says. “I think the reality is also that I get things wrong when I speak publicly.”
Zuckerberg sent a follow-up email to clarify his wildly controversial statements.
“I enjoyed our conversation yesterday,” his email begins. “But there’s one thing I want to clear up.”
A lot of people are better-spoken in emails than they are in interviews.
“I personally find Holocaust denial deeply offensive,” Zuckerberg repeats. “And I absolutely didn’t intend to defend the intent of people who deny that.”
That’s … reassuring?
“Our goal with fake news is not to prevent anyone from saying something untrue,” he clarifies. “But to stop fake news and misinformation spreading across our services.”
That sounds like a subtle distinction for those who don’t actively work in social media.
He goes on to explain how he hopes that Facebook will accomplish this goal.
“If something is spreading and is rated false by fact checkers,” Zuckerberg describes. “It would lose the vast majority of its distribution in News Feed.”
“And of course,” Zuckerberg continues. “If a post crossed line into advocating for violence or hate against a particular group, it would be removed.”
That is probably welcome news to the people who have reported direct threats against them on Facebook only to have Facebook respond with the formal equivalent of a shrug.
“These issues are very challenging,” Zuckerberg admits. “But I believe that often the best way to fight offensive bad speech is with good speech.”
“I look forward to catching up again soon,” he concludes. “Mark.”
There are a few issues with his statement.
First of all, addressing direct and explicit violent threats just allows people to play word games. Holocaust denial is a popular word game.
A number of white supremacist groups enjoy presenting the Holocaust as a fabrication, concocted by an all-powerful Jewish cabal in order to procure international sympathy.
Zuckerberg himself is unlikely to be impacted by the spread of anti-semitism, because his status as a billionaire means that he does not face the everyday experiences that non-billionaire minorities do.
And that goes for his entire family.
He might be offended by their rhetoric, but he is not the person who is likely to have his home or place of work vandalized by someone who worked themselves into a frenzy after consuming hour after hour of conspiracy theories.
Many have pointed out that Zuckerberg cares more about making money off of avowed racists on his platform than he is about the real world consequences of helping nazi ideology to spread.
In Zuckerberg’s defense … he’s not the best at public speaking.
Also, YouTube’s video suggestion algorithm, which points so many teens to a cesspool of conspiracy theoriest and white nationalist media, is definitely worse.
Still … defending Holocaust deniers isn’t a great platform for a political run. Unless you’re Trump, apparently.
Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg Refuses to Ban Holocaust Deniers from Facebook
Mark Zuckerberg is coming under fire for refusing to ban Holocaust deniers on Facebook. The FB CEO made the controversial statement in an interview with tech site Redcode, in which he says … “I’m Jewish, and there’s a set of people who…
Thursday, July 12, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg Big Ballin" With Roger Goodell In Idaho
Here’s a glimpse into what summer camp would look like if you had a boatload of money … Mark Zuckerberg, Roger Goodell, Robert Kraft and a whole host of rich people converged on Sun Valley Resort in Idaho this week to have talks about what rich…
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg Spars with Sen. Ted Cruz During Facebook Data Breach Grilling
Mark Zuckerberg got an intense, lengthy grilling Tuesday from dozens of senators, and none was more demanding — and political — than Sen. Ted Cruz. Most senators asked Zuck about privacy and data-related issues, but Sen. Cruz decided to…
Monday, April 9, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg Puts on Suit and Tie for Capitol Hill Meetings
Y’know Mark Zuckerberg’s in some serious s**t when he ditches his hoodies and t-shirts. The Facebook honcho went traditional biz attire — dark suit, blue tie — as he showed up on Capitol Hill Monday morning for meetings with lawmakers. Zuck is…
Friday, March 9, 2018
Akon Envisions 2020 Presidential Run with Mark Zuckerberg as VP
Akon can see himself in the White House … and he wants Mark Zuckerberg to help him beat President Trump in 2020. We got the singer at LAX Thursday and wanted to know how he would defeat Trump, hypothetically speaking. Our…
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Mark Zuckerberg Apologizes for Virtual Reality Demo in Flooded Puerto Rico
Mark Zuckerberg admits using hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico as the backdrop to roll out Facebook’s new 360-degree virtual reality technology … was a super tone-deaf idea. No duh. Zuckerberg issued an apology for the demonstration he and other FB…
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Mark Zuckerberg, Priscilla Chan Welcome Daughter With Heartwarming Letter
Mark Zuckerberg is something of a divisive figure these days.
Sure, he founded a service that mostof us use every day, and he says he’s committed to making the world a better place, but at the same time, there are many who believe he’s more responsible than anyone else for the proliferation of “fake news” that loomed so large over the 2016 election.
Plus, we’re sick of getting notifications every time someone on our friends list “goes live” to show off their new haircut, ya know.
Anyway, the Zuck seems like an okay guy who’s probably a bit over his head of arguably the world’s most important media outlet, but that’s a conversation for another time.
Today, all we have to say to Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan is congratulations on bringing another billionaire baby into the world!
Yes, Zuckerberg announced yesterday on Facebook (natch) that he and wife Priscilla Chan had welcomed a baby girl named August.
She’s the second child for the couple who welcomed daughter Max in 2015.
As he did when Max was born, Zuckerberg penned a moving open letter to his baby girl:
“Welcome to the world! Your mom and I are so excited to see who you will become,” he began.
Zuckerberg then referenced the viral letter that he wrote to Max, before revealing that he’d like to take a slightly different tone this time around.
When your sister was born, we wrote a letter about the world we hoped she and now you will grow up in — a world with better education, fewer diseases, stronger communities, and greater equality … We’re optimists about your generation and the future, the billionaire CEO wrote.
Zuckerberg concludes with an ode to the magic of child that’s sure bring a tear to any parent’s eye:
“You will be busy when you’re older, so I hope you take time to smell all the flowers and put all the leaves you want in your bucket now. I hope you read your favorite Dr. Seuss books so many times you start inventing your own stories about the Vipper of Vipp.
“I hope you ride the carousel with Max until you’ve tamed every color horse. I hope you run as many laps around our living room and yard as you want.
“And then I hope you take a lot of naps. I hope you’re a great sleeper. And I hope even in your dreams you can feel how much we love you.
“Childhood is magical. You only get to be a child once, so don’t spend it worrying too much about the future. You’ve got us for that, and we’ll do everything we possibly can to make sure the world is a better place for you and all children in your generation.”
Not only is it a powerful message of love from a devoted parent, it’s also a potent reminder that not every Facebook post has to be about politics, people, damn!
We hope Mayweather and McGregor fight again just so we can have another one hour break from Trump talk in our timeline.
Make it happen, you two!
It’s a step toward redeeming yourselves for lifetimes of douche-baggery.
Oh, and, um … congratulations to Mark and Priscilla.
Sorry, we got a little sidetracked there.
Friday, May 26, 2017
Mark Zuckerberg Finally Gets Harvard Degree, James Earl Jones Too! (PHOTOS)
Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook and made billions upon billions, but he never did get a degree from Harvard … until now. Mark was presented with an honorary Doctor of Laws degree Thursday at what would’ve been his alma mater if he hadn’t…
Mark Zuckerberg Finally Gets Harvard Degree, James Earl Jones Too! (PHOTOS)
Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook and made billions upon billions, but he never did get a degree from Harvard … until now. Mark was presented with an honorary Doctor of Laws degree Thursday at what would’ve been his alma mater if he hadn’t…
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
Mark Zuckerberg Rides NASCAR Shotgun with Dale Earnhardt Jr. ... "HOLY S**T!!!" (VIDEO)
Dale Earnhardt Jr. just made Mark Zuckerberg drop an S-bomb … taking the Facebook creator on his first ride on a NASCAR track … and it blew the billionaire’s mind. Zuck hooked up with Dale Jr. at Charlotte Motor Speedway on Facebook Live…
Friday, December 23, 2016
Avril Lavigne to Mark Zuckerberg: Stop Bullying Nickelback!
If you’ve been anywhere in the vicinity of an Internet-capable device in the past 12 months, you know that 2016 was an absolute sh-tshow of a year.
In fact, we’ve reached the point where jokes about how bad 2016 was have made the list of things that sucked about 2016.
Fortunately, like an angel who fell to Earth and crash-landed in a Hot Topic, Avril Lavigne is here to save the day with unintentional hilarity by kicking off the most ridiculous and one-sided celebrity feud in recent memory:
The songstress and poet laureate of sk8r boi’s everywhere is married to Nickelback frontman Chad Kroger, a coupling that somehow didn’t bring about the End Times.
Short of both members of the Insane Clown Posse entering into a polygamous union with Meghan Trainor, it’s impossible to imagine a marriage that would be more horrifying to music fans, and yet, the former Mrs. Lavigne-Kroger seems oblivious to the fact that folks aren’t particularly fond of her ex-husband’s strained howls and “embarrassing Facebook memory”-caliber lyrics.
One would think that at this point she would just shrug off jokes about the fact that Chad’s name is listed in thesauruses as the antonym of “music,” but apparently punk rawk badittude never takes a day off.
Earlier this week, Facebook founder and Jesse Eisenberg impressionist Mark Zuckerberg posted a video in which he shows off his Morgan Freeman-voiced A.I. home assistant, Jarvis.
At one point in the video, the Zuck shows that even billionaires can’t resist the occasional bite of low-hanging fruit when he takes a jab at the band everyone, well … not loves to hate. Just hates, really.
When he asks Jarvis/Freeman to “play some good Nickelback songs,” the computer responds:
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Jarvis said. “There are no good Nickelback songs.”
“Good. That was actually a test,” Zuckerberg responds.
