Over the past few weeks, the status of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s relationship has been harder to follow than a Kanye West Twitter rant.
Okay, okay, not quite that hard. But close.
They’re back together. Hold up, they’re engaged! Oh, actually, they’re not engaged at all. Then, Miley demands a proposal. In fact, she demands a baby, dammit!
Got that? Good, because none of it matters anymore, now that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are totally MARRIED!
Or something.
While Miley was visiting her beau/fiance/publicity stunt in Australia, the couple allegedly held a “secret sunset wedding ceremony over the winter holidays,” a source told Life & Style.
According to this source, the pair “have told close friends that they’re already married. It was a spur-of-the-moment. Now they both refer to each other as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband.’”
Apparently, it was Liam’s idea, and guests included his brothers Chris and Luke Hemsworth, with Chris’ wife Elsa Pataky serving as the “unofficial matron of honor” as the two exchanged vows on the sand.
“Liam asked everyone in his family to a candle [sic],” the source says, before they “lit each one, saying it represented the eternal flame of their love.”
(Pause for collective eye roll/vomit break.)
But here’s the best part. The pair allegedly exchanged “wedding bands that had been fashioned from palm fronds.”
Palm fronds! Okay, we admit, that totally sounds like something Miley would do. But she probably didn’t.
However, this story closes by saying that palm fronds aren’t legally binding and that the “wedding” was not a real-and-for-true wedding, but some kind of, I dunno, play acting that served as prelude to the real wedding, and that the couple would make it official in March.
Womp-womp.
Sadly, we haven’t seen Miley posting any tropical leaf-rings to her social media accounts. In fact, a quick peek at her Instagram would lead you to believe she’s getting married to her cat.
Which, ya know, is totally cool, too.
