Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Kylie Jenner 2017 Calendar: Happy Naked New Year!


For all the many complaints about 2016, we really didn"t hear anyone griping about the lack of semi-nude teenagers.


But in these troubled times, each of us must do his or her part to make the world an incrementally better place, and for Kylie Jenner, that means stripping down for the kind of photos that look like they should be in an evidence locker somewhere.


It probably would"ve been better if she had just kept her clothes on and talked her brother-in-law out of meeting with the architect of our Flamin" Hot apocalypse, but we"ll take what we can get.


So to quote the inscription of America"s future tombstone: Enough doom and gloom. Let"s get to the T&A! 


Enjoy the raciest from Kylie"s 2017 calendar, shot by the Jared"s future cellmate himself, Terry Richardson:




1. Kylie Jenner: January 2017


Kylie jenner half naked with a snake

Each January, America’s favorite semi-nude teenager offers a large snake to the Gods of the New Year. We skipped the tradition in 2016, and look what happened.



2. Kylie Jenner: February 2017


Kylie jenner february 2017

This pic is somehow both peak Kylie Jenner AND peak Terry Richardson. It looks like it would be sticky if you touched it.



3. Kylie Jenner: March 2017


Kylie jenner march 2017

When millions of impoverished Irish made the treacherous trans-Atlantic journey to America in the 19th century, they promised their starving children a future full of shamrock pasties. True story.



4. Kylie Jenner: April 2017


Kylie jenner april 2017

If any woman under the age of 21 puts on that shirt and grabs her boob, Terry Richardson magically appears like Beetlejuice. Try it!



5. Kylie Jenner: May 2017


Kylie jenner may 2017

That looks like the worst bike-riding outfit in the world. Go pedal around in studded shorts and high-heeled boots for an hour and tell us how sexy you feel. We’ll wait.



6. Kylie Jenner: June 2017


Kylie jenner june 2017

Richardson included this pic on the off chance that there was anyone who wasn’t getting enough of a Lolita vibe from the others. There wasn’t.


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Justin Bieber"s Pissed, Makes Fun of Paparazzo"s Face (VIDEO)

Justin Bieber doesn’t like stupid questions, and if he thinks you’re asking one … he might say a thing or two about your stupid face. We got the Biebs shopping in Bev Hills Tuesday, and he was very sensitive about paparazzi talking to him about…


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Leah Messer: Fighting For Custody of Twins AGAIN?!

Back in October of 2015, Leah Messer lost custody of her twins, following an ugly legal battle with ex-husband Corey Simms and his new wife, Miranda Simms.


The Simms brought a number of complaints before the judge, the most damning of which was that Leah was unable to get her daughters to school on time.


Eventually, Leah and Corey agrred to split custody, and in the months since, the girls have divided their time between their parents’ homes.



After some rough patches, Leah has re-established herself as a caring and competent parent, which has led to rumors that she’ll soon return to court, this time seeking full custody.


Leah addressed those reports in a recent interview with Radar Online.


“Absolutely not,” she told the site when asked if she plans to try and alter her agreement with Simms.


“I think the way that it is right now is great. It works for both of the kids and us.”



“We actually co-parent great,” she said of Corey and Miranda.


“We get along good. We’re in a very good place.”


And it seems that goodwill doesn’t stop with Leah’s first husband.


Asked about her second baby daddy, Jeremy Calvert, Leah wasn’t quite as effusive, but still had only positive things to say:



Leah claimed that she and Calvert co-parent “pretty well,” though that could easily be a result of the fact that Calvert often has to travel for work, thus leaving Leah with primary custody rights to their daughter.


Naturally, Leah was asked about Jeremy’s engagement to Brooke Wehr, and though she’s been critical of the relationship in the past, Ms. Messer offered tentative congrats this time around:


“If they’re happy then I’m happy for them,” Leah said.


In a classic dodge to avoid follow-up questions, she then added:



“Honestly, I’m just focusing on myself and the girls. That’s the only thing I’m working on.”


She also reiterated that she’s single these days, and is not in the market for a new man.


Sounds like Leah may have really turned over a new leaf.


Watch Teen Mom 2 online to relive Leah’s very bumpy road to this point.


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Bruno Mars on Carpool Karaoke: Was It 24K Magic?

Bruno Mars has performed on Ellen, on Saturday Night Live and a halftime of the Super Bowl.


But now the artist has truly made it.



Because he appeared on Carpool Karaoke with James Corden on Tuesday night!


The insanely talented artist say shotgun alongside The Late Late Show host, mere days after Madonna did the same.


But Mars was able to hold his own against The Material Girl rather well, taking viewers on a funky journey through some of his greatest hits, from "Locked Out of Heaven" to "Versace on the Floor" to "Uptown Funk" to "If I Knew" to, of course, "24K Magic," his latest single.


Mars and Corden also found time to talk about the former’s ability to make any hat look good… his unusual dressing room demands … and why Spanx are an issue in Corden’s love life.


Yes, Spanx.



A few dance tips were provided, a few "shoulder moves" undertaken and one Elvis impression blew us away.


At what age did Mars start to impersonate The King?


And how did he used to rely on cards to pay rent?


WATCH AND LEARN NOW:


Bruno mars on carpool karaoke was it 24k magic
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