“How about just play some songs that our whole family likes.”
Kind of a dated reference, but Mark is a purveyor of #FakeNews, not a comedian.
(That was a joke, Zuck. Please don’t publish our private messages in retaliation.)
Anyway, you’d think that sort of thing would roll right off Avril’s back these days, but apparently not:
Lavigne posted the above note to Zuckerberg on Twitter (ironic use of social media burn!), presumably while snarling.
Avril tagged “@facebook” in the post, just so no one would think that she’s addressing Ruffalo or one of the other famous Marks with whom she’s not actually on first-name terms.
The strange part of this isn’t that Avril attempted to shame Zuckerberg for making a joke at the expense of a bunch of middle-aged straight, white millionaires by also tagging anti-bullying organizations.
No, what’s really weird is that Lavigne and Kroeger broke up last year, and yet she’s still fighting his social media fights for him.
We can’t figure it out!
Why’d ya have to go and make things so complicated, Avril?
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Kanye West: $53 Million in Debt, Asks Mark Zuckerberg to Invest in Him!
We had reached a point where we thought there was nothing Kanye West could say that would shock us anymore.
We were wrong.
Of all the things that have come out of his fingers (because he tweets, you know), we never expected this:
Wait. What?
Is this a joke? Kanye doesn’t typically act the comedian, and the tweet didn’t have much of a humorous ring to it.
However, he posted it just prior to his appearance last night on Saturday Night Live, so maybe he was attempting to be funny? If so, he really isn’t good at it.
Just before posting the confounding message, Kanye tweeted:
Also a departure from Kanye’s typical ego-driven tweets, which normally contain self-aggrandizing language about his genius or brutal takedowns of critics.
Then, as we’re scratching our heads trying to make sense of it all, Kanye issues a plea to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg:
Okay, well that last one sounds like Kanye at least.
Still, it’s hard to believe this man is broke. Kanye’s a successful musician and charges ridiculous prices for items in his Yeezy clothing line, plus he’s married to Kim Kardashian, whose estimated net worth is $ 85 million.
The rapper certainly has a reputation for living large, and we’re sure his grand spectacle of a fashion show last Thursday cost a pretty penny – word has it he hired 1,200 extras to appear in the event, not including the models.
Could this be part of the reason he and Kim have been fighting of late? We can’t imagine the image-conscious reality star is pleased with her husband divulging information about their finances like that.
The obvious joke would be to quote a line from Kanye’s most famous song, “Gold Digger,” but we’ll resist.
Kanye’s made us hate him on numerous occasions, but we do hope he figures out this mess – or his tweet was in jest.
What do you say, Zuckerberg?
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Mark Zuckerberg & Priscilla Chan Welcome Baby Girl!
The man who brought Facebook into the world, now has an even bigger accomplishment to be proud of:
The billionaire tech mogul shared the news of Priscilla Chan’s pregnancy via a touching and surprisingly candid Facebook status (of course) back in July.
Moments ago he informed his millions of “friends” that he and Chan have welcomed a baby girl named Max with a similarly heartfelt open letter to his new daughter:
“Your mother and I don’t yet have the words to describe the hope you give us for the future.”
“Your new life is full of promise, and we hope you will be happy and healthy so you can explore it fully. You’ve already given us a reason to reflect on the world we hope you live in.
“Our generation grew up in classrooms where we all learned the same things at the same pace regardless of our interests or needs.
“Your generation will set goals for what you want to become – like an engineer, health worker, writer or community leader. You’ll have technology that understands how you learn best and where you need to focus.
“You’ll advance quickly in subjects that interest you most, and get as much help as you need in your most challenging areas.”
“You’ll explore topics that aren’t even offered in schools today. Your teachers will also have better tools and data to help you achieve your goals.
“And we can only focus on serving this community and this mission because we are surrounded by loving family, supportive friends and amazing colleagues.”
“We hope you will have such deep and inspiring relationships in your life too.
“Max, we love you and feel a great responsibility to leave the world a better place for you and all children.”
“We wish you a life filled with the same love, hope and joy you give us. We can’t wait to see what you bring to this world.”
You can read Zuckerberg’s full letter to little Max on his Facebook page.
Congrats to Mark and Priscilla, not only for welcoming a new life into the world, but for taking the occasion as an opportunity to reflect on how each of us can help make this planet a better place, and sharing their insights with the Internet’s largest community.
Sounds like you have some pretty cool parents, Max.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
White House State Dinner -- Even Mark Zuckerberg Dresses Up!!! (VIDEO)
Z STAFF
Zuckerberg and wife Pricilla sauntered into The White House for a State Dinner honoring the Prez of China.
Lee Daniels also showed up with his mom, and was quick to express his satisfaction with the “Empire” premiere … not so quick to talk about the lawsuit Sean Penn filed against him.
And Donald Trump … well, he was checkin’ out the digs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)