Last night on Bachelor in Paradise, a new addition to the cast arrived in the tropics and threw off the entire vibe, and balance of power.
So basically, Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 Episode 3 began with the same premise as every episode ever … but it was still entertaining!
If you watch Bachelor in Paradise online, or follow celebrity gossip at all, you know this season has been marred by scandal so far.
Finally, after a tumultuous production period and over five hours of air time on ABC, we finally made it to a rose ceremony Monday.
First, however, Adam showed up and made a move on Raven, which made Ben Z. so devastated, pondering life and love and loss.
Who would she choose when it was decision time?!
At the ceremony, Taylor picked Derek, Jasmine picked Matt, Alexis picked Jack Stone, Lacey picked Diggy, and Danielle M. picked Ben.
Kristina picked Dean, Amanda Stanton saved Robby Hayes a humiliating early exit, and Raven picked Adam for reasons kind of unknown.
Iggy, Alex, Vinny and Nick all left, but the drama was just beginning thanks to the arrival of Danielle Lombard, the hottest woman alive.
Or so that dress and the guys’ reactions indicate.
“On a scale of one to physically attractive, I’ll take physically attractive for 500 please,” Dean said, which makes zero sense but you get the idea.
In any event, Dean was really into “D-Lo,” a nickname we’re pretty sure ABC made up five minutes prior, leaving Kristina out in the cold.
Hey, you do what you gotta do to ride ATVs and talk to hot girls about when their birthday is and make other scintillating small talk.
“Here’s to getting super dirty!” Dean said, awkwardly adding that Danielle was the only hot girl he knew about heading into the series.
Later, Dean confessed to Kristina that he shared a “little peck” with D-Lo and that their conversation had featured some nice “ebb and flow.”
Just when you thought he might spare us any more eye rolls, he showed up to hang out with the group … holding a piece of cake.
Why, you ask? Get ready …
Because if a birthday falls between two major holidays, as D-Lo’s does (December 28) you’re supposed to celebrate it on your half birthday.
Happy birthday Danielle?
Kristina broke down into tears after this, as Dean continued to ogle Danielle and we pondered our place in the world for watching this.
She is hot though. Where does she rank among the Bachelor franchise’s most sultry (and where does Dean rank among its most idiotic)?
