Robert Pattinson is so great, right? So adorable and funny and just so, so good.
But there"s no denying that he"s come a long way since he first appeared on our radar as the brooding, creepy, glittery vampire in Twilight.
These days, Rob is in a very different place in his life, and in his career, too.
For instance, instead of doing film adaptations of dumb teenage fantasy books, he"s doing critically acclaimed movies in which he may or may not have sexual relations with dogs.
Confused? It"s OK, so are we.
But good ol" Rob explained the whole sketchy story on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
He was there to promote his new movie, Good Time, which premieres next week, and at one point, Jimmy brought up a story about a dog in the movie.
At first, Rob doesn"t want to get into the story — as he explained, it may not have technically been legal — but later he relents.
And the story sure is a doozy.
As he says, his character in the movie "has this affinity with dogs," and he actually "thinks he is a dog in a previous life and he thinks he has control over animals."
"There"s this one scene we shot," he continued. "There"s a drug dealer who busts into the room, and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a hand job."
… And there it is.
It seems like Rob was a little hesitant about actually doing the deed, and thank goodness.
"I asked the trainer because the director was like, "Just do it for real, man! Don"t be a pussy!"" he recalled.
"And the dog"s owner was like, "Well, he"s a breeder. I mean, you can. You just gotta massage the inside of his thighs.""
But in the end, he refused to go through with it, and the crew made a fake dog penis to use for the scene instead.
Because this is the world we live in.
Really, it"s nice that Rob refused to do a scene like this — as he said, it could very well be illegal, but even if it"s not, it"s disgusting and wrong.
We"re proud of him. honestly.
But still, it still feels like it would have been better if no one had ever learned this horrific story.
Here, go ahead and scar yourself by watching the video below:
