Kourtney Kardashian: Here"s 87 Things in My House You"ll Never Afford!

Kourtney Kardashian has opened up her Calabasas mansion to Architectural Digest to share 87 of her favorite decor items.

We"ll just give you a spoiler alert now: none of them came from IKEA.

Kourtney and her interior designer, Martyn Lawrence Bullard (who naturally has a British accent and spells his name with a "y") go room by room to show off all the overpriced things.

She starts in the entryway, moves on to the kitchen, then finishes the tour in the living room.

Among the tidbits you"ll likely have to auction off your firstborn child in order to afford are:

• Vintage Belgian mirrors 


• Custom made entryway table by an artist in Venice, Calif.


• Stainless steel kitchen sink with an Inox single level mixer with pullout spray


• Heritage Number 14 kettle


• Kelly Wearstler bowl, gifted to her by sis Khloe


• Museum-quality Oscar Niemeyer chair designed in 1971


• Damien Hirst diamond dust skull, a Christmas gift from Scott Disick


• Books! Lots of books! (For display only, we"re fairly certain.)

I don"t know about you, but I don"t even know what some of those words mean.

"I love having my kids" toys everywhere," Kourtney reads from a script.

However, we detect only one "toy," which carefully rolls into frame on the limestone floor: a mini Rolls Royce.

"My kids amazing art is always on display," she tells the camera, and we do see drawings pinned to the Sub-Zero fridge, most likely created with heirloom crayons made with organic paraffin. 

"It"s very chic but practical," concludes the reality star, which leads me to believe she and I have very different definitions of the word "practical."

Looks like Kourtney"s hot bod isn"t the only think her ex Scott Disick"s been missing.

After seeing the riches involved, we"re certain Kourt keeps her fortress locked away from her thief mother Kris Jenner, who was accused of stealing marble from Kim Kardashian"s home.

Wendy Williams to Kylie Jenner: Sit Down, Brat!

Usually, when Wendy Williams comments on celebrities" private lives, her insights run the gamut from wrong to astonishingly wrong.

Williams thinks nothing of body shaming famous women and issuing over-the-top insults that make Kanye West look sane and stable, so you can imagine our surprise when she actually took the right side on an issue this morning.

In case you haven"t heard, Kylie Jenner and Kylie Minogue are involved in the most unexpected celebrity feud in recent memory as a result of Jenner"s attempt to trademark her first name for use on the many, many product lines she"s planning to launch in the near future.

Naturally, Minogue (who"s mega-famous in Australia, and has been doing the celebrity thing for about three decades longer than Jenner) took issue with this, filed legal docs, and threw some shade at KJ on Twitter.

Of course, Wendy took it upon herself to choose a side, and for once, she chose correctly.

She identifies Jenner"s actions as those of "an entitled little girl" (read: brat), who"s beginning to really show the negative side-effects of growing up surrounded by yes men.

Wendy"s comments on the Kylie vs. Kylie debacle begin around the 3:05 mark. Watch, and be amazed at her ability to not be wrong.

Lorne Michaels BREAKS SILENCE on Kanye West SNL Meltdown

The sheer quantity of tantrums, potshots and straight-up delusional proclamations that have exited Kanye West’s mouth this year have become too numerous to count.

Kanye has chosen Twitter as the primary outlet for his word vomit, but a few weeks ago we actually got to hear Kanye in the midst of a meltdown at Saturday Night Live on the night of his performance.

The rapper was upset that the stage design had been changed on him without notice and was understandably upset.

But in his expletive-filled tirade, he called Taylor Swift a “fake ass,” shouted that he was 50 percent more influential than Pablo Picasso and Paul the Apostle and screamed “Don’t f*ck with me!” numerous times.

Lorne Michaels, SNL creator and executive producer, has now broken his silence on the Kanye incident, and his response sounds a lot like the work of a seasoned PR pro.

“That happened in his dressing room,” Michaels told E! News. “Kanye’s been on the show a lot of years, and it’s always different. He’s an artist, you know? A great artist.”

Actually, it sounds like Kanye crafted his response. Guess he’s got Michaels drinking the Kool-Aid, too (or he’s just covering his own butt).

“He just always delivers, and he’s Kanye,” Michaels added.

Let’s all try this at work: throw an uncensored, no-holds-barred, spitting hissy fit, then use the excuse of “I’m an artist, and I’m me” and see how that goes over.

If you’re as crafty as Kanye, your co-workers will be kissing your ass and praising your creativity in no time. Expect a promotion.

View Slideshow: Kanye West Rants on Twitter, Defends Taylor Swift Lyric

Jessa Duggar Celebrates Baby Spurgeon"s 4-Month Birthday on Instagram!

After enduring what she’s described as the most difficult year of her life, Jessa Duggar is understandably eager to seize any opportunity to celebrate.

And that’s just what she did yesterday while observing a family milestone on Instagram:

Jessa posted the above photo, along with a caption reading:

“Mr. Spurgeon will be 4 months old this week! Yayyyy!!! “Lol! He ain’t gotta clue, but Papi and I are celebrating for him over a pint of white chocolate raspberry ice cream @loblollycreamery #CelebrateAllTheMilestones #AnyExcuseForIceCream. Please tell me I’m not the only one.”

Clearly, Jessa and Ben are in good spirits, but that look on Spurgeon’s face seems to say, “Are you guys sure it’s too late to go back and change my name?”

We kid! Lil Spurge might be saddled with an unfortunate moniker, but at least he’ll grow up famous!

It was confirmed last week that the Duggars will be returning to television on March 15, with a full order of episodes of their spinoff series Jill and Jessa: Counting On.

Despite the title, the series will reportedly feature most of the Duggar siblings, and allow them to more thoroughly address the conitnuing fallout from the Josh Duggar sex scandals.

So despite a whirlwind 12 months that would test anyone’s strength, Jessa has plenty of reason to smile these days – and plenty of excuses to indulge her sweet tooth.

View Slideshow: Jessa Duggar Baby Photos: Welcome #BabySeewald!