The road from Teen Mom to living happily ever after isn’t exactly easy. No matter how much you love your children, life is usually full of heartbreak and disappointments. Having started off as a teenage mother only makes life’s challenges even tougher.
At 25, Kailyn Lowry is no longer a teen, but she’s definitly a mom — with another baby on the way. Now, Kailyn’s even talking about her pregnancy. The trouble is that her baby daddy, Chris Lopez, has expressed zero interest in being a father in any sense beyond biology.
And … it doesn’t sound like Kailyn’s taking it well. It’s actually worse than we thought.
So, Chris Lopez refuses to be on Teen Mom or be a dad at all.
HollywoodLife‘s source says that Kailyn isn’t willing to accept “no” for an answer from Chris Lopez.
“Kailyn is praying that Chris has a change of heart and he will want to be a dad after the baby is born.”
Oh no.
That sounds like denial.
She can pray all that she likes, but she should be accepting that Chris isn’t going to be in their lives — and making plans accordingly.
“Kailyn’s own father upped and left when she was really young, so she knows what it’s like to grow up without a dad, and she really doesn’t want the same for her baby.”
Different people handle that in different ways, but clearly it had a huge impact on Kailyn.
“Chris has said he wants nothing to do with Kailyn or his child, but she’s hoping against hope that he will change his mind once he sees photos of the baby.”
If she’s counting on that little tug of emotional manipulation and oxytocin to change his mind, she’s not going to like the results.
Anyone who starts off by peacing out only to agree to see their child after seeing a photo isn’t likely to stick around out of a sense of parental duty.
Babies change your life, but they don’t change who you are.
“Kailyn doesn’t have any desire to get back with Chris romantically, but she thinks it’s really important for their child to have him in his or her life.”
It’s … kind of important? We’ll get to that.
“The thought of her baby having to grow up without a father to guide and love him or her absolutely breaks Kailyn’s heart”
Kailyn needs to understand that different home environments impact different children in different ways.
Now, Kailyn’s already a mom, to Isaac and to Lincoln.
Jo and Javi, the respective fathers of the boys, are there for their sons even though they have their own lives independent of Kailyn’s.
That’s, you know, following your basic responsibilities.
But we need to talk about Kailyn’s preoccupation that growing up without a father will somehow damage her baby.
Because she’s wrong.
Don’t get us wrong, growing up with two parents is at least potentially better than growing up with just one.
Growing up with eight parents is even better, but that’s usually only an option for those polyamorous relationships where they buy a house together and raise any children together.
Or maybe on, like, a commune.
But single parents can do amazing jobs of raising children, and those children can grow up happy and productive.
Kailyn clearly developed some issues (like, a number of them) as a result of growing up without her father.
(Some of those issues led her to where she is now in life, having started as a teenage mother and now having three babies with three fathers)
But she needs to understand that her experience isn’t universal.
Some people grow up and thrive with a single parent.
It’s hard on the parent, absolutely — fewer people to share the work and emotional labor.
But if Kailyn’s concern is that her child will grow up with the same complex that she did, she doesn’t need to worry.
In fact, plenty of kids raised by single parents are better off without the other.
Maybe Chris Lopez would be a good father if he were willing to be one.
But usually, if somebody’s shirking their responsibilities from the get-go, they’re not going to suddenly transform into an all-around good person.
Kailyn can work to create an environment for this baby that will be healthy and nurturing.
It might be a little confusing, since the baby’s brothers will both have dads, but Kailyn can absolutely find a way to explain that to her youngest child that will be delicate and affirming.
But … Chris has to pay child support, right?
