You might not think that a guy whose dramatic breakup that involved a gun would be in a position to be handing out advice to anyone.
But what Tarek El Moussa has to say here, after finalizing his divorce, is genuinely good advice. … Mostly.
And he’s hoping that fans will take it to heart.
In a handwritten note that he photographed and shared on Instagram (thankfully, in print, rather than that eldritch script known as cursive), Tarek El Moussa of Flip or Flop fame shares his thoughts on feelings and he hopes that his fans will share his message.
He says that he wrote this from the heart.
“Life is a series of ups and downs and there is nothing we can do about it.”
That’s good advice for a lot of people. it’s also a total bummer.
“When you are on a ‘high’ you feel nothing but happiness and positivity, and on the flip side, no pun intended, when you are on a ‘low,’ you forget what that high feeling felt like.”
One, let’s be clear that he’s not talking about drug-induced highs, just happiness and other positive emotions.
Two, he definitely chose to say flip side, there are a ton of ways to say what he did and only one references the show that made him famous.
“When you experience a ‘low,’ understand it is a ‘feeling’ and not your reality.”
It almost sounds like he’s describing bipolar disorder, but we’re not going to try to diagnose him from our keyboards.
“How do you overcome these feelings? I find that written words are a big part of understanding what you are feeling.”
Introspection can be tough, and many people do find that having to articulate their thoughts and emotions helps them to better sort through and identify their state of being.
“When you are on a ‘high,’ write down how you are feeling, how you are thinking, and what is causing happiness in your life.”
That’s great advice, though most people are too focused on enjoying what they’re doing to analyze their joy.
“At the same time, when you are ‘low,’ write down how you feel, what you are thinking about, and what is causing pain in your life.”
Sometimes, people are unhappy but aren’t sure why.
“You must learn to differentiate the two.”
Here’s where some of his advice sounds more like it’s weird and a little self-help oriented.
“You must tell yourself while you’re feeling ‘low’ that it isn’t real, it’s not your reality.”
If we’re talking about chemical depression, sure. But a lot of the time, the best advice is just that your situation will get better. But … it is real.
“When you are feeling ‘low,’ go back and read your notes from when you were feeling ‘high’ and do the things you did and figure out what made you happy when you were on a ‘high."”
That won’t work with depression (depressed folks struggle to enjoy the things that once made them happy).
“Sometimes the best counselor is yourself.”
That can be true, though not always.
“Trust yourself, trust your notes, and believe what you wrote. … You are the one that wrote them.”
That’s … definitely true.
But we think that what he means here is that, if you’re at a low point and find it hard to believe that happiness will ever again be possible, reading your own words as they describe your own happiness could provide hope.
Recently, Tarek El Moussa spoke with Entertainment Tonight and described the ways in which he believes this his very public breakup has made him a better person.
“In general, through the process of my separation and divorce, it’s been a year and a half.”
Yep. And what a wild ride it’s been, for the couple and for their children. But Tarek and Christina get along for the sake of their children, so that’s good.
“I came out of this thing stronger, more present and healthier than I’ve ever been because I did everything possible to reevaluate who I am and who I want to be.”
That’s so important. And we think that his self-help note is evidence of that.
“And the conclusion of that is that I want to be the absolute best father possible.”
It’s good that his priorities are in order.
