Joe Giudice: Final Days as a Free Man to Be Featured on Bravo Special

It’s been less than two months since Teresa Giudice was released from prison, but her family’s joy at having her back home has been short-lived.

The problem is that next month, Teresa’s husband, Joe Giudice, will turn himself over to authorities to begin serving his own 41-month sentence. 

The family is already bracing itself for Joe’s departure, which of course will involve a Bravo camera crew and an emotional send-off that execs are hoping will translate to big ratings.

Yes, thanks to the Giudices, pre-prison parties are the new weddings, and while the public is considerably less interested in Joe than Teresa, Real Housewives of New Jersey producers are still hoping that audiences will tune in to see Juicy Joe jet off to jail.

“Joe doesn’t want a lot of hoopla as he goes in,” a source close to the situation tells Radar Online, adding that his last night as a free man will consist of “an intimate family dinner.”

“The network hopes the tender family time will result in big ratings,” says the insider.

We think they may be disappointed.

Unless Teresa decides to finally confront Joe about cheating on her while she was in jail, we don’t think Juicy’s send-off will deliver the sort of dramatic fireworks that translate to a big audience.

View Slideshow: 23 Teresa Giudice GIFs That Should Worry Her Fellow Inmates (and Everyone Else)

Khloe Kardashian: Talk Dirty To Me, Or Get Out Of My Bed!

You have to admire the girl for putting it all out there.

On her website, KhloeWithaK.com, Khloe Kardashian told subscribers what turns her on.

“I believe in dirty talk,” Kardashian wrote.

“Communicating during sex is a MUST, and I actually think it’s rude if you’re not vocal, LOL.”

No wallflowers or Shy Ronnies need apply.

“If my guy isn’t vocal, I’m not excited,” Kardashian pointed out.

“How am I supposed to know if he’s enjoying himself???”

Talk about your fantasies, El Nino.  Hell, talk about the GOP.  Whatever you do, just keep talking.

“I don’t even care what you actually say, either—to me that’s not the important part,” Kardashian revealed. 

“You don’t have to come up with crazy sh** to say. It’s OK to just get louder if you’re enjoying something.  I think that’s what you should do! It’s a sexy way to learn what turns your partner on, especially if you’re newly together.”

So many thoughts running through my head.

“If I’m with someone who’s not vocal during sex, I’ll legit say, ‘Do you like this?’ in the middle of it, haha,” Kardashian joked (except she’s serious).

So speak up.  Let her know you have a pulse.

“If the person is silent, I’m like, ‘This is awkward. I feel like I’m violating you!!!’

“This isn’t f***ing work, honey! Enjoy it or get out!!!"”

View Slideshow: 11 Times Khloe Kardashian Taught Us The Value of Tough Love

Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth: MARRIED!!!???

Over the past few weeks, the status of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s relationship has been harder to follow than a Kanye West Twitter rant. 

Okay, okay, not quite that hard. But close.

They’re back together. Hold up, they’re engaged! Oh, actually, they’re not engaged at all. Then, Miley demands a proposal. In fact, she demands a baby, dammit!

Got that? Good, because none of it matters anymore, now that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are totally MARRIED!

Or something.

While Miley was visiting her beau/fiance/publicity stunt in Australia, the couple allegedly held a “secret sunset wedding ceremony over the winter holidays,” a source told Life & Style.

According to this source, the pair “have told close friends that they’re already married. It was a spur-of-the-moment. Now they both refer to each other as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband.’”

Apparently, it was Liam’s idea, and guests included his brothers Chris and Luke Hemsworth, with Chris’ wife Elsa Pataky serving as the “unofficial matron of honor” as the two exchanged vows on the sand.

“Liam asked everyone in his family to a candle [sic],” the source says, before they “lit each one, saying it represented the eternal flame of their love.”

(Pause for collective eye roll/vomit break.)

But here’s the best part. The pair allegedly exchanged “wedding bands that had been fashioned from palm fronds.” 

Palm fronds! Okay, we admit, that totally sounds like something Miley would do. But she probably didn’t.

However, this story closes by saying that palm fronds aren’t legally binding and that the “wedding” was not a real-and-for-true wedding, but some kind of, I dunno, play acting that served as prelude to the real wedding, and that the couple would make it official in March.

Womp-womp.

Sadly, we haven’t seen Miley posting any tropical leaf-rings to her social media accounts. In fact, a quick peek at her Instagram would lead you to believe she’s getting married to her cat. 

Which, ya know, is totally cool, too.

View Slideshow: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth: Relive the Romance!

Kim Kardashian: Hiding Her Money in Case Kanye Goes Broke?

As you may have heard, Kanye West admitted to being $ 53 million in debt during a bizarre Twitter rant posted on Saturday night.

Given his wife’s well-documented obsession with material wealth (we ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold-digger…), we imagine Mrs. Kim Kardashian-West is less than pleased about her man’s financial woes.

The rumors about Kim filing for divorce from Kanye are probably bogus, but if you think she’s not looking out for herself and her kids financially as her idiot husband continues to make the world “more dope” by throwing all his money in $ 1,200 sweatpants, then you don’t know Kimberly.

“She feels good that she has her own money if things ever go south,” a source tells People magazine.

“But of course it stresses her out a little that they even have to think about finances at all.”

We don’t blame her. One would think that of the many, many (many) stresses that would come along with being married to Kanye West, money problems wouldn’t be among them.

Fortunately, Kim remains the family’s top breadwinner.

According to estimates by Forbes magazine, the sex-tape-star-turned-multi-media-mogul brought in $ 53 million last year, dwarfing Kanye’s $ 20 million in earnings.

“Their finances are separate, but they don’t keep secrets from each other, and when it comes to things for the kids, the house they’re working on, they share expenses,” says the insider.

Hopefully, Kim will continue to keep a firm barrier between her finances and those of her deeply troubled husband.

View Slideshow: 45 Kute and Kuddly Kimye Photos