There was a time, not all that long ago, when the cast members of Jersey Shore were some of the hottest stars on TV.
Predictably, however, a bunch of fist-pumping self-proclaimed guidos who were most noteworthy for their love of tanning and ability to coin a wide array of obnoxious slang terms for sex were unable to sustain that level of popularity.
But just because The Situation is legally obligated to go door-to-door and inform his neighbors when he moves to a new town (we assume) that doesn’t mean the entire cast has disappeared into the gaping maw of post-fame obscurity:
Select members of the Seaside Heights crew assembled to celebrate Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola’s 30th birthday over the weekend.
(Side note: Did anyone on the show ever actually call her Sweetheart?)
As you can probably deduce from the blurry photo above, the booze flowed freely and Angelina Pivarnick is still persona non grata.
In fact, several cast members were excluded from what was primarily a ladies night, but Vinny Gudagnino was allowed to attend, because, well … everybody loves Vinny.
To anyone who watched the show, the fact that most of the men weren’t invited won’t come as much of a surprise.
We now know that the rumors about Sammi and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro being back together are bogus, so it makes sense that Ron-Ron wouldn’t be on hand guzzling his eponymous juice.
As for the rest of the crew, The Sitch is universally despised, while Pauly D is dating Aubrey O’Day, he has a kid now, and he’s actually managed to parlay his time at the Shore into a successful career as a DJ, so he’s got a lot on his plate at the moment.
Oh, and he’s 36 freakin’ years old.
You have to give MTV credit for concealing the fact that for most of the show’s run, Pauly and Mike were closer in age to the average Jersey Shore viewer’s parents than to the average Jersey Shore viewer.
Anyway, Snooki documented the hell out of the evening on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and probably MySpace and Friendster, too, because the thirst is extremely real these days.
She says that the more things change, the more they stay the same, and just because they’re all adulting these days, that doesn’t mean the crew forgot how to turn up.
“Hot messes, nothing’s changed,” Snooks wrote on Snapchat.
It’s like The Big Chill, but with more STDs.
Weirdly, we mean that as a compliment.
