Jared Fogle: Shot Down in Court, Still Considered a Giant Pervert

Jared Fogle is going to have to keep paying inmates to protect him in prison.

Because the former Subway spokesperson isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Fogle had filed documents with the U.S. Court of Appeals to shorten his prison stay, having been sentenced last November to 15 months behind bars.

His argument?

That the punishment was too harsh because he isn’t that into child pornography.

It wasn’t as though he was going around distributing dirty photos and videos of young kids or anything.

Instead, Fogle argues, he merely showed one child porn video to one person he was dating, and he did so while they were in a hotel room.

(We’re not going to bother speculating what kind of relationship this was because… EWWWW.)

However, the U.S. Court of Appeals is not run by Judge Aaron Persky.

It has determined that one act of child pornography is enough to warrant Fogle’s original sentence, denying his attempt to lighten his punishment.

They also shot down his claim that he merely fantasized and thought about kids in sexual situation (again: EWWWWW) and that one should not be sent to jail for what is going on in one’s mind.

But the judges disagreed again with this notion.

They stated the court was correct at the trial when it considered his “obsession with child pornography and having sex with minors.”

It’s actually a somewhat interesting topic to debate, whether someone ought to be legally punished without having taken too many illegal actions.

But does anyone really want to defend an individual who fantasizes about child pornography and has evidence of it on his computer?

Neither do we.

View Slideshow: 20 Celebrities You Probably Want to Keep Away From Your Children

Kailyn Lowry: I Did NOT Cheat on Javi Marroquin!

Ever since Teen Mom 2 fans learned that Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin are getting divorced, speculation about what caused the split has been running rampant.

We may never know exactly why Kailyn and Javi to call it quits, but there’s certainly no shortage of theories.

Many fans have been placing the blame squarely on Kailyn’s shoulders, claiming the 24-year-old mother of two became romantically involved with someone else shortly after her husband shipped off to Qatar for a tour of duty with the U.S. Air Force.

The most popular theory seems to be that Kailyn left Javi for their longtime mutual friend Becky Hayter.

Kailyn sort of invited the speculation when she posted a photo of herself kissing Becky, then tweeted about how she doesn’t want to be labeled as gay or straight, and just wants to “love people.”

Now, however, she’s clarifying that she wasn’t romantically interested in anyone when she and Javi made the decision to go their separate ways.

“I didn’t leave Javi for anyone though,” Kailyn tweeted earlier this week.

Indeed, scenes from recent episodes of Teen Mom 2 that capture the couple’s tense final weeks together do make it seem as though infidelity (at least on Kailyn’s part) was one of the few problems they weren’t dealing with:

Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin Call It Quits

And given the recently-confirmed fact that Kailyn and Javi have been separated since December means that she and Hayter would’ve had plenty of time to form a relationship, even if they didn’t begin dating until after her split from Marroquin.

Again, we may never know exactly why Kailyn and Javi chose to end their marriage.

Or she may reveal all in the upcoming season 7 reunion special.

Whatever the case, Kailyn isn’t a compulsive liar like some of her co-stars (Looking at you, Jenelle!) so we tend to believe her on this sort of thing.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online to see Kailyn and Javi in happier times.

View Slideshow: Kailyn Lowry: Timeline of a Turbulent Teen Mom Life

Kailyn Lowry: I Did NOT Cheat on Javi Marroquin!

Ever since Teen Mom 2 fans learned that Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin are getting divorced, speculation about what caused the split has been running rampant.

We may never know exactly why Kailyn and Javi to call it quits, but there’s certainly no shortage of theories.

Many fans have been placing the blame squarely on Kailyn’s shoulders, claiming the 24-year-old mother of two became romantically involved with someone else shortly after her husband shipped off to Qatar for a tour of duty with the U.S. Air Force.

The most popular theory seems to be that Kailyn left Javi for their longtime mutual friend Becky Hayter.

Kailyn sort of invited the speculation when she posted a photo of herself kissing Becky, then tweeted about how she doesn’t want to be labeled as gay or straight, and just wants to “love people.”

Now, however, she’s clarifying that she wasn’t romantically interested in anyone when she and Javi made the decision to go their separate ways.

“I didn’t leave Javi for anyone though,” Kailyn tweeted earlier this week.

Indeed, scenes from recent episodes of Teen Mom 2 that capture the couple’s tense final weeks together do make it seem as though infidelity (at least on Kailyn’s part) was one of the few problems they weren’t dealing with:

Kailyn Lowry and Javi Marroquin Call It Quits

And given the recently-confirmed fact that Kailyn and Javi have been separated since December means that she and Hayter would’ve had plenty of time to form a relationship, even if they didn’t begin dating until after her split from Marroquin.

Again, we may never know exactly why Kailyn and Javi chose to end their marriage.

Or she may reveal all in the upcoming season 7 reunion special.

Whatever the case, Kailyn isn’t a compulsive liar like some of her co-stars (Looking at you, Jenelle!) so we tend to believe her on this sort of thing.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online to see Kailyn and Javi in happier times.

View Slideshow: Kailyn Lowry: Timeline of a Turbulent Teen Mom Life

Khloe Kardashian: My Body"s Too Hot To Be Pregnant Right Now!

She’s keeping it right and tight, so there’s no room right now for a bun in the oven.

Khloe Kardashian must be at the point where she’s ready to start a collection of fairy tales based on the number of lies written about her on a weekly basis.

This week’s issue of Life & Style has Kardashian on the cover, beaming from ear-to-ear as the headline reads, “I’m having a baby!”

Oh that’s marvelous.  And who, pray tell, is the father?

“Got my fingers crossed!” Scott Disick joked on Instagram, as he’s shown as one of the five potential dads in this Mama Mia fiasco.

The truth is, Kardashian isn’t pregnant, nor does she want to be.  

For now.

“She would love nothing more than to be a mother but it’s just not true,” a source told Hollywood Life.

“For now being in the best shape of her life and not being in a deeply committed relationship is keeping her happy.”

View Slideshow: Khloe Kardashian Gym Selfies

Kardashian has worked hard over the past few years to eat clean and tone up, which inspired not only a book (Strong Looks Better Naked), but landed her a makeover show on E!, Revenge Body.

“She would love to make that happen sooner than later and it will in good time but she has no bun in the oven,” the source added.

Of course, one person who wouldn’t be thrilled about the news would be Kardashian’s estranged husband, Lamar Odom.  She filed for divorce a second time in May, after pausing proceedings to take care of the former NBA star when he suffered a near-fatal overdose.

“Lamar certainly hopes Khloe’s not pregnant,” another source told the site after the cover story hit newsstand.

“He simply couldn’t take the pain of watching her begin a family with someone other than him.”

Unfortunately for Odom, it will happen at some point.  Just not right now.

View Slideshow: Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom: Romance Rewind … Then Unwind