Ever since we first learned that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are dating, the tabloid press has basically been playing the game of Life with tiny pictures of the couple glued to their little pink and blue pegs.
Just spin the wheel and report the outcome as an unconfirmed rumor!
Are Harry and Meghan engaged? Sure, why not!
Is Meghan pregnant with Harry’s baby? That royal blue baby peg didn’t just pop up in the backseat on its own!
Unfortunately, the British ‘bloids blew their load early on this one, and instead of just handing us a tissue and offering a stammered apology, they keep trying again with ever more ridiculous rumors.
It’s been just over six months since we first learned about the Harkle relationship, and the bullsh-t well is already in serious danger of running dry.
The solution, it seems, is for the gossip press to just go nuclear and bust out its most absurd MegMar story to date:
Life & Style is reporting today that not only is Meghan pregnant, she and her new BFF Kate Middleton are knocked up at the same time!
“Kate is telling those close to her that she’s thrilled to be pregnant again,” an “insider” tells the magazine.
“And Meghan and Harry confessed to friends that they can’t wait to start a family!”
The source goes on to say that Meghan is engaging in various pregnant activities that are making those around her go, “Yup, she’s totes pregnant!”
“Meghan’s friends are speculating that she’s pregnant because she’s avoiding alcohol and has been complaining about feeling nauseous over recent weeks,” the tipster claims.
“She’s barely leaving the house right now.”
Damn, they’re not even trying to make sense on this one.
So she’s trying to hide it, but she sits around telling her friends how nauseous she is?
And if she’s not leaving the house, how do they know she’s avoiding alcohol?
Did they show up unannounced with a bottle of Fireball and she failed to bust out the shot glasses?
L&S was so desperate for sources on this one that they even talked to Meghan’s perpetually thirsty sister Samantha Markle:
“Meghan will be attentive… [She] and Harry will be great parents,” Samantha told the magazine.
“She seems to be at a point in her life [where she] has…the skills to develop a happy, healthy child.”
Well, if the sister she hasn’t seen since the Clinton administration says it, it must be true!
Time to bust out the celebratory champagne, y’all!
Just don’t offer any to Meghan – she’s PREGNANT, ya know!
