Showing posts with label Scientists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scientists. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Spiders Could Eat Every Human on Earth, Scientists Confirm

We hope you’re sitting down for the following report.


Actually: We hope you’re sitting down for the following report AND you’ve checked to make sure no spiders are nearby prior to popping your squat.


Because these irritating animals just got a whole lot scarier…




a spider


First, a recent entomological survey of North Carolina houses turned up spiders in 100 percent of them. Yes, 100 percent. That is every… single… home.


The same survey found that 68 percent of bathrooms and more than three-quarters of bedrooms were at least somewhat infested with these creatures.


Okay, fine. Whatever, you may be thinking.


Spiders are annoying, but it’s not as though they inflict any real damage… right?


Tell that to European biologists Martin Nyffeler and Klaus Birkhofer.


These scientists just published an estimate in the journal the Science of Nature that says the world’s spiders consume somewhere between 400 million and 800 million tons of prey in any given year.


That sounds like a lot.


But we’re guessing you don’t fully comprehend just how much that actually is.


These figures mean that spiders eat as much meat over a 12-month period as all seven billion humans on the planet combined, who, the authors note, consume a mere 400 million tons of meat and fish per year.




another spider


Kind of gross, perhaps you’re not saying to yourself.


But still. How does this really affect me?


Consider:


The total biomass of all adult human being on the planet is estimated to be 287 million tons.


Tack on another 75-100 tons for all the kids running around and it’s still not equal to the total amount of food eaten by spiders in a given year.


In other words, just to break it down and be as clear as possible:


Spiders could eat all of us – every last one of us – and still be hungry. Heck, we’d serve as mere appetizers to these animals before they moved on to their real meal.




a third spider


Nyffler and Birkhofer studied how many spiders reside in a square meter of land for all the main habitat types on Earth and then considered average amount of food consumed by spiders of different sizes in a given year.


They reached the disgusting and frightening conclusions above as a result, along with the following:


  • The global average spider density stands at about 131 spiders per square meter.

  • Deserts and tundra are among the habitats home to the fewest number of spiders.

  • In more “favorable” conditions, Nyffler and Birkhofer says you can find over 1,000 spiders per square meter.

  • All the spiders in the world combine to weigh over 25 million tons.

  • Spiders consume approximately 10 percent of their body weight in food per day.

Is that a lot?


It would be equivalent to a 200-pound man eating 20 pounds of meat. Everyday.


Of course, it’s important to keep in mind that spiders primarily feast on bugs, meaning their impressive hunger leads to fewer pests in the garden, fewer mosquitoes in the yard and fewer flies in the house.


They don’t actually crave human flesh.


Yet.


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Thursday, January 26, 2017

Doomdsay Clock Reset as Atomic Scientists Warn of Apocalypse

Been a rough year so far, right?


You could probably go for a bit of good news amidst all the talk of border walls, Muslim bans, and Mary Tyler Moore getting cast in that big sitcom in the sky?


Well, we hate to break it you (although you really should’ve figured it out from the headline), but you’ve come to the wrong place!



In case you’re not familiar with the Doomsday Clock, rest assured that it’s every bit as terrifying as it sounds.


Started in 1947 by  The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists’ Science and Security Board (If that’s too much to remember, just think, “really smart people.”), the clock is meant to serve as a indicator of how close we are to the end of the world.


Today, it inched forward 30 seconds, bringing it to 11:57:30, the closest it’s been to midnight since 1953, when both the U.S. and Soviet Union tested hydrogen bombs.


(In case symbolism isn’t your strong suit, midnight on the Doomsday Clock equals ka-blooey.)


Today’s move has been described as “unprecedented,” and not surprisingly, it has more than a little to do with the election of Donald Trump.



“Make no mistake, this has been a difficult year,” Rachel Bronson, executive director and publisher of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists


In its official statement about how colossally f–ked we all are, the board had this to say:


Over the course of 2016, the global security landscape darkened as the international community failed to come effectively to grips with humanity’s most pressing existential threats, nuclear weapons and climate change …


“This already-threatening world situation was the backdrop for a rise in strident nationalism worldwide in 2016, including in a U.S. presidential campaign during which the eventual victor, Donald Trump, made disturbing comments about the use and proliferation of nuclear weapons and expressed disbelief in the overwhelming scientific consensus on climate change.”



So there you have it folks. 


We’re a little bit closer to the end of the world, and darn it, if those pesky Russians aren’t involved again.


It’s been all down with them since Yakov Smirnoff blew up, but electing their brutal dictator’s BFF as our president probably didn’t help matters.


But hey, at least those of you live along our southern border will have a big, dumb $ 14 billion monument to racism to look as it as your face melts off!



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